FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

We guessed wrong. Marisa played the idol on herself. I started getting a little suspicious when Spencer seemed cocky... We should have changed our votes. Hindsight is 20/20... I lost the one person I know would have protected me no matter what happened, even before he protected himself. I miss Caleb already.

So we're even numbers again. And I have absolutely no doubts in any of the people I'm aligned with. None of them are flipping. And I highly doubt anybody in the other alliance is flipping either.

I'm almost entirely certain this round is going to end in rocks. The rest of this game is going to be decided by whoever draws a different coloured rock.

I don't like that. But there's no way in hell I'm flipping. I'm willing to risk everything just to get this. If I can get some sort of advantage to play, that would be glorious... Maybe a challenge advantage. Something to make sure that my alliance has less people to vote for. And then less to draw rocks.

For the first time, I want them to vote for me if I don't get immunity. It's the safest place to be. At least I wouldn't have to draw a rock.

I'm dreading this. I just want to get through this round.

I want to be cocky again. I want to know I have this in the bag.

We won't know anything until we see who pulls out the purple rock.

With this double tribal, I'm definitely at risk. A few tribals ago they were splitting between Caleb and I... Now Caleb is gone.

So there's nobody to block the votes coming at me.

I need to win this challenge, or else I'm very certain I'll be going home next.

Unless there could be a 4 way tie... I'm not sure how they'd handle that. Our alliance would put 4 votes on one person and 4 on another, and their alliance would do the same.

It's something for me to think about. It might be my best chance.

I spent nine hours of my life posting pictures of balls.

Nine. Hours.

please ignore the picture quality

And I might not even win. Dana will probably go for 9 hours and 5 minutes or something. Just to rub salt in my wounds.

I know I need this immunity. I feel crazy after nine hours of this challenge. But I honestly believe I'm not crazy enough.

I love this game.

But I hate it so much.

Of course I didn't win. I'm not surprised.

Assuming everybody stays loyal, this vote will be going to rocks. Hopefully the alliances come out even. And hopefully Julia and I both get votes so we're immune from the draw. It all depends on what the other alliance is thinking right now.

Once again, this vote decides the rest of the game. I know I've said that at almost every tribal since the merge. And I'm going to keep saying it until I'm right. Hopefully I get that opportunity...

For the first time, I'm really questioning if I'll be here for the next vote.

Thanks Kim 😊❤️

The rest of my time in this game - however long that my be - will be spent fighting for every second.

It's coming down to luck. I have to hope I don't end up with a purple rock in my hand after tribal.

I have a feeling that the other alliance will be voting for either Sydney and Kat, or Julia and I. Ideally, it would be Julia and I to make us immune during the rock draw, but I don't think that's going to happen.

I think Julia and I will be drawing rocks.

We could potentially both go home. One of us definitely would. We can only hope that somebody from the other alliance would as well.

The best case scenario right now is coming out of this at even numbers with the other alliance. And I think the next vote would end up with rocks as well. This has been a ridiculous past few votes, and, if I stick around, the next few will be as well.

Do I want my game to come down to that? No. But it would be a death sentence to flip on my alliance. I'm not going to win challenges and earn myself a spot in the finals.

I have to play smart.

And right now, smart is putting my fate in luck's hands.