This is how I feel. I feel exhausted, I feel frustrated, I feel embarrassed, I feel foolish. Now I will admit I didn't expect something so illustrious and complicated as what happened at tribal. But given how paranoid and stupid these people are I guess it is not surprising. I figured when I constantly was brushed off when I asked what would happen if Dana played her idol that there were probably votes spread out on either Sash or I, but I did not expect Dana to actually pull out an idol, and when she did I did not expect that both Sash and I got so many votes. In the end Sash left thanks to Julia playing a double vote. Apparently it was meant to be me because I was also expected to have an idol however Julia's paranoia that Dana wasn't voting for Sash saved me.

So really I just felt like flipping them all the bird and going to bed. In my 50 years of working (yes I was selling extra nutrients to my twin brother in the womb) I have never felt so disrespected and unappreciated. I felt as if I was a child put in a play place left alone. I tried to play the game but I was really just jumping around in a small cage while the adults decided the fate. It is immensely discouraging and really taking its toll on me. Part of me wants to give up and go home because it will be easier just not to worry about it.

But that is not what is going to happen. I am here to fight. I am here to win. I am ready to put on my big girl pants and storm back into the game. Get back in their good graces, get on their good side. Gain their trust and slit their throats!

Of course that didn't go well at first. I chewed out Julia and Caleb. Caleb is the most delusional person. He could not understand why him saying 'I was going to vote Dana' is not an acceptable excuse. He doesn't understand that it was who is going to go if it isn't going to be Dana that is getting me annoying. But these are the people that I have to work with because Fairplay and Matty aren't talking strategy to me. Just an irritating situation.

There is a shimmer of hope. Sash will send someone to the floating island and hopefully that will be me. When I am there I can get a mutiny and switch tribes. I really wanted to start fresh with this new tribe and move on from Butch and the boys but they gave me no choice other than to go back to the people who actually treat me like a human being. It probably won't hurt them. I'll mutiny for a round and then there will be a swap or something that will bring me back to them but on the off chance it does I will be so happy with myself.

In regards to Sash, I was a little negative on him at the start but he is truly someone I feel lucky to have met. He is a great guy and I loved working with him. Thank you for being my co-worker Sash.

I will be the sole inhabitant of a floating island for the second time in my life. Well wait a second... I guess third time in my life.

I have been kicked when I am down. The tragic story of Debbie continues. To describe how I feel right now, I will use a parable.

Once upon a time a child leaves home for the first time. He is going to get a job because his parents are trying to support him but they just can't. He goes off to a new city to get a job but is met with rejection. He pleads with the store owners who either reject him or turn him away. He goes to bed every night knowing he once again failed and is not in control of his own destiny. He finds a bus ticket home on the ground and decides to return home. Instead of being greeted by parents who love him and missed him he is told to return to the city and try again.

I was told no by the Aso boys about mutinying. It makes sense, don't want to be a four person juggernaut alliance but it was still pretty frustrating. I was willing to go the majority tribe so you guys could stick together and now I have been abused for two rounds and you tell me that you don't need me. It kind of solidifies my approach that it is everyone for themselves. As Lil' Boosie and I sung on our duet, I am I N D E P E N D E N T do you know what that means? I got my own house, I got my own car, I got my own cares and I don't have no loyalty to Aso no mo.

On top of that apparently Spencer and Fairplay are talking to Butch about strategy. Hello boys, Butch can't do jack shit from the other side of the island. I am here. It just comes down to respect. And I am not respected. I am a smart independent women and these boys are sexist pigs. If we lose this challenge I am going to be the good housewife that I am expected to be and air everyone's dirty laundry. Mark my words.

I know I said this last round. But I am really going balls to the wall this round. Immediately after we lost the challenge. I told Spencer I want to vote out Caleb. Part of the reason was because I can't stand Caleb. I can't tell if he thinks I am stupid, or if he himself is just stupid. He also blew the challenge so that is fair. As a former host of the weakest link I would have sent him off the show as the "weakest link" after his miserable challenge performance. Not only did he miss the password, he was constantly behind and asking questions which slowed the challenge down.

The other reason I threw his name out there was because if Spencer told Caleb that I had brought his name up there is no way that Caleb would just bite his tongue and sit quietly. I have a challenge advantage that I promised to give Caleb if I survived this round and he is going to be really confused why I am trying to get him voted off like he was confused why I didn't just give him the advantage and then not expect anything in return. Maybe I am being a Caleb and underestimating him. But I think there is more intelligence in my ant farm.

While I absolutely hate that Spencer and Fairplay went to Butch, at least I know where to start.

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Eliza Orlins Omg Debbie that was a great thing to see after class 😂 Unfortunately it really wouldn't be good for my game to go against the majority. I'm sure you understand that. I just want you to know that everything I've seen from you has been absolutely hilarious and if it wouldn't pit me against 6 people I'd want to work with you in a heartbeat

Get in line.

Debbie you are a queen. Please tell me you have experience being a female monarch as well!!

I was never a monarch per say. I was an emperor of a small nation though. Now I know what you are thinking, aren't women called emperess. Well in most cases yes, but in the nation I was ruling the feminine version of the word had yet to be translated. I treated my followers fair and kind and always listened to their suggestions. Unrelated the nation fell shortly into my reign. Taken over by Madagascar and those NY Zoo Animals. They made a movie loosely based on the story.

So here is the plan. Sorry for the short explanation I am on my phone. I am going to Ki (Spencer, Marisa, FairPlay) with a plan to get out Caleb. If I feel like that isn't going to work, I am going to switch gears and spill the beans to Caleb and Julia about Ki and Aso working together. Hopefully it doesn't come to that but like as my former hairdressing client Vin Diesel always says. You've got to put the pedal to the metal.

I have thankfully never had to use this but... Plan B here I come

I just sold out Butch's Ki and Aso plan to Julia in hopes to stay. So even if it is not enough to stay in the game. It is a big screw you back to the middle finger the boys of Aso gave me this round.

I am probably doing more harm then helping myself with my in your face approach to trying to stay in the game but I cannot sit back and trust they'll want to keep Dana in over me.

And my game is over. Julia told Ki and now everyone hates me.

Debbie Wanner @ 6/4/2016 14:01

And my game is over. Julia told Ki and now everyone hates me.

I still love you. <3

I also still love you