[[This confessional covers up until right before Vytas was voted out. I owe you guys about two whole ones now, and I'm not gonna skip any I promise :) I lost this one at least twice, so sorry if it's a little subpar but I want it here for posterity's sake. And my anal retentive ways.]]

So this was an ultra slow round for me so a lot of the drama that happened for this week is going to be very front loaded.

So Kim was voted out and my first reaction was just simply a HELL YES. Sure, I was just completely off the mark with everything I said in my last confessional about it probably being Sue to go but I didn't care. She was a major power player in this game, someone who I was ultra nervous about in the future, and someone who happened to be an intensely boring person to boot (even though everyone else I've talked to says liked talking to Kim, I just don't see it).

And then I heard how she was given the boot. To the best of my understanding, it went down like this: Kim found out that Monica had the idol (because Monica told her...dumb move). This, plus the fact that apparently Kim thinks Monica is insane and annoying (I mean, valid points lol) led her to attempt to turn the vote against her. She enlisted Sierra & Erik, who THEN decided that this would be a good time to take our power player Kim. And thus the vote was complete chaos, and something like a 4-3-2-1 vote or something cray with Kim, Monica, Sue, and Garrett (lol Yve) getting votes. Monica ALSO played her idol at the prompting of Rory so she wasted it, considering she got the minority vote. All this was a major shock to Monica as well as myself, but for me at least it wasn't a bad one. I think for Monica, it was a major wake-up call though. She realized that she can't just trust everyone she has good conversations with.

The major backlash that came towards me for this turn events had to do with Katie. So apparently Katie turned out to be very close with Kim. And she told Kim a lot of the not so subtle hints that Sierra was giving her and I about her secret plan. This got back to Sierra, and prompted her passive aggressively bitching out Katie to my face and subtly pinning it on me as well. After the vote, she got a bit more aggressive and decided to "call me out" to my face about all these lies that I had told to her and the shit I had spread to Monica. This was all patently false, considering I had only told Monica about her being potentially targeted by Sierra AFTER Sierra had started openly bashing Katie to my face. Katie went on to deny having said anything about this and further frame me, before FINALLY telling Sierra the truth. You'd think this would have cleared me of any major wrongdoing, but nope my conversations with Sierra from here on out have been super awkward while her and Katie became chums again. This has permanently damaged ANY potential bond I may have had with Sierra, and made everything ten times more awkward.

Anyways, whatever. At this point in the game I'm starting to fall into a bit of a mid-game depression for various reasons. I'm over talking to a lot of these people, so many of them are just impossible to converse with no matter how hard I try. People I previously liked (Caryn, Sierra) have been totally stilted with me of later for little to no reason. Monica's strongly hinted that I'm like dead weight who hasn't done anything because my tribe has won challenges, and she's increasingly frustrating to talk with. Katie's the only person I truly like get along with. Everyone else ranges from boring to crazy to irrelevant. I hate to say it but I need to lose a challenge so I can get some spark back because it's feeling pretty stagnant. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion while everyone else is sprinting. Speaking of, we won this week. I did really good blocking spears until late into the night. Before this vote I was hearing that it was a strong possibility Vytas would go in a tie situation, with Sue scraping by. Will I be right? (Hint: Yes)

The next one will be more exciting than this, and not end on such a glum note of pessimism. Oh wait, it looks like Katie is going home this week, the one person I love talking to. Great. Just great. See you then.