Welcome to my longest confessional in this game! It's late for me because I'm old. I've had a few beers so I'm particularly talky. I'm watching Big Brother Australia 2013, and Tim is inspiring me. I hope you all enjoy it!
Alright...so we lost the challenge. It seems like it was a failure all around. At least Dana finished. I would have been at around 12:30 had I not accidentally deleted one of my seconds. And it wouldn't have even mattered. My tribe really shit the bed on this one.
So what happens now? Well, typically on the last vote before merge or the start of jury, I overplay my hand in some way. It's happened a few times. I get to that point, and for some reason, have a difficult time making it over that hurdle to the next part of the game. I'm going to try my hardest to make sure that doesn't happen this time.
So, I have Brad saying that he wants to work with me. But I can't trust Brad, can I? He voted for me last time and seems to be rebelling against people in his former tribe.
I can't tell what's up with Gervase. He seems to want to stick with Brad, but I have a hard time seeing what he's doing behind the scenes.
Matty seems cool. I like him and would like to get both of us past this vote. He is on peoples lips, so that may not be an option.
Barely talked to Dana. I've tried, but it hasn't happened the way that I want it to. I need to see where her head is at with this vote.
So, here we go...I either make the jury and continue playing, knowing that I have a chance once I am back in a larger crowd and playing with some friends.
Or I get voted out tomorrow, and once again...let the game slip through my fingers.
Alright, this morning I am trying to get in with Dana and Matty.
Matty seems interested in working with me for the vote. I have a feeling that even though Brad and Gervase keep saying that they are with me, that they will actually be voting for me. That's my gut talking.
So, name of the game. Make sure that I am on the same page with Matty. Talk to Dana. Find out who she wants to vote for. Make sure Matty is on board.
I was pretty much waiting for Dana to jump on and tell me what she is doing. She said that she wants Matty to go. Both Gervase and Brad have told me that they are voting for Matty as well.
So...it looks like Matty is going home tonight.
Unless...
everyone is lying to me, and I am really the target. It wouldn't surprise me actually. I'm not very close with Matty or Dana up to this point, although I have expressed to Dana how much I would like to chat with her...It's been hard because our schedules don't line up.
Brad and Gervase both voted for me last time, and although I have tried to lower my threat level with them, I can't imagine that they have forgotten the way that Butch was sent home.
I am also starting to get that feeling. You know it. It's in my guts...deep down...a little voice telling me that my time in the game is up. I've felt this voice in the past, and it is usually right. I think that it is a mix of what is happening in the game...here, it's the quickly approaching jury and possible merge, and the feeling that I get from messages. I can't explain it. It's almost like the person you are messaging starts becoming short with you, almost dismissive. Less friendly maybe? Almost like they know that they won't be needing you anymore...so why bother.
I could be completely wrong. I could just be really paranoid right now. I hope that's the case. It'll suck to get this close to jury, and have to leave the game.
Here's hoping...
love, Matt
Post Edited by James Clement @ 12th Apr 2016 7:15:02 PM
