I've started and abandoned two separate confessional entries because I was trying to write them but shit changed too fast and they were then too outdated to bother posting so I told myself I'd recap it all after things settled down but SHIT NEVER SETTLES DOWN.

That vote was stupid complicated and it's mostly Caleb's fault. Caleb has this HORRIBLE habit of barging in to the group chat after the group has come to a decision about something and being like "NO LET'S DO THIS INSTEAD EVERYONE WE NEED TO DO THIS GUYS DO THIS WITH ME HEY IT REALLY NEEDS TO BE THIS THING I'M SAYING WHICH YOU HAVE IN NO WAY DISCUSSED PRIOR TO RIGHT NOW." Like his timing is so precise and his whims are so bizarre that half the time I'm seriously wondering if he's trolling us. The first vote we were all together at, we all decided the vote was going to be I think Dana? I don't even remember now and it was like two days ago, that's how bad it is. Anyway, we'd come to a consensus then he signed on and literally immediately said "CAN WE VOTE OUT DEBBIE I DON'T LIKE HER PICTURE". What the fuck? And then he wouldn't take no for an answer. He campaigned all the live-long fucking day about it and nobody else wanted to do it because it really didn't seem to make much sense at the time. Like he had no other reason besides "IDK I THINK SHE'S A THREAT". And then the vote shifted onto Sugar and he still was all "DEBBIE MUST DIEEEE" and we were all so annoyed and confused about it. And this went for seriously an entire day until it was getting down to the deadline and Spencer finally was a fucking god and said "HEY I voted Sugar and I'm going to bed now bye", so then we all had to vote Sugar. It was amazing.

By the way I have no real feelings about Sugar leaving except that I felt like I talked to her but she was extraordinarily annoying because she just WOULD NOT shut up, but not about interesting stuff, it was all hypothetical like "TELL ME WHY YOU'RE EXCITING MARISA, BUT MAKE IT UP! BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE IT UP BECAUSE YOU'RE EXCITING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!" That was literally a conversation we had. She gave me a headache. Then she wrote everyone these long messages about how hurt she was by their betrayal but that they have what it takes to win and human being blah blah blah and mine was just like "Bye Marisa be nice". kthxbai

So then that takes us to the shit show that was tonight. For the amount of stress and anxiety and fury and bullshitting involved in this vote it went remarkably smoothly. Like almost frustratingly smoothly. ALMOST AS IF IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THAT FUCKING COMPLICATED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ENTER CALEB.

I can't even remember what consensus we had come to, to be honest. I think it was splitting the vote Dana/Sash? And then Caleb came in and wanted to do Debbie or something. I don't actually remember, because the vote was already chaotic and there was so much time left before the deadline that I kind of checked out and waited until it got closer to become involved because I knew it was going to change a million more times. Also I was just really generally confused for a lot of it. :P But he barged in wanting to do SOMETHING the opposite of what EVERYONE else had JUST agreed to. And Spencer, Jonny and I were just like THIS FUCKING GUY. So they all spent hours deciding if they should split it between Dana and Deb or Dana and Sash. Or just go Deb and Sash. It was decided that Spencer/Jonny/Me would vote Debbie, and then the others were going to vote either Sash or Dana, and that was the part that took hours.

Meanwhile Caleb had added me to the group chat of an alliance that Debbie started, the Outliers alliance-- Deb/Sash/Caleb/Julia, and then eventually me. So Deb and Sash thought that the five of us were voting for Dana. Then Julia says this:

Quote

3:35 PM Julia are we voting Dana? 3:35 PM Sash Lenahan yeah 3:35 PM Julia pls don't idol us out w Dana ;X lol 3:36 PM Debbie Wanner i thought she didn't have an idol

I like, died. I don't know if Julia slipped up or she actually meant the next part, but she covered with:

Quote

3:37 PM Julia I mean anyone could have one I was more so talking about you all 3:37 PM Julia you could have one too :P 3:37 PM Julia Deb's bag of idols

Julia didn't seem super concerned about it though, so I don't know, maybe she really did mean it as a joke. BUT THEN CALEB.

Quote

4:23 Caleb Has anyone said anything? 4:23 PM Debbie Wanner everyone told me 4:23 PM Debbie Wanner Dana 4:24 PM Debbie Wanner and we are 100% sure she doesn't have an idol? 4:24 PM Caleb She told me she did but she could be lying?

WHAT WHY

At this point Julia and I were chatting to each other like what the FUCK is he doing

Quote

Debbie Wanner didn't someone use a spyglass? 4:24 PM Debbie Wanner if she does shouldn't we make it so Sash doesn't go home 4:24 PM Caleb I don't know, that's what she told me when I went on lunch 4:25 PM Caleb I don't think she'd use her idol. Honestly. 4:25 PM Caleb If she even really has one. 4:25 PM Debbie Wanner she's convinced that Sash is going home? 4:25 PM Caleb Who is??? 4:25 PM Caleb I only talked to Dana when I went on lunch. 4:25 PM Debbie Wanner Dana, why wouldn't she use her idol 4:26 PM Caleb And she just said she's voting Dana. 4:26 PM Caleb I think that she may feel that because she "has" the idol that maybe she wouldn't get votes. 4:26 PM Caleb So I still think it's best to vote her out. I rly don't think she'd use it. 4:26 PM Julia I thought she didn't have it 4:26 PM Caleb If you guys wanna do something else then fine? 4:26 PM Caleb She told me she did but she could be lying. 4:27 PM Caleb And ahe told me that someone used a Spyglass on her 4:27 PM Debbie Wanner but didn't someone use a spyglass on her? 4:27 PM Debbie Wanner I was told by Spencer that Jefra did. 4:27 PM Sash Lenahan im here 4:28 PM Caleb Okay that I didn't know. 4:28 PM Caleb I didn't get to talk to jefra today. 4:29 PM Caleb So what are we doing? Now I am Starting to get nervous -

And then, the icing on top of the cake... CALEB WRITES IN THE WRONG CHAT

Quote

4:45 PM Caleb This vote is going to be 3-3-3? 4:45 PM Sash Lenahan what? 4:45 PM Debbie Wanner well if all five of us voted Dana then it won't be 4:45 PM Caleb I am so confused on this vote 4:46 PM Caleb Are we all voting for Dana still?

Julia and I were dying. I was also flipping out to Spencer simultaneously. Caleb tried to pass it off by being like OMG I'M SO CONFUSED LOLOLOL WHAT A DITZ and apparently somehow... IT WORKED. Like I feel bad for lying to Deb but if after ALL those things happened and they STILL weren't tipped off that something was wrong then I mean... did you not have it coming? :/ I said I was going to be shocked if they didn't change it up and do something else. They should have gone after Caleb to be honest, he was cocky enough to not play his idol, they could have improved the game for everybody. :P

Speaking of Caleb, I've been working on my relationship with him. I guess he was a little uncertain about me yesterday, according to Spencer. Which I feel like is maybe kind of fair, I find him a little hard to talk to, he doesn't always come across as the most genuine person. :P So Spencer thought it'd be a good idea for me to get into the Outliers alliance that Caleb had told Spencer about, so I decided to appeal to Caleb's ego a little bit to get in with him.

Quote

Apr 3, 2016 5:39 PM Caleb but yeah if you want me to add you Apr 3, 2016 5:39 PM Caleb i will Apr 3, 2016 5:48 PM Marisa Calihan I'd love to be part of anything you're part of :) Apr 3, 2016 5:49 PM Marisa Calihan You're always super nice to me :) Apr 3, 2016 5:56 PM Caleb ok ill brig it up Apr 3, 2016 6:02 PM Caleb and honesty l Apr 3, 2016 6:02 PM Caleb i adore you thats why Apr 3, 2016 6:05 PM Marisa Calihan Aww you're so sweet :) Apr 3, 2016 6:05 PM Marisa Calihan I think you're fantastic tbh Apr 3, 2016 6:34 PM Caleb do you really???? Apr 3, 2016 6:34 PM Caleb OMG Apr 3, 2016 6:34 PM Caleb I am blushing Apr 3, 2016 6:36 PM Marisa Calihan Hahaha yeah of course I do, can you not tell? Apr 3, 2016 6:36 PM Caleb I can tell :) Apr 3, 2016 6:36 PM Caleb I just honestly haven't had the best luck finding people that like me in the past Apr 3, 2016 6:38 PM Marisa Calihan Haha no way, you must just be modest :P Apr 3, 2016 6:38 PM Marisa Calihan I feel like everyone here always says a bunch of good stuff about you Apr 3, 2016 6:40 PM Caleb really omg Apr 3, 2016 6:40 PM Caleb no way Apr 3, 2016 6:41 PM Marisa Calihan Seriously?? Of course they do Apr 3, 2016 6:41 PM Marisa Calihan I keep hearing that you're really trustworthy and social and good at challenges Apr 3, 2016 6:44 PM Caleb omg Apr 3, 2016 6:44 PM Caleb thats so nice Apr 3, 2016 6:44 PM Caleb i am very trustworthy Apr 3, 2016 6:44 PM Caleb which i feel like people don't appreciate int he past Apr 3, 2016 6:44 PM Caleb but i feel like you guys od Apr 3, 2016 6:44 PMCaleb and yes social :)

No one has ever told me those things about Caleb btw. :P Spencer messaged me today with this:

Quote

8:19 AM Spencer omg caleb is like 8:19 AM Spencer Caleb Reynolds I love Marisa :x 8:20 AM Spencer what kinda witch are you!

And now Caleb keeps telling me he loves me and stuff so I think playing the dumb flirty girl is working. :P Although he didn't tell me about his idol and he didn't tell me about Julia's doubler. But that's fine, I really feel like I need to lay low right now. In Atlantis I think I may have been too visible, especially being on the wrong side of the very first vote. I want to be seen as involved, but not in the middle of all the scheming. So hopefully more neutral? The trick will be not being too fucking boring that nobody would vote for me to win. And I feel like that's maybe a legit danger, I do feel like I haven't been at my best socially with nuSakai (as evidenced by my confessional from the other day :P). I just have the hardest time forcing myself to converse with people that I have to absolutely drag conversation out of. I know it's a weak point of mine, I'm working on it.

So where to go from here? Don't know yet. But I would be ecstatic to vote out Caleb. :P

:')

this confessional was like a caleb diss track

YOU CAN BLAME CHELSEA FOR MY CAPITALS

Marisa @ 5/4/2016 13:16

YOU CAN BLAME CHELSEA FOR MY CAPITALS

RUDE T B H

:heart:

I love this.

yuck gross get a room

Sorry already in one with Woo, so

Marisa @ 6/4/2016 0:59

Sorry already in one with Woo, so

with Woo and So? Someone can't get enough of the Asian sensation.

Ummm So BETTER get out of Woo's and my room, I already told that bitch once