WELP.

So this entire challenge, I was relieved because it was something we could reliably beat Caryn in and finally send her home. She had no special advantage here and her robot skills couldn't trump us in simply betting $20. But of course, that didn't happen.

My original plan was to try and grab the immunity necklace and challenge advantage. With the decision being of the double boot, and the possibility of an idol being thrown back into the mix, I figured this was the best idea. If something got crazy it would be in these next two rounds, so if I gave myself some safety and a better shot at safety, I would have a good chance of surviving through it. Unfortunately, neither of those options panned out. I didn't have enough money to split between the two, and we all saw what happened with the immunity necklace...

As much as I was frustrated with my alliance about giving me money at the last minute, it ultimately wouldn't have mattered because the cut-off time was 8:50 and not 9PM like I had predicted. I had it planned out that Kelley vs Sue would go in my favor. I would be the one to bet $500 and I would be the one to have the final bet (unless she delayed her bets properly, which she didn't.)

And now we come to the vote. After I lost immunity I messaged Caryn to tell her "well played" in my peak of frustration but still trying to be a good sport about it. We exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before she dropped a bombshell on me. Apparently......... Erik approached Caryn about voting out Austin?!?! What the hell! Not only is this a ludicrous idea, but you approached someone on the opposite side of the game with the idea before myself? Sure, you probably aren't as close to me as I am predicting, but at least keep up the illusion, Erik. This was such a foolhardy move I couldn't believe it. Erik finally got around to talking to me later last night and I broke the ice saying Caryn spilled the beans. He laid out his concerns with our group of 6 and how he feels like we are at the bottom of it. So he would rather flip to the other side to be 2/5? It literally makes no sense unless he has other side deals going on. I'm not that naive, buddy.

I did my best to be polite about it, but I was honestly rather blunt about my opinion on this subject lol. I told Erik how I don't like it and it doesn't make sense. I did throw him a bone and said I was thinking about it, and we could reconvene after a night's sleep. But let's be honest here, I'm not going for that shit.

In other news, I'm getting much closer to Garrett these past few days. We've found a lot of subjects we have closely in common and it has helped us further strengthen our bond, which I am liking. He also approached me about us two working together closely in tandem. We talked about how amongst this six person group, we are sort of the "underdogs" or people at the bottom. Basically we like this group and should stick with it, but we certainly can't beat Yve/Sierra/Austin/Erik in the end. I hope he is being forthright about this, and not using be as a swing vote for when F6 comes around. If he is being truthful this is great! Garrett has done a great job at both being MOR but also pissing people off in the game and jury. I think I could swing a jury in my favour if it was myself vs. Garrett in the end.

That's about all of it for now folks. I'll try to push Erik off his plan later and probably push the vote onto Monica today. She's a bigger challenge threat and Sue is deadweight.

This round has me very uneasy. People had a hard time coming to a concise decision with this vote, and that worries me. With Erik talking about flipping and things I heard about Sierra possibly wanting me out, I'm definitely on edge. There was even talk of splitting it 3-3-3, but I know that would just open the door for someone to "mess up" their vote and send a specific someone home.

If it is me tonight... I will be very downtrodden. I feel like my journey in this game has yet to be completed, and will honestly be ashamed of my performance. I didn't give enough effort in the middle stages of the game and am facing the consequences for those actions now. I've tried my best to amp it up as of late, but overall I'm not satisfied with how my game will be viewed and reflected upon.

Give me a few more rounds to prove you wrong Survivor Gods.

Sierra just told me she had the idol... This makes me less worried.

1) Because that reduces the possibility that someone else has one

2) I doubt she would have told me that if she was voting me out

HE'S SUCH AN IDIOT!

Who?

Erik! I think it was Austin/Yve who voted with the others to get Erik out. Fairly confident it was because Erik went to Caryn/Monica with the idea to vote out Austin, when the plan didn't come forth (since they needed my vote and I wasn't for it) they went to Austin and told him Erik was gunning for him.

This caused Austin/Yve to flip and vote him out. If he wasn't so overzealous about turning on his own so early, he would still be in the game.

(At least this is what I think)