ok so like

i can't be SUPER crushed that reynold just left, because we literally never spoke at all once ever, and i've been trying to stay way the fuck in my lane for the sake of keeping a low profile and appeasing my allies, but like

i don't really get how that was a smart decision for kat and sydney when they could literally have taken caleb out right there and axed someone blatantly central to the power structure of the game

and by kat, i mean sydney, because sydney has morphed into some powerhungry shebeast serving me the worst abi-maria gomes teas one could think to cook up

it's hilarious to me that four people just burned challenge advantages for absolutely no goddamn reason. i'm dying. it didn't even slightly end up affecting results because Ozato still would have won, we still would have lost. AND ABOUT THAT SHIT

i'm super pissed that i was the only one on my tribe to complete the challenge both correctly and in a vaguely timely fashion. TWO DNFS because people couldn't correctly check their fucking posts when i was sitting here with a notebook frantically crossing off every post i made. james took an HOUR oh my god how did he take an hour i'm absolutely losing my mind

so now we're at tribal and i'm pissed because now i have to make a difficult choice. i would like to vote for matty, because i've spent five rounds on a tribe with him and i've yet to receive a single message from him. gervase and brad will probably want to vote for james, because they voted against him last round and they seem to see original Ki as the biggest threat. i do not want to vote for james, because i want to work with members of original ki, and kat basically wants me to vote for anyone BUT james.

i might have to cut gervase or brad here, preferably brad. initially, i had been thinking i would vote with them regardless, but the more i think about it, the more potentially disastrous that could be for my game. by voting matty or james with gervase and brad, i essentially isolate myself into a minority group at merge and i lose the bits of trust i worked my ass off to accumulate on Sakai #2. assuming gervase and brad push james, i lose someone who could be an instrumental ally as the game progresses. i'm also lowkey paranoid about matty pulling out an idol because that sounds like a thing that would happen to me. by voting gervase or brad, the only person i actually piss off is whoever stays, and they're both drawing dead right now so they can't really do anything except cling to anyone who gives them an option to cling to, and i can still give them that. i build trust with james, i prove to a lot of people that i don't give a fuck about original factions despite my second tribe being absolutely ruled by them, and i actually gain overall traction in the game.

i just really need to fucking talk to james because this was the conclusion i came to by the time i got home and i need him to validate my line of thinking before i commit to it. this was a good start though:

James Clement (12:15:55 AM): [Offline IM sent 2h and 30m ago] I'm sorry that we keep missing each other. I think that our schedules are a bit different...and we haven't been able to connect. I have really wanted to chat with you and see what you were thinking about the game and all. And now that we've lost the challenge and have to vote someone out, it is even more pressing. I obviously would like to stay in the game, and you are someone that I keep hearing great things about from some of the other players. Even though we haven't talked yet, I think that there are things in the game that we can do.

CHILLS TBH

BASICALLY i think the way i can achieve success in this game is by not making waves, but setting myself up to turn the tides in my favor

Dana Lambert (12:16:16 AM): Hey!
Brad Virata (12:48:15 AM): What's up!
Dana Lambert (12:48:46 AM): Not too much, got home from work a little bit ago and now I'm watching RuPaul's Drag Race hahaha
Brad Virata (2:18:27 AM): Ohh nice haha

just check those fucking timestamps

see, brad just blows past any attempt at personal conversation every time i talk to him and launches straight into game talk. that's always something that makes me anxious

okay never mind apparently it might be an easy vote on matty

although i'm lowkey nervous he could pull out an idol lmao

http://imgur.com/a/54ZEV

i still have no idea what i'm doing and i have to go to work so i made some parchments lmao

i'm so paranoid that i'm about to get idoled out even though it's SUPER unlikely. i was also paranoid i'm getting blindsided by gerv/brad but i think james would be looped in and he's too enthusiastic about me to be voting me