First off, congrats to the two of you. Making the finals is no easy feat, so kudos to you.

I want to start off by addressing you both. You are free to comment on anything I say to or about you, and then I have some questions for the two of you.

Austin: I thought we had a pretty good relationship for the latter 50% of this game. When we found ourselves on a tribe together, I was much more likely to side with you/Yve/Katie than anyone else, even people I had a good connection with previously. I even considered you my #1 at certain points. I think you played a great game, you were very strategic and made moves when you needed to in order to propel yourself into the finals. One thing that I, and other jurors have noticed, was that you seemed to intentionally burn a lot of jurors on their way out. In my case, it was more what you said to me than what you did to me.

After you had flipped and voted out Erik, I completely understood your side of the story and why you had to target him. He was planning on going after you and you wanted to strike first. I tried to plead my case to you right then and there, and show that I was going to remain loyal to you. The very next round you didn't follow through with those plans, which was also okay. The thing that hurt me the most is this. When the votes were being read in my boot, and it was obvious I was going home, I asked you a question. I asked you if Erik hadn't gone pursuing your boot, if you would have flipped. Maybe I was trying to project my failures on Erik (<3) for ruining my game at that moment, but regardless of the reason, you told me no. You wouldn't have flipped because there was no reason for you to do so. You told this to me, literally as Lex posted that I had been eliminated. I was wanting you to shoot straight with me (perhaps for the only time) this entire game. I believed you and walked my pretty butt into Ponderosa. Once I got there I soon realized that this was not the case.

You had wanted to oust Erik before he went against you, you even went to Rory the round he was voted out and proposed voting out Erik then to. It really baffles and annoys me that you would just lie to me, for no foreseeable reason, as I was leaving the game. *shrug*

Monica: Oh men. So we barely spoke at all this game. We both find fault in this, but since you are in the finals and I am not, it's on you tonight. The few times you did message me was asking for a joke F2 deal, and some other random mumbo jumbo. Given that we barely spoke, I had no perception of you as a player or as a person. However that quickly changed. Instead of being civil to me, when you clearly knew you had the upperhand, you chose to bully and insult me. Oh hey look! Let's make fun of Kelley, the girl voted most useless in this game, shouldn't have been cast, etc. Now I know you were just fucking around and having fun, but since this was pretty much the only interaction we had, this is the perception I have of you. Now I don't go crying at night because you made fun of me a few times, but it did hurt my feelings at the time and left a very bitter taste in my mouth. I'm sure you had the mindset that I was useless and didn't need to be nice to me, but each juror gets one vote tonight. We're all on an even playing field.

I don't care if you apologize; and if you do, it's going to be hard for me to believe it is genuine anyway.

Now onto the questions for you two,

1. What was the most fun moment you had in this game? Survivor is supposed to be fun, so let me know what you enjoyed the most.

2. What was the most challenging moment for you in this game? This wasn't an easy road to the F2, show me.

"So we barely spoke at all this game. We both find fault in this, but since you are in the finals and I am not, it's on you tonight."

lmao I love the bluntness of it. It is so real.

I know you said you will not find my apology genuine. But let me apologize again. I am sorry for that joke -- it was harsh. And I did apologize -- right away, like three or four times within 30 minutes after I made that unfortunate joke. You did not respond. Which is understandable. But I hope you recognize that that was me genuinely and instantly feeling like I crossed a line and expressed that to you. That was not jury management, that was me realizing a mistake. Obviously, as people have pointed out, I did not really have jury management in the forefront of my mind. So that was really me actually trying to reach out to another human being and making it better.

I definitely got carried away from the excitement of the whole thing. I do that in Scattegories and Monopoly sometimes, as well (invite me to your parties!!). It had nothing to do with you personally, I hope you know. I am sorry your feelings got heart. It was definitely bad timing with me making a similar joke in that TC. I just thought it was absolutely ridiculous that we had not talked once since then, and those times I did send you a jokey f2 deal or mumbo jumbo, it came with no response. I'm glad we had that one convo, I enjoyed that one talk we had.

1. The most fun I had in the game ... hmm. I have to say I enjoyed most of the game, to be quite honest with you. I guess my personality did not rub people the right way, but I was myself and had a great time.

Moments that came to mine: 1. The time I invited Sierra and Caryn (and eventually Austin) into a room entitled "THE FUTURE" and went on a crazy rant to Sierra trying to get her to join my side in a f2 by basically replicating an acid trip. 2. When Sue/Caryn/I first made a Hag Havoc alliance was really exciting -- and it was heightened when Austin/Yve joined it for a round or two because those were wall my favorites together. 3. I do not usually smoke weed, so the one time I've gotten high in the past 3 months coincided with that twist of having the two losing tribes join together AND me getting the idol. I was so shocked and confused and that was fun. 4. Posting a thread in my confessional entitled "PROMINENT MONICA'S OF HISTORY" and typing up a mini-essay about how much I love Monica Lewinsky.

2. Most challenging moment was voting Katie out. I knew that I had no future with Erik/Sierra, but I really loved talking to Katie. Unfortunately, we had not talked for a few rounds so it was very exciting to be back with my day one buddy. But it became clear that Katie/Sierra were tight as hell. It was so risky and dramatic to go against them, and to vote out someone I really enjoyed talking to. I also really enjoyed talking to Kim, so I was shocked to find out she was gunning for me. So I knew I had to stop thinking of this game as a making-friends scenario. I had just started talking to Sue/Caryn so it was a big risk siding with them at that moment.

I felt really awful about it and the last thing Katie said to me was "I love you" so it really strung. But it was a risk that I think paid off, and allowed for Austin to become closer with the other side while solidifying my allies for both of our ultimate benefit. Which obviously was not the plan I set out to do but I knew voting Katie out was the right move at that time. I could see myself making it half as far if I did otherwise.

UGH WAIT lmao i was like "Don't write that much. you already wrote too much in your stupid opening statement"

Hey Kel

After hearing your take on our relationship, I wish we had talked more. I did feel like we had a good (albeit a little sporadic haha) relationship pre-merge. I remember at the Rob vote saying to Yve that I felt like you genuinely were someone that we could work with because I believed you when you said you didn't really know the dynamics or trust anyone at that point. So I felt good about our relationship heading into the merge. But then I felt like we lost touch at that point (looking at our convos we didn't talk for 3 days at one point haha), and I think that's on both of us. Then hearing that Erik was going around telling everyone he could get you to vote for me...I was pretty confused and wary. So that's why I targeted you at the double. I'm not sure having that information would have changed ~too~ much of what happened to be honest, but it certainly could have switched up the order of the vote for sure.

Alright, on to the incident. I'm telling you now: my reason is awful. Really, really, really awful. It's cowardly, it's insulting, and it's going to lose me any chance of getting your vote. So here goes. That double boot was the most paranoid round of the game for me, and I spent the entire time thinking that you/Sierra/Garrett were going to try and turn on Yve/I. I know I was a too icy with you in that conversation before, I didn't trust you at that point (because of Erik's actions), and you were definitely the hardest person for me to read. So after you got voted out, I was still in panic mode. I felt like if I told you the truth and that I would have flipped anyways you were going to tell Sierra, or tell someone on the jury about it who would tell Sierra (girl had connections). Which is stupid as shit. Obviously you wouldn't have told anyone in the game, because you follow the rules. But I was paranoid as hell. Ultimately, I see now that it mostly was just me being a total coward and not fessing up to what I had done. Which is not cute. It's that type of heartless, pointless fear-based move that's going to lose me this game. But it's the truth.

Anyways, your questions!

1. The most fun I had in this game was the night of the auction. It was myself, Sue, Caryn, and Monica staying up late and joking and having fun with the bidding. Caryn was making some hilarious gifs, Sue and I finally talked and she unveiled her cockroach outfit to the world (lmao), and somehow I got wrapped up in a group chat called "Austin Go to Bread". It was just an all-around fun time...for me at least.

2. Maybe it was recency bias, but I want to say that final challenge. Damn that was difficult (cryptograms </3). But in reality, I think the most challenging moment in this game for me had to be the Yve vote. And that's purely on an emotional level, because voting out Yve feels like kicking a puppy. She's such a sweetheart and was a fantastic ally in this game to me.