The Caryn-getti

Get it?

Because it's ...

Okay.

lol it's spelled "Serengeti" you clowns

Okay so Monica has forced me to start playing the game for real. What a bitch, I know, but it has to be done.

She informs me that Old Marehemu is still super tight, way tighter than all the original tribes at least. But she's committed to the Hags and wants to pull in others. I tell her that I can probably get Rory to vote along with us, and she says she could probably get Austin, so come merge-time, we could potentially have a solid group of five. I don't know how likely either of those things are, seeing as Austin is hypothetically part of the whole "Kumbaya Bullshit" alliance and Rory conjured a Vytas boot out of fucking nowhere, but hey it's worth a shot. The more likely scenario in my mind is that we get one of those guys and lay low until it's our time to strike.

In the meantime, I'm hedging my bets with old Y'rma S'bor. I talked to Erik last night and gave him the whole "If you're skrong I'm skrong. We skrong then" pitch. Rob and Kelley haven't done much of ANY socializing outside of me. I think if push comes to shove, we can circle the wagons and keep the original Purple Drank tribe together for a couple of tribal councils, long enough to buy the Hags a little time if I have to.

Anyway, this Extra Helping challenge is suspicious. No sitouts needed for Immunity? That means one of two things in my mind:
1) Merge. At 13. In a game that started with 18. If you're blowing your load this early, maybe you should seek professional help, Lex.
2) Captain's Challenge for a tribe swap. Two tribes of six, with one person exiled (with a chance at an idol?) that joins the losing tribe. In which case, it would behoove me to win and put together a group I feel comfortable with so I can keep them safe until merge. I mean ... not to be cocky, but I'm singlehandedly winning a lot of "team" challenges. I'm eatin. I'm really out here.

Of course, there is the eminent possibility of 3) Lex and Brett are complete poopclowns that just want to fuck with us, and even if 1) or 2) is right, they'll change it up just so they can say I was wrong. The more I think about it, the more 3) seems the most likely ...

LEX I'M DYING

OKAY TIME TO START PLAYING

So HAG HAVOC has been united on this new shitty tribe. UNFORTUNATELY, we also have Sierra and a couple of Sierra's loyal lackeys, if the grapevine is to be believed. Right now, Sue is the target, and she's in the minority. Worst case scenario, I'll idol her, take out Sierra, and we can take Hag-control of this Hag-tribe. BUT, I don't want it to come to that. Here's the play-by-play ...

I shoved my head firmly up Sierra's ass. Sierra has a glut of power on this tribe, and I made her a convincing-sounding offer: "You and I are the biggest threats here; if we keep each other around, it helps us keep the target off our own backs. Working together is the BEST way to ensure that we continue to advance further in this game." This is all 100% true; Sierra and I would be a dangerous pair together, and ideally I'd love to work with her because it would be a mutually beneficial partnership. However, I know that Sierra is either too dumb, too narcissistic, or too short-sighted to realize how important I could be for her game. Hopefully I convinced her enough to let her keep her guard down a little bit while we scheme around her.

Then we have to go to the three floaters to see if they'll be willing to vote for a target other than Sue. It could be Sierra, it could not be; it doesn't matter. Anybody but Sue, that lovable little cockroach.

If good cop doesn't work, I'll play bad cop. I'll talk to Erik right before the voting and say "Listen. Erik. I love you, and I want you to be on the right side of this vote. Sierra's going, and you can either be with us or against us." Obviously that's a last-ditch effort because shit I wanna hold onto my idol ...

THEN if all that fails ... I play my idol on Sue, and Sierra packs her bags. Which leaves me idol-less. On a tribe where I just idoled out the next biggest challenge whore. With a huge target on my back. That's the nuclear option. I don't want the nuclear option.

Okay. So apparently Stephen will vote for Katie. That's all we needed to happen. Hags intact. Idol intact. Tribe mostly intact, so I probably don't need to worry about TC again next round. (God I'm so spoiled.)