ughhhhhhhhhhh

Rory just had this VERY DRAMATIC CONVERSATION with me about how I'm at the ~*~ bottom of his boot list~*~ so he trusts me TILL THE END. and I have to promise not to tell anyone anything we talk about. because "no offense. :-p. but you talk a lot."

then he says my name came up again but no one is voting for me because he squashed it. but he kept ignoring me asking who said it. IF WE ARE BEING SO HONEST AND TRUSTFUL, why won't you tell me? he didn't tell me last time either.

and then he's like "we should flip it right now to get out sierra" with me/him/yve/sue.

and i get it. sierra is a TOTAL threat. and she is "the head of the snake". and this is possible. cuz there is a split vote between vytas/sue so grabbing people from both sides of the split would make it happen.

but omg we have only 40 minutes left.

and....

I REALLY LIKE SIERRA. she's being super nice and fun to me. i obvz think it's weird how nice she is being. she calls me "moncialegend" and weird shit.

I REALLY LIKE GARRETT too.

but what did I learn last round -- don't just trust/save people just cuz you like talking to them!

so idk idk. Rory talks to me in this very scary abusive relationship russel hantz kind of way and I'm not about it.

but it would be a good move. maybe? ugh?

ugh? UGHHHH ugh.

haha y'all i've been so terrified the past 45 minutes.

i BETRAYED RORY'S TRUST and told yve about his plan. yve was like "ehh i don't know" and i was like "word." both yve and rory are so bad at IMing that it never happened.

I told rory to switch his vote to vytas and ensure sue's trust. and then he goes on and pretends like he came up with it himself.

MONICA LIVES ANOTHER DAY.

there's hope 4 me yet.

hopefully week 3 will be better than week 2.

I think this works out perfectly.

Rory exposed Vytas' idol.

Rory gained Sue's trust. I think I am gaining it too.

Garrett/Sierra were tight with Vytas.

It's less of a 'blindside' now that we have time to discuss.

I'm feeling kind of good about things, WHICH MEANS IT'S NOT GOING TO END WELL.

People I like and trust:


People I like but do not fully trust:


I'm sorry who are you again:

bye.

So... Caryn told me and Sue about the idol. I feel like this is a huge show of trust. And I'm actually (believe it or not) going to tell Erik or Rory about it.

I can't tell if Caryn is 'for real' about this, we started talking bigger plans. I think I let too much info go by. But I think she might be worth hitching my wagon to.

I mean I would prefer, for my own sanity, to go to the end with Caryn and Sue. Austin is too overplay-y and not fun and like very anal. Rory is like too dramatic and abrasive and scary and hard to talk to. But, I think us 5 can take it to the end. With Yve and Stpehen and Katie as cannon fodder.

Ugh my new tribe can't be any better. This is perfect.

Don't get cocky, Monica, don't get cocky.

Y'all....

if everything goes correctly tomorrow. I believe we will be witness to my ~*~ coming of age.

I cordially invite you PW's to...



Details to follow tomorrow when I have everything straight.

Welcome to my ....



Why is it my Bat Mitzvah, you ask?

Because it's my ... coming of age.

Why is it my coming of age, you ask?

Because I am about to do my first ever ORG betrayal.

It's not an extreme betrayal. It's not like Katie and I ever had explicitly been like "F2 gurl never ever." She just has a lot of trust in me despite us not talking for like almost two weeks.

But I did ... have to lie. To her.

And Sierra. And Erik.

And it was so *easy*! They trust me and love me. And Sue is such an obvious boot

I'm almost considering bringing Erik in on the plan but who cares.

I do not think this will blow up completely in my face, but we'll see.

It just ... I had to separate people I "like" to "what's best for my game." And also, I mean, I literally do like every single person on my tribe. So I guess you can not make 'I like you' as a priority. But I also feel bad. But I also ... don't.



This is the first time in all my many many many confessionals (ty for sticking with me culpeppies and gushers!) I think this is significant that I'm using this phrase. This is why this round, this vote is my coming of age. This is when I am really starting to play the game and not just try to kick out people I don't like.

I really wanted Sierra out so Katie and I could still be allies. But Stephen/Caryn/Rory wanted otherwise. And I thought of maybe arguing against it but then realized ... it's not worth it. It'd seem too self-serving and shady. As Stephen said, it'd be good to not keep Marehamu completely intact. It's good for my game. It's just a game.

Speaking of games ... Katie and Sierra did not play this right. I don't know why but Sierra is in LOVE with me. I like her but she goes very overboard with her love to me. She told me twice that my TC response last round "improved her quality of life." She, upon talking about how she didn't think she'd get into this ORG, said, "I am so grateful I got in. Because I got to meet you." It's very excessive and weird and makes me not trust her.

Katie just made it too clear she was close to Sierra. SUPER TIGHT. And I just don't know where her head will be otherwise. I can't trust her to keep wanting to work with me, especially if I boot Sierra. I think she'd be fine. But I don't want to rock the boat. I know how to talk to Sierra, to Stephen, to Erik, to Caryn, to Sue.

I guess Hag Island is real. I can trust Caryn -- Rory helped me verify it. Rory has no idea how close I am to Caryn. Caryn hows no idea how close I am to Rory. That'll be interesting. Austin knows I'm close to both.

I am terribly sorry, Katie. I hope when you read this later you can see that I was terribly sorry I had to lie to you. But y'know ... it's just a game.

Bar Mitzvah out.

Also, yes, I am IRL Jewish. So holla (challah) at me!

Mazel tov!

Shawna @ 13/3/2015 16:43

Mazel tov!

L'chaim!

Anyway, I feel really bad. I went to this party tonight, got pretty drunk, but kept thinking back every now and then about this and felt really bad. But also that made me feel like a loser. Sausage Island, stop infiltrating my IRL life.

lmao ok after talking to Sierra try to guilt me about this. I don't really care again. it's a game! Let's not get too serious etc.

Ugh it's about to get more and more serious.

Erik and Sierra are being so whiney about it. When I was blindsided with the Kim vote, I didn't whine or be bitter even though I thought my game was fucked. I was all cute about it and was all, "Thanks for saving me! ^_^ omg that was so scary as an ORG newb lol omg".

But Sue is also being a crazy hag about all of this and getting cocky for no reason. I fucking love it because she had nothing to do with her not being voted out for the past 3 rounds.

Only thing I'm wondering is Austin (and Yve). Austin is understandably upset but I didn't think he would be so emotional about it. He was like, "I have to step away from this." I guess he didn't talk to anyone but me and Katie. But I think I still have him. We'll see. He holds all my secrets (it's why his hair is so big).

Both Erik and Stephen suggested booting Caryn out next. I don't get it! Do they think I joined Caryn to vote Katie out like by accident? I guess they have no other choice. They just trust me.

I do NOT trust Stephen. He's playing the ultimate floater game. But he doesn't understand that I'm playing an even better floating game.

I think this is all putting it all in a good situation. I feel calm. Not cocky. But calm. ZEN.

Namaste, bitches!

Oh my gosh I can not stand some of these people anymore.

Quote

garrett adelstein Why Katie? (: 11:34 AM garrett adelstein Gotta ask 11:38 AM Monica Culpepper hahah of course. umm I thougth Sue was to obvious of a boot and I didn'tk now where Katie's head was at, we hadn't talked in so long idk 50 mins garrett adelstein Hmmm I accept your explanation 50 mins garrett adelstein Doesn't mean I agree with it

Hmmmm I accept your existence
Doesn't mean I agree with it

Hmmmm I accept your condescending tone
Doesn't mean I give a shit

Hmmmm I accept you thinking I care
Doesn't mean you're right

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Hmmmmmm

Sorry I'm so hungover and need food so badly. but I'm so lazy.

jk i luv u garrett <3

OMG I'm immune for the first time in 5 rounds. this a glorious day on the world of the culpeppies.

this vote's going to be a true test tho of how Austin and Rory work without me meddling in. it might get ugggggllylyyy