I PROMISE I'm a very positive and uplifting guy...but these people, man...

In this thread, I will pick apart little by little the astounding cheesiness and cringe-worthiness of everything occurring in the Meet and Greet thread.

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Hi everybody! My name is Sugar Kiper, and I am so so so excited to be part of this game! I just got done with my latest stint on Celebrity Rehab and Dr. Drew thinks this will be a great way to sober up so I'd like to thank all of you for being here for me. Let's have so much fun!

Everyday, run-of-the-mill cheesy meet-and-greet opening line

Cheese Score: 6/10

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Yay Sugar! Let's celebrate by having a drink! Tequila?

Relatively harmless. No complaints on my end

Cheese Score: 3/10

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I'm more of a vodka girl. Do you have any? Production took away my flask once they realized it wasn't empty but I still got that baggie of Oxy I smuggled in. I'll just need a cleaner bag to dump them into because I don't think anybody will want to take pills out of the bag I brought after they realized how I smuggled it in. Wtf

The ollllle "I smuggled things in via my anus" gag. Cheesy, but not poorly done

Cheese Score: 6/10

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Sugar hun, if you find some vodka, I'd be more than happy to split it with ya! <3 Only Skinnygirl vodka though, I can't lose my figure

Sydney, immediately regretting picking an alias with exactly 0 distinctive traits (what season was she on, again?) decides to join in on the fun with a line about being skinny because that's all she has to work with.

Also, everyone still loves drinking. Yay drinking.

Cheese Score: 5/10

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Dayum haha we went 0-100 real quick! My name is Michele Smile I heard "tequila" and then "vodka" and thought you were calling me over! Sugar, ain't nothin wrong with stashin oxy's in your cooch hunty! Pass em this way!

WHO TALKS LIKE THIS. WHAT IS A COOCH HUNTY. IS THAT A TYPO OR SOME NEW VAGINA EUPHEMISM. I AM IRRATIONALLY ANGRY. I AM BUTCH AND I TALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON ALL THE TIME.

Cheese Score: 8/10

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oh my

Same, Kat. Same. I like Kat already. Go figure.

Cheese Score: 1/10

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It's a partyyyyyyy! Hi everyone, my name is Brad, and I would love to be your fabulous GBF! Side note, Host Woo, you looking mighty fine there. Posted Image I know a great recipe for chocolate covered bananas ;], you supply the banana and I'll give you the chocolate.

Oh dear heck.

Cheese Score: 10/10

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Hi! I'm Baylor! My mom doesn't like it when I drink without her... but I'm sure she'll forgive me if this even makes it to air. Pour me up!

Mildly cheesy due to weak-sauce Baylor joke, but altogether harmless

Cheese Score: 4/10

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Hello drunks, I'm Tom. I see we already have another Survivor winner here in the form of Michele.

In what world, Tom, in what world. Why do people think Michele is going to win, she hasn't done jack-squat. Michele is the worst.

Cheese Score: 7/10

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As long as we tell Dr. Drew that we pray every night for the good lord to keep us sober then he'll trust us out here on the island for thirty nine days. Where are we, like, Japan? I watched a documentary about Japanese dolphin poachers once and I'd just like to say I'm TOTALLY against production giving this country money to film here. I cried for five days straight after watching what happened to those poor dolphins.

I hate u

Cheese Score: 7/10

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Hi everyone Smile I'm not quite old enough to drink, but you can pass over those oxys sug, there's no age limit on those.

Tolerable

Cheese Score: 5/10

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I'm Butch and I'll have a cherry coke, please.

Oh wow, tasteful yet clever and original, way to go Butch, MVP of the Meet and Greet thus far.

Cheese Score: N/A

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The fact that our names are all lower-case is going to slowly drive me insane. Anyone need more firewood?

"SLOWLY DRIVE ME INSANE"..."NEED MORE FIREWOOD"...OH I GET IT IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IM BUTCH NICE GOING YOU UNIMAGINATIVE FUCK

that's probably the last time I use caps lock or say "fuck" this whole game. I think I'm in a mood. i hope this thread doesn't count towards my edgic.