Okay I'm really fucking torn here.
We had James tell Kat he wants to vote with them, and he "confided" in her that I have the idol, to give us an inner look into what they're doing. Supposedly they bought it, blah blah blah, and Kat told James that they're voting Spencer so now our group of four is saying to idol Spencer.
MY thinking is...why would they tell James the truth? They don't need his vote, and he hasn't been working with them closely this whole time obviously since he voted wrong this past vote, so why would they suddenly trust him with their plan? I think that Kat is a sneaky enough bitch to assume that James is going to run back to us and tell us what she said so that I'll idol Spencer while they actually vote me. And it doesn't matter if James actually votes with them or not, they have the majority so what do they care.
James said that he told Kat that Dana and I are voting Julia, and he and Spencer are voting Kat. It's very possible that James didn't tell her that, but instead told her the truth, which is that we are all voting for Caleb. James honestly has no good reason to stay with us except for sentimentality, we're obviously a sinking ship and he's not really the type to make deep emotional bonds I don't think. He could be playing both sides because it really doesn't matter for him either way. OR, Kat or someone has an idol. When I "confided" in Caleb that I had an idol, without telling him HOW I got it, his response was "Oh really?? Off the grid? That's amazing." Which sounded SUPER fake, like he knew that I could not have gotten one off the grid because he knew who did. I told him no, Dana gave me her half, and his response was "Oh".
SO I may play the idol on myself instead of Spencer like I told everyone I would. I'm just so fucking sick of my game coming down to Kat. Kat fucked us over hardcore last round, why would she not do that again? Like what would her motivation be? Either James is true to them and votes with them and has relayed their message so that we play the idol how they want, or James doesn't vote with them but has relayed their message so that we play the idol how they want. It's win-win for them so why risk telling him their true target? Him going to them now must look so transparent to them, right...?
If I play the idol on myself and they HAVE actually voted for me, I will have saved my alliance and sent home Caleb. If I'd insisted on not trusting Kat last time then Jonny would still be here.
If I play the idol on myself and they have actually voted for Spencer like they said, then my best friend goes home and Dana and James hate me. But I survive another round. And maybe someone from Caleb's alliance would want to use me for a move because they'd know my alliance hates me. If it was anyone else but Spencer this would be a much easier decision. But I know that as it stands right now, I don't have a chance at winning this game, and I believe that Spencer does. If I send him, someone who has a chance, home over myself, someone who will not win, I will be heartbroken. He's played his ass off this game.
If I play the idol on Spencer and they have actually voted for me, then I leave and either Spencer or Dana leaves next. They will have voted for Caleb again and Caleb most definitely isn't going to trust them after that. No one hates me. Except for Caleb but whatever I'm out anyway.
If I play the idol on Spencer and they actually voted for Spencer, then everyone loves me and Caleb goes home.
I just... I don't think it's as easy as it seems. I don't think Kat would have come right out with their plan to James within minutes of him messaging her. I think she thinks we're stupid. Unless they're double bluffing? And she thinks that we'll assume that she's lying. God this is so frustrating, it's just a 50/50 shot. I honestly kind of think I need to play it on myself. Because I truly and honestly believe it's the right thing for my alliance. But... I don't know. There's still nearly two hours left until the deadline, and I haven't talked to Caleb yet because he disappeared and I'm sure he'll pop up right before 10 and fuck with my head. Although he said he'd be here all day and isn't, which is what happened when they voted Jonny, he dodged me all day.
Fuck fuck fuck. Whatever happens, I'm pretty sure I'm not telling anyone what my decision is before the vote, not even Spencer.
Editing to add this convo with Spencer, as a prime example of why I love him so much. He said this without me even telling him I was thinking of playing it on myself. I still don't know what to do but damn I love this guy.
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Marisa Calihan
I don't think they're voting for you
6:19 PM Spencer
play it for yourself then
6:19 PM Spencer
!
6:19 PM Marisa Calihan
yeah well that's going to piss everyone off and what if i'm wrong?
6:19 PM Spencer
hahaha
6:19 PM Spencer
it's a 50/50 chance
6:20 PM Marisa Calihan
we have nothing to go off of except for kat and that's literally what happened last round
6:19 PM Spencer
no one is going to be mad
6:19 PM Spencer
i wont be
6:21 PM Spencer
trust your instincts |
