OKAY here we go with a big confessional.

So the past couple rounds have not been GREAT for me. Losing Neal's idol to save Ken, then losing Ken and feeling fairly betrayed. I felt a low in the game. The group I loved from the start, Neal/Kenny/Joe. 2 thirds of that was gone. Now, I'm back from my trip. I'm ready to be in this fucking game, and I'm ready to take my revenge.

This Round: Jeremiah.

Next Round: WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!!!!

this is a moment where i dont know if i did the right thing. i think i had to screw someone over here and i didn't have to time figure out if i could minimize that. rita's message like...that actually got to me. fuck. you are a grown ass man, liz. stop crying.

Why do I do the things I do...

I get close to people on an emotional level and then just, I hurt them. I hurt them right after I felt hurt. Fuck, I'm an idiotic asshole. I hope they can like not hate me. I understand if they do, just I hope they don't. I don't dislike any of them. I just separate emotion and strategy and sometimes fail to realize how emotion is the strategy. Emotions towards you. I just sent two people out with bitter tastes in their mouths. Alina is not feeling much better, I'm betting.

It's gonna be a Lóng way down to an FTC but I dread that FTC. I dread it so much.

Lizzie @ 14/6/2016 20:21

OKAY here we go with a big confessional

Lmao wtf i barely wrote a paragraph. I was going to do a big one but then, you know, drugs and stuff. Doing that block challenge while really fucking baked @_@ jesus

was typing WOO when i realized this was not the right convo :)

I should chronicle what happened at that survivor game thing i went to

OK So. I was CONVINCED i was gonna be first boot but the game starts 4 tribes and my tribe has one guy that ive had some drama with in the past and another guy i trust inherently. So some previous relationships in the game. Now the last guy on the tribe is a kinda quiet guy, and i mean im not a super quiet guy. ok so we win the first 2 immunities and the first 3 boots are people i didnt really trust (one tc was a double). So thats OK But My tribe of 4 has made a STRONG pact. We called ourselves the Sorority

FINAL 12
On my tribe, i am separated from my close allies Matt, Cody, Ryan. i feel on the bottom of the tribe immediately. we win first immunity. one of my allies goes (the 4th member of original tribe dude named ben wood).

so my tribe loses the next immunity :/I pleadddd. And two guys that are close, call them Jeff and Gamma. They name me and Alex #2 as possible boots
Fuddddgee. I plead and then there is a 3-3 vote on Alex #2 and Jeff. I flip and Boot Alex

FINAL 11
We lose next immunity. Well we know merge is next round and the one person left out in the flip. Hes a challenge beast. He gets targeted over me but i wanted to side with challenge beast, this is Bro
ALEX #1
Alex #1 is a typical merge boot type person
and we beg him and WE PLEAD OUR CASE
AND We vote out Jeff
Gamma votes me
Jeff votes Bro
3-1-1
IM SAFE
AND BABY ITS MERGE TIME

FINAL 10
And i get back together with MAH BOYS. Cody and Ryan and I grab in cutie patootie Matt too. Well we get a vote going on. Dee and Mollie. 4-4-2, the 2 being Mollie and Dee. ANd then we work with Brian and Bro to boot...typical merge boot Alex #1. Seriously lovely guy and i love him lots and lots. 5-2-2-1. yes that #mess. Alex #1 goes ofc. MAJORITY

So next round that close Bro guy makes a final 3 with me and Brian!!! And we plan to vote RYAN. whoa. WHOA. No and Bro gets voted out 6-2-1. BLINDSIDED AND BACKSTABBED by meeee because he believed my lie that i was never close to ryan.

Matt and I fuck
and then its the next day
jk matt and i just went to the grocery store together and talked a lot of game

Codys a dork its cute. hes cute. but straight. lame.

FINAL 7
32 mins ago
Lizzie Kim's icon
Mollie targets ME
MOLIIE
COLMEipnropnvq'
MOLLIE
MOLZ
what u DOINGOGML and Gamma take on to that

no wait. i skipped final 8. it was boring. Dee goes out

FINAL 7
I gotta rely on Ryan, Cody, and Matt to SAVE me but Matt shows me his idol And GIVES IT TO ME in case things feel like they are going sour. well at tribal i call out gamma and tell him im voting him. cuz i figured that would SOLIDIFY my votes more and get more info out. it comes out that CODY is the swing vote. /BACK TRACK THIS STORY/right before tribal started cody showed me HIS idol. /Fast forward/ to vote. 4-3 Gamma goes, i got votes. I also gave matt his idol back.

FINAL 6
OK
SO
final 6 Brian and MOllie on the bottom, Matt wants to keep mollie and use her, im ok with this. So Brian is SUPER obvi target. I win immunity. #BocceGod. I know where both game idols are. We go to tribal and boot brian :)
WAIT
BRIAN
HAS
AN
IDOL
Surprise 3rd idol that changes this whole fucking game. Ryan goes out. 5-1. 5 votes negated. In response to the idol both matt and cody use the idols. No more idols on my allies and an ally gone but i have cody and matt close.

Final 5
Brian wins fucking immunity. Mollie targets Me. Brian tells me Matt is the vote. Cody and Matt assure me it's Mollie that is the vote. i talk with cody and matt seperatly and solidify them and tc time comes. i realize on the couch that matt has very SLIGHTLY more incentive to keep mollie even though we're so close, im just close to cody too and mollie wasnt, so he would have a vaguely better f4 situation. And matt flips. And i get voted out 3-2 :)

Final 4 Brian wins (challenge beasted and idolled his way to FTC with Mollie and Matt).
Matt and Cody tie in the TC 2-2. Matt wins the tiebreaker of Black and White from The Genius.

Brian wins 4-2-1. i voted Mollie and i cried in my jury speech...not much just like a little bit. Matt took the loss hard. i couldnt bring myself to talk to him right after

but yeah >_> this was an intense few days. Add on no internet and that was why i wasnt talkin. oh also we all got fucked up nightly. There is video footage >_>

Yikes that sounds like quite an odyssey, there

It was fun as fuck!!!

I wanna like...change the game up but I dont want to hurt people. I forsee this round suckinggggggg

I have a choice.

What could it be D:

I'm so stressed out right now. I don't know what I want to do in this round and I'm flailing. Fuck me I better not fuck myself right out of this game. What the hell do I do now? I have this balance of emotion and game that I need to consider right now. I feel like a fucking asshole for the last few votes and I want to make it right but I don't know how to do that. I'm going to have to hurt someone again, though. This game hurts to play. I think it's either Hunter or Nick going, assuming no idol drudgery.

Repuation has gone down 4 points in the last day. Sorry to you doing that that I probably fucked over and deserve nothing but hate from.

Okay.

I'm gonna do it. I'm going to do SOMETHING in this game. I hate being the one to say the name, but I'm going to do what I can to vote out Hunter. I like Hunter, but with how the game has been going, I don't know what terms I'm on with people in the jury. I know this isn't going to make Hunter happy, but I need something in the end to point to and be like "Hey, I needed to make what I've done to many of you better and this is where I started. I know it's a little fucking late but god damn I wanna do something for you people."

This is a big fucking thing. I don't know if it's a good idea, but I fucking hate my jury chances now. Let's see what I can do.

The one thing I'm scared about...is Hope.

She's been the best friend to me this whole game and telling her about this is me asking her to take a small hit to her game and her relationships. I did already tell her it's what I want to do, but we're kind of in the process of talking it through. Fuck, I hate this. Hope, when you read this post-game, which I hope you do, I just really want you to know I was being truthful in saying that all of my stress came from worrying about you on this vote. I don't want to screw you, I don't want to lie to you and I think you know that. This move is just something I feel like I need to do.

But yeah.

Anyways.

I'll do a video confessional soon with my thoughts in a more analytical sense. I hate typing out Survivor strategy, but I can talk for hours! So you get my emotions box here and in video form, I'll give you something moreee!

I thought my play this round would really do a number on me and screw me over but instead I think things went well. They really did. I hope anyways. I shall learn soon enough. That was a fun and weird round though. The outcome I can say I didnt expect coming into this round but im happy with it in the end. I think it gives me energy for the rest of this game!!

Final 8 is an exciting pool of activity! (I know I'm one to talk on this one...)