Hey guys, this is gonna be a mostly positive one!!!! Yaaay! :ecstatic: :ecstatic: :ecstatic: With the exception of the cast assessment, and a few individuals who have been pissing me off lately. I sometimes feel like I'm such a negative nellie in these damn things that I want to have a positive one!

To start off, I'm so glad that Rory left last week. Hearing more and more of what he tried to pull last week just made me super glad he's gone. He's a self-righteous, delusional player in this game and I'm glad I'm not saddled with working with him for the rest of the game, that's a giant relief for me. I also think that it really helped me out for him to go because two giant targets for my "side" are still in the game in the form of Caryn and Sue. Caryn is a challenge beast that everyone is afraid of, and charming to boot. And Sue is a target because Sierra/Erik are so blinded by their hatred of her that they aren't going to see anything coming this week.

In other news, the challenge this week was the auction! I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand, this is the worst round for the auction in terms of my game. If there's a bunch of like double votes, nullifiers, etc going around this round it could seriously fuck with my plan to flip. However, any worries I had are kind of nullified by how much fun this challenge has been so far <3. Last night was seriously the most fun I've had in this entire game. Why? Because of how awesome Sue, Monica, and Caryn were all being. I finally got a chance to talk with Sue, who is just a total troll in the best way possible. Caryn actually talked to me again, which was nice. And Monica and I rekindled our friendship in a big way, and she honestly made me laugh so much last night. I'll go more into these three during the rundown, but it was glorious and lots of laughs <3

As for my strategy in the challenge, I honestly just want me, Monica, Sue, Caryn, and Yve to get as many things as possible. And I want Erik specifically to get nothing. I don't care who wins immunity or about the decision really or the challenge advantage, but I want everything else to not be given to Garrett or Erik or Sierra or even Kelley. That's a headache I don't want. I also really want to win the white box because I want to actually have something in this game for once. I've been playing very passive and it's working quite well for me I think, and it's risky to start getting items that make me threatening but I don't even care. I just keep saying to myself: TREAT. YO. SELF!



Alright, let's do this rundown. I have thoughts on all these players (not Kelley lol) that need to be expressed. In alpha order:

: Caryn remains mostly a conundrum for me, but during the course of the past few days she has rebounded a bit for me. I still find her to very often be stilted and guarded more often than not, but I saw giant glimpses of the old Caryn that I loved from back in the day. We had a good little jokey rapport going last night during the challenge, in which she taunted me and tried to go for my white box and I was just like...back the fuck off. Otherwise, I've been enjoying Caryn a lot more lately. Monica seems convinced that she's actually not good at anything but challenges and while I can see that sort of, I'm just generally gonna remain alert about her. She's a smart player for sure, and Sierra and her have some kind of open relationship because they share a lot so I'll keep one eye open. Monica seems super sure that she'll flip with us, but if she doesn't and screw me I'll just have to live with. And I'd have been fucked anyways. I see her being a key player in the coming weeks.

: This fool. I've wanted him out since the Kim boot, and if things go my way this week he'll be gone this week. It's not anything person, I've always enjoyed talking with him and think he's a good guy. But that's why he has to go--he's a good guy. We fill similar niches in this game (the "nice guy") and of his "alliance" (I don't even know what going on with them anymore) he's the biggest long term threat. Where Sierra, Garrett, and Kelley all have huge flaws in their games that prevent them from being great--he could easily pull something off if he tried. And on top of all of this, he also refuses to talk to me one on one unless I start the conversation, which says to me he doesn't want to work with me. So he's gotta go. Yve prefers Sierra as a boot option, but I'll convince her otherwise. He needs to go this week.

: Remember all that stuff I said a few confessionals back about Garrett being an interesting, cool guy. I take it back, he's actually a giant asshole. For one, he's the horniest guy I've ever met. Everything with him is flirting, sexual talk, or bragging about hot guys he met on Grindr. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude or anything but when EVERY CONVO circles back around to this I just can't take it. He'll ask you something personal about yourself, and turn it into a humble brag about some hot guy he met or knows. Which peeves me to no end. On top of that, he's super insensitive. At least three times now he's condescendingly insulted me about my interest in movies, often right after I gave him a compliment about how cool it was he was in Model UN. That's just mean, keep it to youself. You don't need to agree with me liking movies, but being a sarcastic ass about it turns me off. Go away. STILL, he could be useful in the future because he did make a comment about wanting to keep Sue because it weakens Erik/Sierra. I don't know if he was trying to egg me on, but it intrigued me. I just don't want to have to put up with him anymore lol.

: Who? This girl is so infuriating. We have a good thing going, but then she decided she once again wants to disappear and only participate in a group chat. She has also never once started a convo with me unless it was challenge related. And I know it probably looks like I'm whining about all these people not starting convos with me but ....I START TOOOOONS. I'm probably the only person who starts convos half the time. Honestly, she's been so invisible that I'd probably want her gone after Erik at this point. With Sierra/Garrett I know all their moves and how to read them. She's such a blank slate.

: Ok we are BFFs again <3 lol! We have such an up and down relationship, Monica and I. I think we can both very easily tell when we are annoyed at one another and know how to give one another space, but somehow we also end up back together. Honestly, we're at a point where it's going to take working together for us to go deep in the game. I think if were to screw Monica at this point and vote her out or something, it would not be good long term. And same for her. There's so many people in this game that we have no control of influence on that we need to stay together and use our resources to work towards getting to the end. We need to get rid of these variables (I see them as Erik, Garrett, Sierra, and Kelley...the people we have no influence at all with), and united our resources to do so. In my heart of hearts I think she wants to stick together to the end with me, or at least until like Final Four/Five.

Alright, our plan: This week we are going to flip the vote and vote out (hopefully) Erik. If not him, probably Sierra to appease Yve but honestly it don't matter. It could be Kelley or Garrett I don't care too much. After that, we are going to form a tight five with Caryn and Sue. Monica seems very convinced that Sue and Caryn will stick with us and Pagong the 4 others, but I feel like at some point we are going to have to turn on Caryn, because if that girl gets to the end she wins. Against any of us. Ideally, the Final Four would be myself/Monica/Yve/Sue. This is all rough plans though at this point, and there's a lot of game left to play. I just think that this is our best plan because we have solid control (on some level) over those three other players in the five, and none really over the other four. So, we'll see. The auction could really fuck this up.

: She's been really annoying me lately, actually. She's the queen of asking for information and then not giving anything up when you ask her back. For example, she asked me if I had any deals with anyone and I said only Yve (everyone knows that at this point). Then I asked and she gave some bullshit dodging answer about "one person who I have an unspoken alliance with". And my reaction was just "fuck you". That's such bullshit that you expect me to give out names and everything and then you can't even say "yeah, Erik and I are in an alliance". Get the fuck out of here. And then on top of that, she's constantly paranoid and has taken the pity party flag from Rory. She's constantly talking about how scared she is and how she doesn't want to talk to me about it because she's so paranoid I might tell everyone. Like, how is this supposed to engender loyalty in me? Fuck off, when I flip on you I'm not even going to feel bad it about it because you've been such a condescending weirdo about everything. My favorite thing with her is to just play how much I love Katie (which I do), which immediately lights her up. I kinda can't wait to see her reaction when I flip <3

: LOLSUE. Such a little troll. We have a good little thing going these past 24 hours. We made a "chest alliance" in which we protect our chests and don't step into each other's territory. She's such a troll about literally everything, like how she will complement me and insult me at the same time. She told me she was jealous of my position because I'm such a "ponyboy" and that she wishes she could be a floater like me. Who says that LOL I'm not even mad, it just endears her to me more.

: I can't talk about her right now, I have no energy left. My next confessional sometime before the vote will be all about her and whatever ridiculous torture she's going to put me through trying to get this vote together. It's not gonna be fun, I'm telling you now. But she really seems open to it without even me having to push her, so I have hope. But again, I can't with her right now.

So I've got some scheming to do tonight, and it'll be fun. Hopefully I'll have a white box by the end of tonight too :D Is this my longest confessional ever? lol probably :D

Oh boy has a lot happened since that last confessional.

Let's start with the auction.......Fuck the auction. What pisses me off the most about the auction is not that I didn't get anything, it's just that the items all closed within like 2 hours of each other with the exception of like one thing. I stayed up all night and then worked hard all morning/afternoon under the assumption that items would be closing across the entire 24 hours. And what ended up happening was they all closed right when most EST people had best access to their computers and people like Yve, Monica, and I did not because you know....jobs. I'm not crying #ESTBias but...#ESTBias (: (: Nah, mostly I'm just being a whiner. Ultimately, I think it may be beneficial not to have any items in the future, so I'm fine with it. I just really really wanted to treat myself :erm: Also: fuck that cow. I'm considering voting for that stupid thing.

Anyways, that's all minor news. The big news of the week is....this week has somehow become something of a Nice Guy-Off, with Erik and I targeting one another. Two nice guys enter....one leaves. His name will be Austin ;) Anyways, the full story:

So as yesterday went on, I became more and more sure that flipping on these fools was the right thing. Yve agreed with surprisingly little fanfare, so it became about timing. After Caryn won the decision, it became clear to me in our conversation that it was the perfect time to ask her. She was seriously worried about her going, and was agonizing over which decision would be better for her. So I just said "fuck it, I'm not even gonna ask Yve, I'm just gonna go for it". Gotta take my own game in my own hands. So I just told her that I honestly had no intention of voting for her, and that Yve was totally on board with flipping the game around. Oh, how perfect that timing turned out to be. So Caryn agreed and got all giddy, and said that she was totally down and that Sue and Monica would also be down. I knew that she probably would be, since she's on the bottom and we were proposing a group of 5 in which she had "the majority".

About thirty minutes or so later, Caryn tells me that Erik has approached her about voting out guess who...little ol' me. Thus begins the Nice Guy-Off. Apparently he wants to pull a similar move to mine, where him and Kelley will join with Caryn/Sue/Monica. An also I'm a threat because "everyone loves me". Um, fuck yeah they do! ;) This is a bit of a laughable attempt to me, the fact that he's also apparently tried to frame it as him and Kelley on the bottom of our six person thing. Him and Sierra have been super tight since literally week one. He voted out a super close ally (Kim) in order to flip with her. They have been simpatico for like five votes. On what planet would someone think that HE was on the bottom. Like....wtf? I think that even had I not gone to Caryn first she still would have gone with Yve/I over him simply because it's been clear for awhile that Erik/Sierra are a big power duo and that Erik is the more long term threatening. Monica also says that apparently they wanted Erik out before even I was in the picture.

Anyways, after this it became very clear that I was totally right in wanting to flip this week, and that my fear of him was totally justified. Anyways, to speed things up Yve and I officially joined with the old lady trio making an alliance of "The Golden Girls....and Austin". Lol, I'm totally fine with being seen as the outsider of the quartet if that'll help me in the game. And I really really think that Monica knows she's can't let Caryn stick around long term, much less go to the end of the game with her. Sometimes Monica underestimates Caryn, which is not good. I'll keep one eye open on her. We all decided to vote Erik despite Yve's minor protests (she's so clueless...she thinks Sierra is the mastermind). So barring some crazy idol or immunity play, Erik will be leaving. I feel weirdly confident about the vote, simply because either it works or it's not going to. If this fails, I'm out of the game and oh well I tried. But logic (and Monica) are on my side in this case.

Anyways, your weekly "YVE IS PISSING ME OFF" update: She's freaking out because she won an immunity necklace, and has somehow made this whole vote about her. Her logic is that since Sierra gave her the key, she has to tell her the truth and that the target will be switched to her so she should play her immunity out of fear. But like...we have 5 votes. If you play the immunity necklace on yourself this week, then you run the risk of either alerting Erik's side that something is up and putting some kind of potential idol or weapon into play. OR you risk Caryn and Sue being like "why is Yve so scared :erm:...let's vote out Austin". So Yve....just shut up, play your immunity next week and guarantee yourself Top 6. Stop turning this into ~your~ dilemma when like...if you fuck this up, I go home! Not you! They don't give a shit about you this week! Just stop it. Also, she keeps freaking out being like "I don't trust Caryn/Sue". Which I get. But at the same time, WHAT CHOICE DO YOU FUCKING HAVE YVE. They are targeting me this week, your closest and only true ally. So you can't try doing some other move, it doesn't work that way. It's dumb. So yes, you don't have to trust them but stfu about it because I literally have no other options. Like...go away. Yve rant over.

Oh, one more ego-driven thing to add: I'm super peeved that Erik decided to vote me out because now this vote looks like less of a big move on my part and more of a "the girls are saving Austin" move. Boo. Y'all know the truth, this was happening before Erik even uttered my name so...I get credit for it! :P

My other concern with this vote is that I'm putting too much faith in Monica on this one. She gets very cocky a lot of the time, and thinks she has a lot more influence and control than she reall does. See also: the Kim vote. So I'm not so sure I should stick with these Golden Girls all the way to the Final 5, or that one of them will not try and pull something off on me. I don't think Monica would, but I'm less sure about Caryn and Sue.

Anyways, if I end up going home tonight then this was a great time and I'll be totally happy with how I played. If not, shit's going to get super interesting. Thanks for reading guys :) :) :) I don't say that enough.