Monica Culpepper @ 8/4/2015 15:43

ACT ONE: MONICA’S GAME Ok, so I wrote like 15 paragraphs of a round-by-round explanation of this game (like how I deliberately got myself to be on Yve’s tribe, and had Austin write good words about me to her) … but realized that like no one wants to read that right now. Unless you do! If so, request that in your question. I figured in my opening, I should just speak generally, and then we can get down to business.

: So is this your first ORG or isn't it? So in addition to contradicting yourself, you somehow seemed to think that breaking up every two-three sentences with spaces was somehow different from not posting 15 paragraphs. K...


[QUOTE=Monica Culpepper@8/4/2015 15:43]
I fulfilled my pre-game strategy and ideals. And that’s pretty neat.

I found a confidant in Austin, a partner, a plus one, that I can trust and bounce ideas off of. So like I said, I was not really sure how to socialize on AIM. And like I showed earlier, the first two people to talk to me were Garrett and Austin. Garrett and I did not actually have a conversation cuz of time zones. But Austin and I chatted. And I really liked him. I did not automatically compute, “OH THIS DUDE IS MY SECRET F2 PAIR” but I could tell we were definitely on similar pages.

Marehemu was great. I got to talk to Yve more and instantly fell in love with her (as I’m sure everyone else did, too). We definitely first bonded over wine <3. But the Yve/Austin/Katie/me foursome seemed tight and fun and very lovey dovey Kumbaya. Quickly, Austin and I then started to see that we just talked game a lot more intense than the other two. I know we said day two, but i GUESS WE LIED. It seems that on February 25 (day two?) that Austin and I decided to become a secret really tight duo. We were both just really aggressive about gaming and knew that we could contain it just between the two of us. I want y’all to know that it was NOT like instant WE ARE FINAL TWO TO THE END. I specifically said in my Feb 25 confessional: “Austin seems a little more eager as a player (he wants to make our duo real secret and make Yve or Katie the figurehead leader [of our foursome] so that they get the most target) ... which kind of makes me on watch. He's all, ‘So glad we been together since DAY ONE’, which is a lil' too much.” But lmao guess look at us now being all DAY ONE. I did not instantly trust him but knew he was someone to keep close and good.

As I said in the previous TC, it was not until the Kim vote that everything solidified between us. I will wholly admit that my gameplay during that round was abysmal. I got a little cocky based on how good and nice Marehemu was. The foursome was tight. And then when Stephen was so bold as to come to me and said, “I know I’m the obvious boot. What can I do?” When I told him to target FairPlay and it worked. I knew I had Stephen as an ally. When Rory and I had a screaming convo that turned into a very dramatic and exhilarating final 2 duo, I knew I had an ally there. Thank you Rory for telling me the play the idol. So I thought that I could just go aggressive and gamebot-y on that Game Four round. I really messed that one up and found out how truly out of the loop I was.

So that’s when I knew I had to adapt to the game scheme and not be all gamebot-y about it at this stage. Rory and I, and then Austin and I both recognized that an army was forming and that we were not a part of it. I tried to become a part of it with my fabulous gorgeous personality, and found out that I really did enjoy talking to everyone in this game. Sierra and I, in particular, had a really good conversation chemistry. But, it was obvious, through things like Erik and Stephen telling me that they really wanted to give me a heads-up that I would not have to play my idol, that alliances were already solidifying and that if I just played the social game with them that I would be at the bottom. So there had to be a crack.

And there was … Sue. SUE! My crack <3 So the idol hysteria made that split vote thing possible. I credit Rory with that Vytas boot. I thought it would be smart to just make the majority happy by booting Sue. But Rory saw the value in saving her. And it just worked nicely that Vytas having an idol seemed like an appropriate reason to boot him. By saving Sue, I did not realize I would gain an ally. But we had such an awesome conversational chemistry. And then I had great chemistry with CARYN <3. And then Caryn/Sue and I were all talking one night … and then we decided to make a chatroom, which turned into the HAG ALLIANCE. I thought it was a joke at first. But then it turned out to be a beautiful reality.

But then there was the Katie boot. I can imagine with some people that was a real turning point with how they were looking at me. It was a turning point for me, as well. My confessional that week was really dramatic. I called it my ORG Bat Mitzvah in that it was my Coming of Age (#episodetitle) in that I realized that just because I loved Katie, and really enjoyed talking to her … it was better for my game that she left. I originally wanted Sierra to leave, but Stephen was the swing vote, and he wanted Katie out. Getting Katie out made the sides that much stronger and opposed and easier to see. It had a dramatic effect on the game and kind of made it so that a lot of people would not work for each other.

So when we got to the merge. The two sides were clear:
Side 1: Erik/Sierra/Garrett/Kelley + Yve (who I knew no longer trusted me after the Katie thing) + maybe Stephen
Side 2: Me/Rory/Sue/Caryn + maybe Stephen

… and then there was Austin. I was very irritated with Austin after he decided to keep Garrett over the irrelevant cannon fodder Boston Rob. I thought it would be so easy if he got rid of Garrett, then he’d be on our side and we’d have the majority. But, since we were secret, it was very easy for Austin to pretend to be pissed at me for the Katie vote, even though he knew it all along. I respected that he respected me doing that. And then in turn, I gave him respect for keeping Garrett, and getting Side 1’s trust.

So when it came down to merge, we had a chat about the rest of the game. He came up with the crazy idea of “playing both sides” and to “pretend to keep our distance.” I thought that was COMPLETE BULLSHIT. That it would be a thing where Ausitn would be like, “Let’s pretend to be distant … oops we actually are distant bye!” So I agreed to that with always the thought of turning on him when shit seemed bullshit.

But then it was not bullshit. Austin told me everything as I had told him everything when he didn’t have to go to tribal like 4 rounds in a row pre-merge. It seemed more like bullshit after Stephen left, then Rory left. I fought to make Austin fill. But then the Erik boot happened. We had planned that to be the Erik boot, and the flip. The problem was convincing Yve. And then Erik conveniently targeted Austin. So it made it seem like Austin/Yve had not aligned with us but was rather saving his neck. Which was awesome. I tried my hardest to convince Austin to just stay with the Hags and go to the end where I would be the swing between Sue/Caryn and Austin/Yve. I had yet to make up my mind regarding where I would go with that. And luckily, I never had to.

But Austin wanted to continue the split sides game. So that double boot happened. And then Caryn. I tried so hard to convince them otherwise, that just because Caryn was winning challenges does not mean we had to boot her. But it happened. And then the Sierra boot happened. And then Yve. and then Garrett.

Our boot list was pretty much in order from Erik onward. The thing was … I had to play dumb. I had to play real dumb. I had to play nice. I had to play bitter or scramble-y when I actually felt quite secure. It was quite the act for me. And while I was acting dumb, I still had ideas of exit plans. I started to talking to Sierra even further (jokingly asking for f2’s, but actually wanting to go further with that if it became a more viable option). Making deals with Garrett in case he won f3, or Yve in case she won f4 or f3. But then it all worked out how we planned.

And so here we are now. TRUST I tried really hard to edit this down hahah. I didn’t explain the merge as much because I figure y’all would have relevant questions because y’all were … there.



[QUOTE=Monica Culpepper@8/4/2015 15:43]

Monica Culpepper @ 8/4/2015 15:43

ACT TWO: MONICA VS. AUSTIN Was I dragged? No. I can see how one could see that. But as we have both said, it was a very cooperative act. I kept Austin in the loop during the pre-merge and he kept me int he loop during the post-merge. Everything either one of us did was talked through and through by both of us, and sometimes edited by suggestions of the other. But I can see y’all still saying, “He dragged you though! You had no power! He dragged you to this point!” Austin dragged me? I guess so, if by drag you mean …. Austin eliminated every single one of his allies for me. I even would concede to him on things such as, “We can eliminate Yve at f3 if you want. It will look better for you.” But he did not want to take that risk. He had the game plan set and matched. And that game plan involved …. eliminating every single ally for me. He risked pissing every single one of them off, or appearing like not even good allies to begin with. We could have easily kept going after the Erik boot to keep with Sue/Caryn. But he still wanted to play both sides. While I admit, it has been quite the achievement for us … but much did it cost him? It was almost lying for the sake of lying. While I did have fun faking conversations with him for the benefit of other people … (like for instance: telling Garrett I will ‘talk to Austin about booting Yve’ and then pretend that Austin was hesitant so Garrett should talk to Austin. And then have Austin relay me everything Garrett was saying to Austin and them coming to an agreement. And then for me to ask Garrett: What did Austin say?!) … it seems like he was always going an extra step in lying and deceiving, while I still always seemed in-character, I was always Monica. Austin was always shadier and not always Austin. I think that required more skill on my part. And it was not as if Austin like single-handedly protected me. I adapted to the game scheme and became allies/friends with a lot of really big targets: Stephen, Rory, Sue, and Caryn all were more obvious boots than me. While I enjoyed them and understood them … the majority did not. That really helped me not be a target. And then my social game allowed Erik to tell me about the Austin boot, or for Sierra to tell me all her thoughts and feelings <3 or for Yve to welcome me back into the fold. Garrett refused to boot out Sierra even though it did not matter either way. I told him that it would make Austin/Yve more endeared to working with him — but he did not want to. Which fortunately because of Austin/I did not really matter either way. I went and voted for Caryn even though it did not matter because I knew it might help Yve trust me more. I adapted to the game. I adapted to my failure in the Kim boot. I adapted to the ramifications of voting out Katie. I adapted. I outwitted Austin more on that front. I had to survive more tribal councils, I had to risk not being in the majority, I had to trust and not trust others. I adapted and survived. If to simplify further… I outplayed Austin more on that front. I TIED WITH IMMUNITY WINS WITH QUEEN BEAST CARYN <3. And I outlasted. I only missed three tribal councils. I feel like I am the Sandra to his Hantz … if they had made some creepy deal on day one. That is a very big simplification, of course. But I did really embody “Anyone but me” while he really got very gamer thirsty.

Monica Culpepper @ 8/4/2015 15:43

ACT TWO: MONICA VS. AUSTIN Was I dragged? No. I can see how one could see that. But as we have both said, it was a very cooperative act. I kept Austin in the loop during the pre-merge and he kept me int he loop during the post-merge. Everything either one of us did was talked through and through by both of us, and sometimes edited by suggestions of the other. But I can see y’all still saying, “He dragged you though! You had no power! He dragged you to this point!” Austin dragged me? I guess so, if by drag you mean …. Austin eliminated every single one of his allies for me. I even would concede to him on things such as, “We can eliminate Yve at f3 if you want. It will look better for you.” But he did not want to take that risk. He had the game plan set and matched. And that game plan involved …. eliminating every single ally for me. He risked pissing every single one of them off, or appearing like not even good allies to begin with. We could have easily kept going after the Erik boot to keep with Sue/Caryn. But he still wanted to play both sides. While I admit, it has been quite the achievement for us … but much did it cost him? It was almost lying for the sake of lying. While I did have fun faking conversations with him for the benefit of other people … (like for instance: telling Garrett I will ‘talk to Austin about booting Yve’ and then pretend that Austin was hesitant so Garrett should talk to Austin. And then have Austin relay me everything Garrett was saying to Austin and them coming to an agreement. And then for me to ask Garrett: What did Austin say?!) … it seems like he was always going an extra step in lying and deceiving, while I still always seemed in-character, I was always Monica. Austin was always shadier and not always Austin. I think that required more skill on my part. And it was not as if Austin like single-handedly protected me. I adapted to the game scheme and became allies/friends with a lot of really big targets: Stephen, Rory, Sue, and Caryn all were more obvious boots than me. While I enjoyed them and understood them … the majority did not. That really helped me not be a target. And then my social game allowed Erik to tell me about the Austin boot, or for Sierra to tell me all her thoughts and feelings <3 or for Yve to welcome me back into the fold. Garrett refused to boot out Sierra even though it did not matter either way. I told him that it would make Austin/Yve more endeared to working with him — but he did not want to. Which fortunately because of Austin/I did not really matter either way. I went and voted for Caryn even though it did not matter because I knew it might help Yve trust me more. I adapted to the game. I adapted to my failure in the Kim boot. I adapted to the ramifications of voting out Katie. I adapted. I outwitted Austin more on that front. I had to survive more tribal councils, I had to risk not being in the majority, I had to trust and not trust others. I adapted and survived. If to simplify further… I outplayed Austin more on that front. I TIED WITH IMMUNITY WINS WITH QUEEN BEAST CARYN <3. And I outlasted. I only missed three tribal councils. I feel like I am the Sandra to his Hantz … if they had made some creepy deal on day one. That is a very big simplification, of course. But I did really embody “Anyone but me” while he really got very gamer thirsty.

Monica Culpepper @ 8/4/2015 15:44

ACT 3: STATEMENTS TO JURY Just want to say a few things to y’all before you have your say. Stephen: I never betrayed you! And I saved you on that FairPlay vote even though you promised me a mask (lmao remember you asked Lex if you could directly give me the mask without being voted out). I thought we could have made a great team <3 Rory: I never betrayed you either <3. Yes, I told Ausitn about our f2 deal. But once we had that big dramatic chat about NEVER TELLING ANONE ABOUT WHAT WE TALK ABOUT … I kept my mouth shut. I had you below Austin on my boot list at that moment. I really thought we could have been a really hilarious and fun f2 deal. YAW YAW. Erik: Babe! <3 I really enjoyed our early chats, especially as two ORG newbs. But then you made it clear that you did not have me high on your priority list that I had to make other plans. Which is fine! But we could have been cute and fun. You being the first target of the Austin/Yve flip was a credit to your likability and gameplay. Kelley: I am truly sorry for that joke I made during that live chat of the double boot. That was the single thing I regret in this game. I was just like at work after hours drinking a beer and got competitive and a little too mean. I apologize. I did not mean to cyberbully you. I also thought it was sad we never chatted. And once we did, we had such good chemistry! Sue: MY QUEEN COCKROACH <3. I love how I went from targeting you to loving you. I wrote an essay in our rites about how I enjoy you. Caryn: WE COULD OF HAVE HAD IT ALLLLLL. I did really see us being f2 (with Sue at f3) once we got to merge because Austin’s duality seemed sketchy. We would have been so beautiful. I was still arguing for you until the end. I really think you turned into my big brother over the course of the game. Sierra; Hey. It’s a love story so JUST SAY YES. It was so hard having you argue to me at f5 with very logical claims of Austin/Yve not taking me to f2. I had to pretend to be so dumb around you but you were very fun to talk to and to troll <3. Yve: <3 babe. Like I said earlier, I told Austin I’d be fine with bringing you to f3 so it seemed like less of a huge betrayal. But he knew that if you won f3 you would beat both of us. I did want to work with you but I knew that you, understandably, did not trust me after the Katite boot. I was so glad we did end up getting to be allies again <3 That Golden Girls chat and time was my fav of the entire season. Garrett: I’m really glad I got to know you and work with you these past few weeks. You really did make me consider betraying Austin. You showed a great endgame.

Monica Culpepper @ 8/4/2015 15:43

ACT TWO: MONICA VS. AUSTIN Was I dragged? No. I can see how one could see that. But as we have both said, it was a very cooperative act. I kept Austin in the loop during the pre-merge and he kept me int he loop during the post-merge. Everything either one of us did was talked through and through by both of us, and sometimes edited by suggestions of the other. But I can see y’all still saying, “He dragged you though! You had no power! He dragged you to this point!” Austin dragged me? I guess so, if by drag you mean …. Austin eliminated every single one of his allies for me. I even would concede to him on things such as, “We can eliminate Yve at f3 if you want. It will look better for you.” But he did not want to take that risk. He had the game plan set and matched. And that game plan involved …. eliminating every single ally for me. He risked pissing every single one of them off, or appearing like not even good allies to begin with. We could have easily kept going after the Erik boot to keep with Sue/Caryn. But he still wanted to play both sides. While I admit, it has been quite the achievement for us … but much did it cost him? It was almost lying for the sake of lying. While I did have fun faking conversations with him for the benefit of other people … (like for instance: telling Garrett I will ‘talk to Austin about booting Yve’ and then pretend that Austin was hesitant so Garrett should talk to Austin. And then have Austin relay me everything Garrett was saying to Austin and them coming to an agreement. And then for me to ask Garrett: What did Austin say?!) … it seems like he was always going an extra step in lying and deceiving, while I still always seemed in-character, I was always Monica. Austin was always shadier and not always Austin. I think that required more skill on my part. And it was not as if Austin like single-handedly protected me. I adapted to the game scheme and became allies/friends with a lot of really big targets: Stephen, Rory, Sue, and Caryn all were more obvious boots than me. While I enjoyed them and understood them … the majority did not. That really helped me not be a target. And then my social game allowed Erik to tell me about the Austin boot, or for Sierra to tell me all her thoughts and feelings <3 or for Yve to welcome me back into the fold. Garrett refused to boot out Sierra even though it did not matter either way. I told him that it would make Austin/Yve more endeared to working with him — but he did not want to. Which fortunately because of Austin/I did not really matter either way. I went and voted for Caryn even though it did not matter because I knew it might help Yve trust me more. I adapted to the game. I adapted to my failure in the Kim boot. I adapted to the ramifications of voting out Katie. I adapted. I outwitted Austin more on that front. I had to survive more tribal councils, I had to risk not being in the majority, I had to trust and not trust others. I adapted and survived. If to simplify further… I outplayed Austin more on that front. I TIED WITH IMMUNITY WINS WITH QUEEN BEAST CARYN <3. And I outlasted. I only missed three tribal councils. I feel like I am the Sandra to his Hantz … if they had made some creepy deal on day one. That is a very big simplification, of course. But I did really embody “Anyone but me” while he really got very gamer thirsty.

Monica Culpepper @ 8/4/2015 15:44

ACT 3: STATEMENTS TO JURY Just want to say a few things to y’all before you have your say. Stephen: I never betrayed you! And I saved you on that FairPlay vote even though you promised me a mask (lmao remember you asked Lex if you could directly give me the mask without being voted out). I thought we could have made a great team <3 Rory: I never betrayed you either <3. Yes, I told Ausitn about our f2 deal. But once we had that big dramatic chat about NEVER TELLING ANONE ABOUT WHAT WE TALK ABOUT … I kept my mouth shut. I had you below Austin on my boot list at that moment. I really thought we could have been a really hilarious and fun f2 deal. YAW YAW. Erik: Babe! <3 I really enjoyed our early chats, especially as two ORG newbs. But then you made it clear that you did not have me high on your priority list that I had to make other plans. Which is fine! But we could have been cute and fun. You being the first target of the Austin/Yve flip was a credit to your likability and gameplay. Kelley: I am truly sorry for that joke I made during that live chat of the double boot. That was the single thing I regret in this game. I was just like at work after hours drinking a beer and got competitive and a little too mean. I apologize. I did not mean to cyberbully you. I also thought it was sad we never chatted. And once we did, we had such good chemistry! Sue: MY QUEEN COCKROACH <3. I love how I went from targeting you to loving you. I wrote an essay in our rites about how I enjoy you. Caryn: WE COULD OF HAVE HAD IT ALLLLLL. I did really see us being f2 (with Sue at f3) once we got to merge because Austin’s duality seemed sketchy. We would have been so beautiful. I was still arguing for you until the end. I really think you turned into my big brother over the course of the game. Sierra; Hey. It’s a love story so JUST SAY YES. It was so hard having you argue to me at f5 with very logical claims of Austin/Yve not taking me to f2. I had to pretend to be so dumb around you but you were very fun to talk to and to troll <3. Yve: <3 babe. Like I said earlier, I told Austin I’d be fine with bringing you to f3 so it seemed like less of a huge betrayal. But he knew that if you won f3 you would beat both of us. I did want to work with you but I knew that you, understandably, did not trust me after the Katite boot. I was so glad we did end up getting to be allies again <3 That Golden Girls chat and time was my fav of the entire season. Garrett: I’m really glad I got to know you and work with you these past few weeks. You really did make me consider betraying Austin. You showed a great endgame.

Monica Culpepper @ 8/4/2015 15:44

EPILOGUE Garrett really did make a compelling case. But I realized … I did not want to pull an Austin by booting Austin. And it’s not just simply because loyalty or morals … but also because I feel like I did not have to. I never had to pull an Austin this entire game. I made loyal agreements with people and never had to boot them or betray them. Me being secretive about Austin/I never came at the price of making others suffer, unlike him. I tried my hardest to get Austin to stop playing both sides and just stick to one. But he wanted to keep … pulling an Austin. Because he had to, to get to this position. I did not. I just had to pull a Monica. Booting Austin would not have been me. or necessary. hopefully. AND PULL A MONICA I DID. I had a real great time being Monica and playing with y’all. As I said in my pre-game question: I am indulgent. I really got the most I could out of this game and talking to you people and playing these challenges (even though I never read the rules). And it was a blast! I took it all very personal but also very cerebral. As my first legit ORG, it has been such a fun and amazing pleasure. I think I wrote 300 confessional posts hahaha. Anyway — looking forward to your comments and questions! Sorry I wrote so much. I am just so INDULGENT with all my EMOTIONS.

So I really didn't have much to say about things when you and Austin made final two. You guys got me and while it sucks to go, I got got. And that's all one can say. However, after reading some of your responses and trying to see the value of your game, you are single handedly the 2nd most INSUFFERABLE finalist I have ever had to choose whether or not to vote for. You're not doing yourself a single favor by being longwinded, judgmental, and frankly, an asshole. I'd love to say that what you wrote has changed my opinion of you, your moves, and your contribution to the overall game. However, my threshold for pain prohibited me from reading more than the first two paragraphs.



Secondly, I wanted to take all of the unnecessary, poorly written, ego-stroking Bullshit posts you have raped our intelligences as well as our wills to live the entirety of this game, and use them as part of my statement to you. Unfortunately, I can't access the tribe camps and I can't quote TCs. And while I could copy paste everything from the latter, you don't deserve that much of an effort.
That being said to prove that Karma's a boomerang. I have changed the color of three of the words in your "play" from standard black to dark grey. Find one of them in the next 6 hours and I will go from wanting (but not REALLY wanting) to vote for you, to guaranteeing my vote. Maybe then (but probably not), you will look at some of the things you say and realize how easy you could have been to vote for, but how difficult you are making it.


Lastly,

Monica Culpepper @ 10/4/2015 0:27

Most negative thing: You are very frantic with your emotions -- it was a lot to take at times.

As someone who never had you say anything validating, supportive or even ATTEMPT to call me out or calm be down from these "frantic emotions" you claim I exhibited that were SO overwhelming to you.....













Go....










fuck....










yourself.














Like really.


I could have played the game by letting other people make the relationships that benefited me. Then maybe I wouldn't have had to deal with the fact that I was getting close to people that I had to betray. You didn't have to worry about that sort of thing, did you? Because you were too busy ignoring people. I suppose being an asshole to people on their way out the door is easier when you don't take time to talk some of them, right? I wouldn't know somehow, because I was attempting to be social.

As someone who's game I'm TRYING to respect. In my heart, I still wish you good luck. But still, FUCK YOU.

<3

Ooh, I did not see the time limit of 6 hours in your challenge.

1. Sorry I wrote poorly and never edit anything I write on this forum.
2. Sorry my ego got the best of me. I got excited and just did a stream of consciousness. I should have realized that would be a mistake.
3. Saying I "raped" your intelligence is not nice. I find it really disagreeable when people use the word rape to refer to anything other than sexual assault. I'd advise you to stray away from that language.
4. Getting this angry at me saying your emotions were "frantic and overwhelming" is only proving my point. I do understand your point about connecting with people more, but I still think I made genuine connections with people.
5. You are right -- I never had to worry about betraying people, which I think makes my game better.
6. You are also right that I do get very long-winded ... so I will say no more!

Monica Culpepper @ 12/4/2015 13:01

Ooh, I did not see the time limit of 6 hours in your challenge.

Frankly my dear, it's because you prefer to be heard than to pay attention to other people.

Monica Culpepper @ 12/4/2015 13:01

3. Saying I "raped" your intelligence is not nice. I find it really disagreeable when people use the word rape to refer to anything other than sexual assault. I'd advise you to stray away from that language.

So me using the term "rape" is not nice, but you trolling, openly insulting a third of the jury and being an all around asshole is ok? Please explain...

Monica Culpepper @ 12/4/2015 13:01

4. Getting this angry at me saying your emotions were "frantic and overwhelming" is only proving my point. I do understand your point about connecting with people more, but I still think I made genuine connections with people.

Are you comparing this thread to ANYTHING I've done/said in the game? If so, PLEASE provide as many examples as you can... Since I'm so emotional, it shouldn't be difficult, right?

Monica Culpepper @ 12/4/2015 13:01

5. You are right -- I never had to worry about betraying people, which I think makes my game better.

So are you saying you didn't worry about voting out Sue, Caryn, Sierra and myself? Or are you saying that you didn't? :)

Please be prompter with your responses this time. Thanks.

I did not think I openly insulted a third of the jury. Now realizing that, I have apologized. I will apologize to you if you feel like I openly insulted you. If the case is that I openly insulted people, I never ever resorted to any violent and graphic imagery like "rape". That was all. I'm fine with everything else you said -- I can see how the validity of "I prefer to be heard." I simply did not see the time limit because I had a long day at work and skimmed what you said, only fully reading it when I had time today. Call me PC or whatever, but I just hate when people say, "That test raped me" or "You raped our intelligence".

Rory specifically asked for me to pick out negative qualities of each jury member. I said it was overwhelming sometimes how emotional you got -- be it happy, sad, or whatever. A few instances I can think of was when you PMed our entire Marehamu tribe apologizing for having your computer broken, or when I was not getting your IMs. Or when I heard second hand through Austin about how ambivalent you were about flipping a few times.

You have a lot of emotions. That's one of the best things about you. This maybe indicative of who I am vs. who you are, but I found it overwhelming sometimes. I did not think that was that bad of a thing to say about you. From my perspective, for you to lash out at me like this seems unreasonable. But, I can see how, from your perspective, why you would. I hope I have proven through my responses that I am someone that takes in criticism and tries to adapt from it. So I will take in what you are saying.

I did worry about voting out Sue, Caryn, Sierra, and yourself. I have said throughout my responses how I argued to Austin about not voting out Sue or Caryn -- and not voting you out until f3. I never had the numbers nor the sway. I never pulled the trigger.

I didn't say you were being worse. I just took issue to that word. I don't like the connotation and feel like it demeans sexual assault. But I don't want to get further into that because it gets personal and unnecessary. I don't take issue with anything else you said. I hope you are having fun with me. It is quite a revelation to get a taste of my own medicine.

I immediately apologized to Kelley and instantly felt like an ass. It was an in-the-moment remark as if we were playing a board game. And I did not know I was an asshole to Sierra on the way out. I thought we were both being dramatic with each other. I am pretty sure I made amends with her.

Quote

So for you to say my emotions were "overwhelming" to you when I was working towards the 3 of us going far is a HUGE slap in the face.

We did not talk strategy or us going to f3 from like round 12 to round 6. And overwhelming is such a minuscule word -- it's not even all that negative. You just had a lot of heart to you and it was a lot to take in. It seemed like, from my perspective, you played with your emotions. I see that you think differently.

Monica Culpepper @ 13/4/2015 11:29

I didn't say you were being worse. I just took issue to that word. I don't like the connotation and feel like it demeans sexual assault. But I don't want to get further into that because it gets personal and unnecessary. I don't take issue with anything else you said. I hope you are having fun with me. It is quite a revelation to get a taste of my own medicine. I immediately apologized to Kelley and instantly felt like an ass. It was an in-the-moment remark as if we were playing a board game. And I did not know I was an asshole to Sierra on the way out. I thought we were both being dramatic with each other. I am pretty sure I made amends with her. Quote So for you to say my emotions were "overwhelming" to you when I was working towards the 3 of us going far is a HUGE slap in the face. We did not talk strategy or us going to f3 from like round 12 to round 6. And overwhelming is such a minuscule word -- it's not even all that negative. You just had a lot of heart to you and it was a lot to take in. It seemed like, from my perspective, you played with your emotions. I see that you think differently.

The point I was making is that if you're going to be a jerk to people in the game, calling people out for not being "nice" is hypocritical. No clue how that message was lost in the process of our conversation, but it's not important anymore. I have strong emotions, but I didn't play with them. And because you still haven't provided much of an example that wasn't heresay or from before the first tribe swap, I'm going to maintain the position that you continue to misread the situation. *shrugs* No one cares anymore I sure. So we'll move on.


I walked into this tribal council wondering if I could vote for you without making it about being pissed off at Austin, or without being a bitter juror. And I realized quickly that yes, I could. However, I've called you out at least three times about contradicting yourself in answers, and you've taken not a single opportunity to defend or explain yourself in that regard. When I ask you to explain your claims with examples, you come up with something Austin told you (not good if you're trying to separate your game from his btw) and your own observations from the first two rounds of the game. While it may have been laced with emotional venom, I have yet to ask you to do something outside of the realm of what is normal for a juror.


I know I got heated during this thread. And while I'm not going to apologize for it, I know the particular amount of emotion behind it was extreme. I feel as though I held my composure and my maturity level while playing this game to a very standard I have never achieved in an ORG. So I did not appreciate having that challenged or invalidated by you. Nor being told what words I should and shouldn't say. It is what it is.


Unfortunately, in our case, you did an unfortunate job things. Which I only find sad because I know how well-spoken and intelligent you CAN be, but you're jury management as a whole was disappointing. All you had to do was be the Monica everyone got to know in this game and be humble (and significantly more succinct with your answers) and you would have immensely improved your odds at winning. No clue how the votes are going, so you still may pull out a win. However, if you don't, it will just be some food for thought the next time you find yourself in a final tribal council situation as a finalist. Good luck and congrats either way. You still played an effective (albeit unusual) game, and you should be proud.