MERGE!

Okay so this wasn't a super opportune time for the merge. Monica and I had been talking about throwing the next challenge to get Sierra out. Brob would have stuck with us, and he just got voted out ... The momentum isn't exactly in my favor right now, let's just say.

So once we merge, I get on the horn with Kelley. I think I might be one of the only people who has ever spoken to Kelley, and lo and behold about 3 minutes into our conversation, she brings up a potential pact between the two of us. We're both alone in the game. We'll look out for each other. Yadda yadda. I told her Rory and Sue are probably in a corner with us. I left Monica's name out of it for now because I couldn't find a feasible explanation for her to be with me at this moment. I don't want Kelley thinking I'm trying to bring her in on the bottom. I want her to think this is more of a partnership. But, if she's in, we have five. We just need one more, and we have a couple potential candidates: Austin and Yve. Austin is apparently skittish because I stopped talking to him a little bit while I scrambled back into the game at Kushangaza, the entitled bastard. Yve is a sweetheart, but I don't put a lot of trust in her. Overall, I think we have a good shot at putting the pieces together to topple Sierra's goonsquad.

I can't rely on immunity this round either. It's gonna be a lame Coconut Chop challenge, and nobody wants to see me win immunity, so I'll be one of the first two out probably. It's looking more and more likely that I'll have to idol myself this round, but where the hell do I go from there?

Fuckin LOVE this shit where everyone blatantly lies to my face and then tries to backstab me.

Like ... for real Austin and Yve. I'm desperate. You've got me on the ropes. No need to piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

Okay ... so hypothetically we have HAG HAVOC and OG Y'mra S'bor and Stephen voting out Garrett on this one. That's 7 people. That should work. Garrett should be gone. But I really hate this feeling in the pit of my stomach that says it's too good to be true. I've gone back and forth twenty times today. Do I use the idol as an insurance policy? Do I keep the idol and risk getting voted out with it? It's killing me. If I guess wrong, it could cost me the game.

I'm super paranoid. I'm talking with Kelley and Erik trying to push them into a lie if they are lying to me without being TOO paranoid. Ugh I just hate this. I'm gonna get an ulcer.