So this is an awesome game.

On one side, there is Eric's team. Eric/Kmanda/Ronnie/Monica/Kim.

On the other side, there is everyone else.

And there's me...who is on the fucking bottom of either side. No one talks to me, and any attempts I make at communication are met with a brick wall. I know why this is happening -- it's because I voted with Eric's crew on the MiYi vote for the fucking lulz. And that's fucked me so hard right here in this game, because no one trusts me.

Now, I'm not gonna give up. I'm gonna keep my head down for a lil bit and not do anything stupid. I'm going to REALLY work on building trust with Heather, Sierra, etc. I'm going full Sandra here -- "As long as it isn't me." If others get targeted before me, I will lend my vote.

It's an uphill battle from here :| hopefully I can survive.

Well this round was actually somewhat interesting. Once again, Eric wanted my vote. He's been clamoring for it these past few rounds, and I've been giving it to them. Once we hit merge though, I flipped back to the big majority in this game by using my blue potion on Monica. It made the most sense to me -- if I used it on anyone else, I could easily become a target.

Thankfully, Eric's team is a sinking ship. Kim has told me outright that she is sick of Eric and Ronnie. Also, Kmanda is quickly realizing that if she doesn't do something she's toast. Kmanda offered me an alliance, and I quickly accepted. I love her so much on a personal level, she really is one of my favorite people that I've met in these games. We're both also close with Kim, so that's a strong trio that I can work with to survive this merge.

Mike also pitched me an...alliance of sorts. He pitched it as a "guerilla warfare" alliance. The dude recognizes that I've been flipping back and forth, and he claims that he's doing the same thing...even though there's no real evidence from my end to prove that. I'm guessing he wants to feel comfortable here. Unfortunately, I just don't trust the guy. I know he has thrown people under the bus in this game, and I really do not want to work with that.

I know he's even lied to me this round. He knows that Eric/Ronnie are on the chopping block, so he told me that they both have an idol this round. I was VERY skeptical, so I went to Kmanda and she confirmed -- they only have ONE. So the vote is probably going to split between Eric/ronnie, and one of them wlll go home. But yeah...I don't like that Mike thought he could lie to my face and get away with it.

And I will be voting Ronnie. I'm honestly flabergasted at him and Eric. They both apparently need my vote, but they will not even message me directly! I've heard nothing from them all round...not even a plea to stay alive. So of course I'm going to vote for one of them, like what do you expect!

Bluh

Right now, I'm just trying to survive. Find some solid allies, rekindle some old relationships. And hopefully slide into the finals.

So....that round happened. Kim/Kmanda/Monica were all up on the block. I obviouly was keep on voting out monica. Kim/Kmanda are becoming friends of mine in this game, and I'm really starting to trust them.

However, heather and jerri both wanted to vote out Kim. Unfortunately for them, I fucking despise them both. Heather is a passive aggressive snot rocket, and Jerri is a bitch liar. So, I'm not gonna vote out my bae Kim for them.

A common theme in this game so far is people not wanting to actually work with me and just using me for my vote. Yul did it. Eric and Ronnie did it. And now Heather is TRYING to do it. Like, do these people not realize that I do not play these games to be a vote slave? I'm going to work with the people who want to work with me, not expect me to just do whatever they want me to do.

Whatever!

I've actually found a good crew for now? Kim made an alliance of her/me/kmanda/zmanda/sierra -- and I kinda like that group. It's two pairs, with me in the middle. Which hopefully means I don't get 5th...rather they'll go after each and I can get F3 lol.

Well, assuming this alliance gets to 5. Which it won't. But I mean it totally could, and that'd be awesome.

Boo, I actually wanted to win that IC. Was hoping that Sierra and I would both win it with the tie, but instead one of us had to tomato the other. And Sierra wasn't an idiot and still had her big tomato, so she won it. ;(

Now I have no idea what'll happen at this tribal..which is why I wanted to be safe. Gonna be a mess.

This is one of those rounds that's honestly so stressful that I can't write cohesively about it.

I know that I'm Erik/Mike/Eric's target. Mike has expressed an interest in saving me, but he thinks he doesn't have the votes. Eric and Erik just want to vote me out.

Everyone else is honestly interested in keeping me. But they're divided on who they want out. Kmanda/Kim want Erik out (as do I, to be honest). Heather/Jerri/Sierra APPARENTLY want Mike out, which I find incredibly confusing since I thought Heather was close with Mike. OF those three, I know Sierra genuinely wants to keep me, but she refuses to vote Erik because she wants to get Mike's idol out.

So right now, the plan is to vote Mike with sierra/heather/jerri. And honestly, I'm not sure they're being honest with me but whatever. If I go home now, at least it was in a crzy round.

Well, that last round sure was something. Honestly, it's what I play these games for...being the target and having to worm my way out of a situation. And it worked..it was fucking insane but it worked.

Sierra really helped out a LOT with it. She kinda saw the angle of getting Mike out with only four votes, which is what saved my ass. Granted, I could've just told Kmanda and Kim to vote Mike, and that probably would've worked but...eh. I didn't want to put them in a precarious position, so that ended up happening. I DID tell Kmanda/Kim that Mike was probably going to go home, because I didn't want them to be pissed at me. That was a bridge that I didn't feel like had to be burned.

This round has shown me, once again, how scary of an ally Sierra actually is. She stays invisible for so long, then just swoops in and fucks everything up. She can't make it to the endgame...because she will win the challenges and ride to the end with a win..which is scary.

Can I just say that I love how there are like...four or five fans left? <3 We've been rocking this game, even though none of us fucking trust each other. But initially I was totally #TeamFan, so it's great to see us doing so well.

But yeah, this is an surviving BB round. I'm honestly hoping that Sierra/Zmanda don't win, and someone who will nom them wins it. Then I can start weakening Sierra's power base. The issue here is, atm, I am in no position to do that at all on my own. Not enough people trust me to make a move against her.

Ugh. I don't know. I'm happy I'm here.

WHO WANTS TO SEE MY HOH ROOM?



Ohh :(

So, gonna be another two crazy rounds.

This round, Sierra SHOULD be going. There should be five votes on her from me/zmanda/kim/kmanda/eric. If this doesn't work out, then well...fuck. It'll be a shitty round.

Basically, everyone figured out that Sierra has her fingers in a lot of different pots. I've had a group chat with her/zmanda/kim/kmanda for awhile called "fk heather 2015."In that chat, I posted the little message snippet I posted in here awhile ago about Heather claiming that I've been "brainwashed."

Lo and behold, Heather told me last round that she had heard I was claiming she said the brainwashing comment. She also denied that she said it, which is hilarious. But yeah, obviously someone leaked from the group chat, and I am inclined to believe that it is Sierra.

ALSO, I have heard that she told Zmanda that she wants to work with Heather/Jerri vs Kim/Kmanda. Which is bad, because she did not have that conversation with me. So, tl;dr, I can't trust her at all.

And I still have to make my noms! Erik and a few others want me to nominate Heather. The ISSUE here is that I know Jerri has an idol, which she can use to DPOV Heather off of the block. I also know that Jerri is going to nominate Kim...so I basically need to make sure that I put someone up who will a) stay on the block and b) go home over Kim.

That person...is probably Erik, to be quite honest. Which is what's really best for my game since he and Eric both voted for me. But that will be my justification for it, TBH.

So meh. That BB round happened. I initially put up Erik, because I let my EMOTIONAL side get the better of me. I felt bad because I actually have a somewhat decent relationship with Eric, and I didn't want to ruin it by stabbing him in the back after he helped us with the Sierra vote. BUT, Zmanda used her idol and saved her "man" Erik and put Eric up.

This honestly was the best thing for me? Like, Eric went home and my hands were 100% clean of the blood. It was nice. I still do feel bad, because I like Eric a lot as a person and we were finally getting back on the same page in this game. But oh well. The strategic player in me knows it was probably the best possible scenario.

Nowwww we get to the fun part. Because I am most likely going to be a swing vote at the F7. Kim/Kmanda/Zmanda need my vote, and Heather/Jerri need my vote. I'm pretty surprised at how I've managed to slide into such a good fucking position in this game.

*knock on wood* lol

But there was obviously one drawback to the round, and that was Erik staying. Now, I was really afraid that Erik was going to want to come after me. In reality, he should not, because we're both in a similar position in this game. We have a good relationships on both sides of the game, and we can pretty much swing back and forth for a couple rounds.

But, I was afraid our relationship was going to ensure that didn't happen.

BUT

Erik approached me! And basically said that he wanted to work with me, and that I was his best shot of getting to the finals and winning. I was fucking enthralled. I am literally in such a good spot in this game *knock on wood* :x

So yeah, Me/Erik is now a thing. How fucking unbelievable, right? I'm not too sure how far I want to go with the guy -- ultimately, I think I could take him to F3 and win. We'll see though.

This round is funny lol

Because I'm the swingggg vote kinda

Basically, I've been approached with two plans.

Zmanda wants to vote for Erik but tell Erik we are voting for Heather/Jerri. Then if an idol is played, it'll go on Jerri, and Erik will go home.

Heather/Jerri both approached me about voting Kim. We would need an extra vote, presumably from Erik or Kmanda. Kmanda is actually interesting in flipping, which is good. We've both noticed that kim/zmanda are close, and I personally don't think Kim is interested in taking me to finals.

I think I'm gonna vote Kim...it sucks. Ugh, I'm so nervous about this I can't really write properly. I know I'm gonna have to do a lot of damage control after this which is gonna suck. But I think I can make it through and survive. Sorry Kim, ily.

And that's it. Three more votes until F3.

Erik and Heather are both huge pussies. They rant and rave about how Kim has so much control over this game, and then when push comes to shove they don't vote her. Like, it's incredible how much control Kim exerted over this entire game, and I'm glad I helped pull the trigger to get her out.

It's whatever though. I'm playing a fab strategic game, but not the best jury management game LOL. :x there's a ton of jury votes that I just won't get, so I have to hope people just respect my strategic game enough to vote for me. If not, then whatever. I'm really happy to have made it this far anyway.

OK can we talk about how the only person to vote in the majority at every merge TC is apparently a buttmonkey?

Feeling very MIXED about this vote. I like and respect Zmanda a lot as a person. We've been decent friends outside of this game, so for her to leave so unceremoniously like this is kind of sad. I want to try to do something to mix it up and save her, but I'm not really interested with the way she's been attacking me and everyone else.

That said, I'm just wondering if I should at least act like I'm putting in the effort? Or if it's too late for that to be convincing. Votes are due in 5-6 hours (too late to check), so any saving of her that I do would probably just be seen as phony lol.

I just love how I'm being seen as Kmanda's lackey in all of this. I literally can't catch a break in this game in terms of being seen as someone's underling. In the beginning, I was Yul's underling. I vote him out? I'm now Kim's underling. I vote her out? I'm now Kmanda's underling. It's actually ridiculous.

I mean, it's GOOD because I won't be targeted before Kmanda. Which means I'm guaranteed like F4 or F3.

But now, there's two directions I can go. I can either get Kmanda out at F5, or take the risk and get her out at 4. If she wins immunity at 4...that's it. I'm done. But I might be the logical target at 4, which isn't really a good thing. Especially since I would hate the F3 lol.

But for now, gotta focus on this round. Zmanda's out.