Hey there Marisa,

I'll try to answer your questions as best as I can...

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My first question for you is more of a statement that I'm looking for your comments on, and that would be that there were times I marveled at how uninvested you sometimes seemed. For example, before the Jonny vote and before my idol play, two HUGE important votes, both times you left two minutes before the vote read, once to watch television and once to go hiking. There were a few other examples like that but those are the two that come to mind. It's really hard for me to understand how you could not want to be there with us, stomach in knots and SUPER nervous that everything was going to blow up in our faces and also excited for it to maybe go right. I was surprised that you weren't DYING to see how these things played out, like the rest of us were, and lacked the passion of your opponents. I felt like you were here and you liked it fine but were not really in the trenches with us and it was seemingly by choice. In the end it cost me my game, when you decided to sign off an hour before deadline and promised to be back ten minutes before it so we could move the votes onto Julia if need be. Well, we DID need to, but you signed on at deadline on the dot so we were unable to do anything. It's frustrating for me to be here knowing that if you'd just come back, or not left at all, that we could have at LEAST forced a tie. It's difficult to be angry with you because you are super sweet and pleasant like everyone knows and has always known, and it's also difficult to feel like my leaving could have been avoided and was partially due to one of my closest allies.

This is literally the first time that I heard about any of this...I didn't realize that my absence had anything to do with you being voted out. If that is the case, then I am very sorry. Had I been aware of this, I would have done what I needed to do to make sure that things were different. Again, if you are on the jury because of me, I am sorry. That is the furthest thing from what I wanted.
It is true though. I did not put as much time into this game as many of you did. I wanted to, but it had to take a backseat to real life. Many of the times that I had to jump off, I had to make up excuses for what I was doing because I was afraid of giving too much personal information away. But, in fact...I tried to spend as much time with this game as I could because I felt that the hosts and you fellow players deserved that.
But this game had to take a back seat in many cases. I have my own reasons for that...but it was essential for me to play the game that way. In reality, I couldn't play the game that Spencer did because I simply did not have the time to devote to being in every conversation and being a part of everything at all times. I had to play the behind the scenes game because that is all that I could devote. I did as much as I could to protect myself at the beginning of the game, and to affect the moves that were being made at the end.
To be fair, I truly accomplished everything that I wanted to in this game. I wasn't the first boot. I made the merge. I made the jury. Had I been voted out and been part of the jury, I would have been thrilled. The abuse that I'm taking now is all gravy. Bitter dumpster gravy.

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My second question for you is, there were several points where we swore we'd go to rocks for each other. Would you have actually followed through on this?

Absolutely. Going to rocks is part of the experience. I was actually psyched with Julia flipped at 4 and tied the vote! More awesome Survivor shit! The more, the better! So, yes...rocks...yes.

But for now, it must be goodbye. For Mother's Day weekend my wife wanted to go camping in Shenandoah National Park, and so like much of my game...it appears I must be absent for this as well.
Thank you all for everything you did to make this game as much fun for me as possible. I hope that my presence in it made your games a bit better as well. I love you all, and I'm sorry if I said or did anything that makes it not seem that way. Have a great weekend...and I'll talk to you after. And friend me on Facebook! I gave Chelsea the link.

Now go outside!

And call your mothers. She misses you.