what a game, guys. what a game. what....... a game

i had been dreading today because i had officially decided: if it came down to my decision, i was drawing a rock, and i wasn't afraid to try and wall kat into flipping to avoid two rocks between us and julia.

little did i know she was in the middle of a major crisis herself

Kat Edorsson (4:09:44 PM): what do i do?
Kat Edorsson (4:09:53 PM): they want to vote you and spencer
Kat Edorsson (4:09:56 PM): i cant convince them
Kat Edorsson (4:10:01 PM): just tell me what to do
Dana Lambert (4:10:31 PM): Would you hate voting Sydney/Eliza
Kat Edorsson (4:10:35 PM): no
Kat Edorsson (4:10:37 PM): i will
Kat Edorsson (4:10:39 PM): i dont want this mess
Dana Lambert (4:10:40 PM): Then do it
Kat Edorsson (4:10:42 PM): ok



Kat Edorsson (4:25:57 PM): im sorry i ever went against you
Dana Lambert (4:26:18 PM): I saw the logic, it was frustrating but I saw it and I absolutely forgive you lmao
Dana Lambert (4:27:31 PM): We saw the game in very different perspectives and we each wanted to act accordingly
Kat Edorsson (4:28:18 PM): i guess the way i saw it is you will always be my #1 priority but only one of us could be in control because the sides we were on and i really wanted it to be me
Dana Lambert (4:28:28 PM): Yeah same
Kat Edorsson (4:28:29 PM): but here i am surrenduring the control to you
Kat Edorsson (4:28:30 PM): have it
Kat Edorsson (4:28:35 PM): i jsut want us to both make it



*sees 6-6-2-2 vote for sydney and eliza to leave and no votes for me*



guys i made final 6 oh my gofd

i fell asleep about an hour before deadline and just woke up about twenty minutes ago to AIM going absolutely crazy and i just cannot with everything right now tbqh

honestly a big reason why i barely confessed last round was because i genuinely had no idea what i was planning on doing until today. i totally checked out of the game emotionally for a couple days as a sanity break so i didn't really think about it too much :x but i essentially had to figure out if i felt loyalty to kat was more important than loyalty to original ki, while hoping spencer came down to the same conclusion. voting with kat essentially meant tossing my game aside for my personal feelings about someone i've grown to deeply adore and care about throughout the game, despite her repeated stubbornness in making moves that benefit her game while harming my own. voting with Ki meant voting with a group of loyal people who deeply trusted me and have had interests lining up with mine since merge started, while letting 3 members of an original tribe all make f6. ALTOGETHER A VERY RISKY DECISION. however, i was ready to force the tie, because i didn't want to go into f6 short on allies who really trusted me. the perfect scenario was one person from each side leaving, but spencer and i were very hesitant to believe kat and julia would make good on that deal.

but things kinda went my way without having to try because kat loves me as much as i love her, without the hesitation to sink her game for me, which i'm honestly just blown away by and i feel a little weird knowing i was about to make the opposite decision and risk going to a rock pull that one of us would be guaranteed to leave from.........

oh btw, now that i made my goal of f6 my eye is firmly on the prize. gonna make FTC if it kills me. not too worried who i sit with, i feel confident i can beat anyone besides probably julia

my perfect scenario this round is for julia to leave, then next round i need to talk spencer into flipping on marisa.

i know i didn't really need to win that challenge but god dang did i want to, and it turned out to play really well into my strengths. i'm pretty good at thinking on my feet and i'm skilled with words so it came pretty easily to me. the main reason i wanted to win was for the sake of having options with this vote. i knew i wasn't going to be at risk of leaving with or without it, i just needed to have that little security blanket in case i decided to throw some shit at the fan to make sure it wouldn't land on me in the process.

at this point, the plan for my alliance is to split the votes between kat and julia, making the vote a 2-2 tie. kat and julia know this. kat understands julia might have to leave... but she's not letting me making it easy! kat wants me to vote with kat and julia to make the vote 3-2-1 with my CHOICE of which Ki leaves. this could be my best opportunity to get rid of marisa, my biggest challenge threat at this stage of the game. i'm not stupid; i'm the only person to win more than one individual immunity challenge, let alone three. i've got a reputation now as a challenge beast, whether i like it or not. and, everyone knows that i've had quite the fucking story arc throughout the game. if people don't see me as a threat to win, then they aren't looking, so i might need to keep winning just in case.

however, i can't bank on immunity wins. this is a really precarious time to piss off a third of the people in the game when all it would take is three votes to get me out. kat says that julia is 100% with her, would not vote me out if kat said not to, but i'm not sold on the idea of kat being julia's keeper. julia is not the sort of girl to just follow directions and fall into line. she can win this game if she plays her cards right, and i really don't think i'm someone she wants to be up against in the finals. kat can tell me otherwise until she's blue in the face, but i don't feel confident that julia would not flip to vote me out next round.

if i just let this round go smoothly, julia leaves. the final 5 is myself, spencer, james, and marisa. kat wants to work with me, spencer wants to work with me. james came to me tonight and told me he wants to stir things up next round and vote out one of his original tribemates. i don't need to piss people off to keep my chances in this game strong. i understand kat wanting me to flip, because she just took a huge fucking risk in flipping last round, but i don't need to flip and i think she knows that.

i don't know. all signs point to vote julia but i also don't want to just piss all over the sacrifice kat made over her faith in me. BUT I ALSO WANT TO ENSURE MY SUCCESS IN THIS GAME BECAUSE I HAVE COME TOO FUCKING FAR TO ENDANGER MYSELF NOW. rip my sanity

also i might be voting spencer out next round lol stay tuned