Assuming Rita goes tonight.

If Rach won immunity next round, my ideal scenario would be a 2-2 vote on Neal and Woo. I would tie this vote and I would vote Neal for that to happen.

yeah i deserve that vote.

Ok so.

The situation is very weird.

I have Neal who just assumes I'm going to vote Woo.

I have Woo who has told me he will never vote for me. Woo who I've been with all game begging me for his life to the end of this game. God damn it.

I don't know where Rachel stands. I don't know if she's going to want to boot me or Neal, or just go with the planned Woo that's been planned for a Lóng time with her (even though I don't think we would have held that up). We're going to be talking a lot over the next day though. So here we go.

This is going to succcck.

im probs just gonna do whatever ties the vote tbh

:')

WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO ON THIS VOTE

WHAT THE FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Spoiler	+
UUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK am i doing

I never want to play an org again. I hate this and I don't know what I'm going to do still.

Well I hope the VL doesn't hate me for that decision! I hope the jury doesn't either. Woo and Rach sure as hell do.

That was a shitty ass decision to make and something that was the hardest ORG decision I've ever made. This time, emotion won out. Fuck emotion. Fuck friendship and not being able to do the thing you think you should do. In the end this was a decision I made though. I toiled over it alllll fucking day and night.

I want to be independent of Neal and voting him out would have accomplished that...just...I could not do that.

I probably sound like an idiot or something, I don't know. Maybe I look like I was completely played, but this meant more to me than a game, I guess.

But hey, I made FTC. I'm supposed to feel happy about that, right?

Right...?

I don't feel much right now.

This sucks.

Woo isn't talking to me, which sucks! Nor is Rach, but meh it's Rach.

Anyways, I've slept on it and I've gotten over myself being a twat last night! I'm excited for an FTC and I'm ready to give it my all still! I'm trying to think of a way to make a super creative opening speech or something.

I just wanna do something different because I feel like doing something different is going to help me at this point. I feel like I'm probably someone who might only have a shot at a couple of votes, but we'll see.

I do actually hope Woo wins, since that makes Neal a vote for me on jury >_> Plus, he's someone that will rally for me on the jury. I don't know if Neal would be that person if I had voted him out. I actually think Neal might have been very emotional and upset if I voted him out, probably causing me more issues in the jury than I probably already have.

I don't know how this will turn out, and I don't really know the proper logical solution to who I should have voted last night. There's too much up in the air to know and that sucks, but it is what it is. Woo winning the tiebreak might give me more of a shot in FTC because I do have stuff to kinda fight with against Rach and Woo, where will Neal that might be more difficult. Woo going to jury now might suck because I don't know if he'd vote for me after last night. I really screwed the pooch on how I played last night, and I'm very aware of that. My explanation is emotions D:

Anywho! Yeah, FTC. Holy shit FTC in Sausage Island >_> Whoaaaaaa. That's a lot.

I am really grateful to be here though, I'm sorry if I've sounded like a depressive mess that doesn't want to be here, I really do. I convince myself I don't deserve it a lot of them time, but I really do try to put all the work I can in!

This game has gone on a Lóng ass time, but everyday I'm always online, always talking to people and always thinking about how I can further myself. I know I probably seem like Neal's little bitch sometimes, but I've done my fair share. I'm going to argue what my fair share was soon enough. I made strategic plays and moves and I worked my own way into groups and dragged Neal aLóng at times. I need to make sure that the jury knows this. I also need to make sure the jury knows what I did to keep myself safe, and have Neal as a bit of a dummy to take some hits.

But seriously, I've never worked my ass off harder in a game. I don't know how my confessional activity is compared to the others, I hope it's okay! I have been constantly working in the game though. Strategizing, socializing, making sure I have people solid. It's hours of work a day and it's been nuts.

The past 2 months have seen my through a lot of life stuff, with some family health stuff, 2 big ass trips, starting a new full-time job, trying to actually attempt a relationship, then add on this game and then hosting another. I have no free time :P My social life has gone to shiiiiiit.

Thank you sooooo much, hosts. Like, I have loved this game from a design standpoint. The twists and turns threw us all for a loop and playing to them has been a blast. I'm so happy I've been able to navigate through them and get here. But to you two, I don't know how you actually make this game come together in full, it's a fucking miracle but you just keep doing. Minimal mistakes and decent handling of them when they do happen, it's really impressive. As someone who has attempted hosting, like holy shit go you guys.

ANYWAYS, I'm rambling and have to work. So, thank you again and hearts all around. I hope I was a worthy casting choice >_>

During our big talks over the past couple of days, Rach decided feminist agenda was the way to approach this whole thing :P An interesting tactic >_>

Why the fuck did I sign up for another org am i stupid

I have been trying to write this fucking speech all day but I have so much family stuff going on...

At this rate the last half of my speech is going to be written by a very very very drunk liz