Awwww sheeeeit and welcome to part dos of the dos part classic in the Sausage Island miniseries Joega beach, the best half-assed series since Ashton Kutcher's Two and a Half Men!
For the hell of it
SONG TO DO THAT HAS BEACH IN MUSIC VIDEO OF DAY
So I didn't understand how scoring worked at first until I began reading aLóng with the challenge. I think if I had done this challenge I'd have wanted to win cus of course, duh, so I would have went all in (7) on each of the questions tbh because I'm stupid and kamikaze shit and my mindset would have been "that's 1/11th of all allocated points on each question so if I have good perception of the cast this is enough to tip the scale in my favour, so let's count up these points and jerk my invisible dick off about how great I am!
...so technically Jenna, Jer, and myself are tied here. I'm going to pretend that out of the good graces of the hosts hearts because I was eliminated and going on a whim (also they like me the most) so they let me continue so adios Jer and Jenna! Stupid Sexy's still kickin!
<3 you Liz you drunken slur of a person miss you every day.
AFTER QUESTION 24
Spoiler
+
Joe - 56
Neal - 49
Woo - 46
Finally...
AFTER QUESTION 25
Spoiler
+
JOE - 63
Neal - 56
Woo - 46
Assuming that I would have gotten one of the first three questions right, which if I were in the game I'd assume I would have -- I would have spanked these suckas.
For each set of three questions, you have seven points to spread out.
So I lose this technically. But this is MY hypothetical beach so I get to play by MY rules and my rules state I get to go all in on each round so I still win suck it hosts my beach my rules!
(But considering I got 9/25 right and if I strategically spaced questions out and was in the game I'm guessing I still could have won this challenge so I'm still chalking it up as a win so fuck the establishment JOE-DOYLE STILL RULES)
And I really can't be bothered to figure out how I'd allocate points because I didn't bother reading the first time and thought I caught on reading and now I know all of the answers so it would be unfair. Oh well.
Joe, where are your write-ups about the challenges?? I need to know how to feel about them.
I've been searching for the absolute best beach themed beach songs that involve beaches. I cannot put out anything less than quality! The next batch of self-centered narcissism of how I would totally win everything and anything will be dedicated to your prize chickens -- namely Edgar the Chicken.
Hey all of you questionably aged ladies that I can't determine whether you're a teenager or an adult, friendly neighbourhood Joe Anglim back at it again with the white vans challenge reviews.
Fuck that Damn Daniel meme by the way. Fuck it.
There's one thing that precedes the beach goodness that I have served up for you today
in 240p!
but first I gotta dedicate this to Edgar the . Melinda inspired me to get out of my rut, stretch my legs, do some brisk jogging, Joega of course, and bring y'all back to the only only island that matters on this forum. My own self-obsessed island in my mind is far superior to these dollar store discount questionable meat sausages Lex has served up all season.
<3 Brett though.
Love you Melinda <3
NOW IT'S TIME FOR SOME 240p BEACH MUSIC GET YOUR FAVOURITE BIKINI ON AND FLING YOUR HAIR TO THIS BANGER
What a fucking classic.
Aight fam let's kick it back to a challenge ago and go back to the days of Challenge 14 - The Domino Effect
I'm going to decide to skip Puppet Masters because I think it would be a downright shame to even imagine my pristine puppet perishing in fiery perils. Pretty cool alliteration right there m8! Lesbehonest, these mafuckas woulda went for me because, well, I'm Joe Anglim. I'd go for me too. It's all out of jealousy; I'm jealous of the man in the mirror when I first wake up in the morning until I realize that it's me!
I'm also going to skip the marketplace auction because I have a terrible gambling problem and I totally would have exchanged those 500 fictional Monopoly Survivor dollars into casino coins and lost it all on a slot machine in a night. I'm a physical threat, not a fiscal threat.
ANYWAYS THE DOMINO EFFECT.
The challenge is pretty simple in theory; post your domino every ten seconds, ON THE DOT, thirty times.
I'd think I'd have some confidence going into this; I was able to do very well and win the first Zodiac signs challenge, and this was posting on the dot every ten seconds. I had to meticulously switch between a google sheet and the forum in five second intervals and for the most part I always hit the intended mark. It's all about knowing the time it takes in between hitting the add reply button and it actually showing up on the board. I was able to do this pretty well in the zodiac challenge therefore I would rate my ability to succeed in this challenge on the Melinda Hyder scale
9 Chicken Eggs out of 10.
The uncertainty comes with the unforseen issues, such as lag spikes, focus, preparing for the next post in the ten second interval, the stress that comes with posting on such a precise time, and inevitable frustration when you fuck up. I think if I'm able to figure myself out and get pretty comfortable with a posting challenge with some trial and error, so with a few mishaps, if I got into the tempo I think I'd easily beat Rachel and have that pretty white and purple flag gif next to my pearly Colgate brand chiclets.
That's gonna wrap up this edition of Joega Beach! I'm probably gonna skip Groupthink -- I intended to jot down notes about challenge times and whatnot in case of a challenge like this, but the questions were a lot more obscure than I intended and it would really come down to the group I'd have. Liz's group won though, and I'd guess Liz would pick me -- so I'll just half-assedly say that I would have won that one too.
Hit that BEACH MUSIC THAT INVOLVES A SCENE OF A BEACH OR MORE THAN ONE SCENE OF A BEACH BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU THERE INVOLVES AT LEAST ONE SCENE OF A BEACH!
I love the memes! I'm so in touch!
Hey Brett it's me, Joe! (Because Brett is the only person giving me what I starve for -- attention)
I'm back to try to prove that I can still stomp mudholes in people's asses with a challenge that I'm certain to not do too great in!
This challenge is easy enough, put everything in place, find the numbers out of place, bring down the tile and smash it. Unlike the touchy subjects I thought I won, I actually read the rules this time and am prepared to give it a go. I haven't looked at the actual solution to the challenge or the time results -- all I know is that Liz won immunity and I am very happy for her <3. Now I'm gonna see if I'd be able to raise my flag quicker than hers.
I'm pretty slow at putting things into place and dragging/dropping. With 100 tiles I can see this get overwhelming pretty quick. I don't really know what I'm getting myself into but I'll give it a go!
From the moment I post this is when my time begins. I'm also going to time myself on my phone since seconds are currently disabled on the board. Time to put my money (lack thereof) where my mouth is!
