It only feels right to start this confessional off with an ode to my fallen comrade and dear friend in this game, Katie Collins. I flove Katie. She's just an all around awesome person to talk to, and someone who kind of single-handedly kept me sane in a game filled with Rory, Yve, and Monica levels of crazy. Sure, we had some minor bumps along the way and I'm not even 100% sure she was totally with me (her and Sierra were crazy tight) but I'm still gonna miss her in this game, and after being told so nonchalantly by Monica that Katie had to go I was absolutely furious. My biggest regret is that I just wish she had made jury, because as far as I'm concerned, she deserved it by making these first few weeks so much fun. So, in conclusion, I'm gonna just move forward in this game fighting in some small part for her. And I'll always try and:



Anyways, moving on to the repercussions of the Katie vote. The reaction was immediately and ultra violent by various parties of people. Those most pissed off about it were Sierra (who furiously IMed me like immediately), Erik, and a rather hurt Yve. Sierra had the most hilarious reaction, fuming at me and then going and screaming Stephen's head off. This was a large sign that her and Katie were indeed ultra close, even after their little tiff. But Sierra's meltdown was kinda simultaneously sad and hilarious to behold, with her screaming at Stephen about their shared past history and how much of an asshole he was. She shared a lot of their conversation with me, and it's just great stuff. With both Sierra and Erik, Katie's vote off kind of forced them a lot closer to me. Both of them have been talking to me much, much, much more than before, and the desperation that I can feel off both of them in terms of "Austin and Yve are our best hope for staying in this game" is palpable, and obvious. So I've made sure to be on great terms with both of them, implied that I'm with them, and over the course of the week roped in Garrett a bit as well.

However, the biggest thing Katie's vote did for me was in regards to Yve. This is the person I've wrote endless rants about how insane she is, how weird and awkward she is, and how emotionally unstable she is. I don't really take any of that stuff back (though at heart I realize she's a sweetheart, just a fucking batshit sweetheart), but now she's my closest ally? LOL. She felt ultra betrayed by both Monica and Stephen after the vote, and over the course of this week we've solidified into a solid, concrete duo that has each other's back. I'm a little wary of her emotional tendencies and her general paranoia (we'll get to that with this week's vote), but overall I feel very solid with her. She's the type of person who as long as I'm honest with her (or at least never get caught up in a lie), I feel like she'll stick with me.

Anyways, onwards and upwards. This week's challenge: we got destroyed. It was a posting one, and I was paired with Garrett, and though we didn't do great by any means we looked positively professional after Rob and Rory got like 20 something minutes. But the entire other team got under 9 minutes I'm pretty sure and since the times were averaged we got slaughtered by like 4 minutes. I wasn't super upset about losing to be honest, only because I was beyond ready to get back in the game, to see where some people stood, and I wanted Kelley and Rob to have a tribal before we merged. Plus, on that other tribe, unless Sue or Caryn left (which I doubt considering Caryn has the idol, as per Monica) I was gonna lose something useful (probably Sierra?) to me in the future.

Leading up to the vote, I was pretty sure that I could get Yve and Garrett on my side for sure. Since the Katie vote, Garrett's been glued to my ass and both Erik and Sierra have been dropping little suggestions that I work with him. "Hey, I know Garrett is super cool" and "Hey I think Garrett wants to work with ya :)", that type of thing. Kelley was still a mysterious wild card, Rob a nonentity, and Rory someone who I'm pretty sure told everyone he wanted to work with them. I heard through Monica that he said I was "cool", but I also knew that Rory is fairly tight with Caryn and Monica, and would want to take out Garrett.

Right on cue, immediately after the results are posted, Rory throws Garrett's name out there to myself and to Yve. He claims that Garrett is someone that has no allies, and would be the "easiest" vote. AND, I think if Rory had not had a date that night (or at least he claims he had a date, who knows with him ammirite) I think Garrett would have gone home this week. He would have been able to work over Yve and especially Kelley in order to get those votes solid that night. BUT, since he was MIA that entire night and it ended up basically being me and Yve double teaming Kelley all night and pulling her in close, I managed to make the target Rob. When I first started talking to Kelley about the vote I was wary. I wasn't sure how close she was to Rob or to Rory for that matter, so I felt her out for awhile before realizing that she is actually very alone in the game. I knew she had some ties to Erik and Kim back in the day, but could tell very quick that she was simply anxious to keep herself safe for this vote.

So I took a risk and decided to just go all in with her very quickly. I'm usually a bit more of a shy, slow type of strategist in that I let others bring it up but in this case my gut said that if I was bold and engaged Kelley very quickly she'd be loyal because she'd feel a part of an alliance. So I basically told her that I wanted to work with her, that I know that Yve and I felt very alone and confused on the tribe and if we all stuck together we'd have half the votes and could sway one more person. She seemed ultra receptive and kinda just like she wants to feel safe with whoever. She's a bit stilted to talk to sometimes, and I feel like she doesn't always give back as much so I'm not sure how long term she trusts Yve and I cuz I can't get a great read on her but it's a start.

I think the moment Yve and I got Kelley we clinched the vote in our favor, because we had a solid four (with Garrett thrown in), and we all agreed not to budge so it left Rory with no room to maneuver. So why Rob? Or as I've decided to cornily name him this very moment, Boston Snob. I honestly don't know how this guy is a three time All-Star in this game you guys. He literally talked to nobody. NOBODY. Not even after we lost the challenge. Like, what the fuck? I can kind of see a plan of maybe lying low and letting people come to him or something, and maybe even Rory told him he was good and shouldn't try but like....how is that a good strategy long term. I think on the outside, Rob seems like the easy vote (and it was), but I wanted Rob gone for a very specific reason. Had he made the merge, he would NOT be a target in this game at all. He'll have floated his way to probably the final 6 or 7 and then become a key power player by becoming a swing vote. All of this made him a threat to Yve and I, who are hoping to become the swing votes ourselves and with Rob in the game as yet another wild card who we have no control over he'd be a threat to our game. So he had to go, and for more reasons than "he doesn't talk to me :cry: "

The only little snafu we had was with Rory, who claimed he "hates" Rob but at the same time argued keeping him because Rory said he do whatever Rory says. Which, like.....how does that help me? I think that Rory thinks Yve and I are more naive than we are because he's using all this logic that is super facile and coming from a place where he thinks he knows more than we do. We're not dumb, Rory. We know that you are with Caryn/Monica and I'm not sure that's not exactly where I'm leaning towards going this upcoming week. And by voting out Garrett we become the bad guys, cut off at least 2 potential allies, and pick a side much early than we have to. So, sorry bout it. I'll admit that Yve did an awesome job handling him, while I probably just frustrated him. I guess I just can't hide my disdain for him and his plan as well as she does because eventually he just gave up on persuading me and decided to focus on Yve. Who, bless her, didn't back down. So it was futile and I'm sure he's fuming over in confessional and screaming how dumb we all are. Sorry bout it Rory! :D

So Rob went home with little to no fanfare. What a flop! With this just announced merge now in full force, next week is gonna be an ultra juicy one. I'll have more to say about Monica next week, because I have complex feelings on her. Till then!