I have a lot of anger at that snippet of conversation. I'll let it sit for a while until I'm ready to comment in a calm and collected manner. :|

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NAH

WHAT THE FUCK? If you don't want me to go so badly, then scramble the fucking jets and get somebody else voted out! Vote for that snake motherfucker Erik! Vote for Sue who you've hated the whole game! Don't piss on my leg like "Oh I ever so hope you win immunity :puppydog: " and tell me it's raining. YOU have the ability to change that. Shiterra must think I was born goddamn YESTERDAY if she thinks I don't see through that bullshit Jesus Christ.

Whatever. I hope it's a puzzle or something so I can keep powerbottoming my way through this game.

Footage of Caryn showing up to the Auction:

These idiots don't even realize that I don't WANT anything besides Immunity. Go ahead and waste your money on mystery items and chests, because all you're gonna do with them is screw each other over. I just want Immunity at the end of the day.

Yve and Austin might be flipping anyway. They've told me and Monica and Sue that they're willing to work with us this round. They did this unprovoked, and they have no reason to lie to us, so ... this is really exciting. Sierra is apparently going off the rails paranoid, and Erik and Kelley are just trash at this game, so I understand Austin and Yve being fed up. Stay tuned after the challenge, because I think it's gonna be a shitshow.

Whoa holy shit, it's been an eventful couple of hours. Let me try to recap as best as I can. This is all gonna be a little slapdash and disjointed, but the important thing to remember is that I'm the type of pretentious bitch that uses the word "slapdash" in the Year of Our Lord, two thousand fifteen.

So early in the day, Austin and Yve formally propose to myself, Monica, and Sue that the five of us band together and make an alliance moving forward. Now that Rory's gone, we've got a much more friendly public image. Great. Sign the deal. Amazing.

I kind of accidentally win the decision because I am trying to fuck with Sierra, and the item ended unexpectedly. Since we have our new five, I want to move the Double Tribal up, but Austin cautions me against appearing too cocky and how that might make Erik, Kelley, Sierra, and Garrett suspicious.

Erik approaches me about him and Kelley flipping over to vote out Austin. Of the two of them, I trust Austin more, so I say yes of course Erik, and immediately tell Austin just to show him "Hey holy shit, look how snake-y Erik is. We'll definitely vote him out!"

Erik advises me that moving the Double Tribal up would make Austin suspicious. My cackling, which has been happening for about two hours now, doubles in ferocity.

I make the decision to keep the 2xTC pushed back.

Once all of the bids surpass the amount of money I have left, I tell Sue that my money is hers if she wants to bid on Immunity. During this conversation, I come up with the idea that if we keep passing our money back and forth, we can effectively bracket and shut down a single opposing bidder, despite only having the funds for one. (Note to Lex and Brett, you should really institute a cooldown once somebody passes money because we could have exploited that role for hours if we were slightly more evil.) We abandon this notion as too conniving when we're trying not to be seen as threats.

Towards the end of the auction, Sue and Kelley emerge as the two contenders for immunity. I tell Sue I'll give her my money if she needs it. I do so. Erik gives Kelley his money.

The timing of the bids is strongly in Kelley's favor. Sue offers up her money so that Kelley doesn't win immunity.

Caryn Groedel will be invulnerable for the 10th straight round. My cackling is isolated and fashioned into a renewable energy source that runs on spite. Unprecedented economic and scientific growth are triggered. Global warming is reversed. Wars end. Humanity explores the galaxy as universal ambassadors and meets sexy alien life forms. All is good.

So ... I think Erik and Kelley think it will be Austin. Sierra and Garrett are probably gonna vote Sue. And here, little ol' Caryn should be voting in the majority and sending that shady little snake Erik packing. Oh the times they are a-changin'.

By the way, this alliance of five will be The Golden Girls (plus Austin)

Photoshop incoming

Shitty Photoshop complete!

Can I submit this conversation for an award in storytelling or something?

I don't see why not.

I mean ... clearly one of me or Erik is getting snowed. Either way, it's hilarious.

So...you're Dorothy? Monica is Rose? Yve is Blanche? and...Sue is Sophia? Just trying to get this right.

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