Host Lex @ 7/4/2015 0:28

Please finish up Rites of Passage if you haven't yet!

UM YOU COULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME PRIVATELY.

Monica: Congrats on the win!



Lex: Thank you!



It felt like a really good win. My heart was definitely pounding. It was crazy! For those that can not see the challenge board, instead of doing those godawful fucking cryptograms, I literally guessed 116 contestants names. While screaming expletives of frustration the entire time. I went through every winner. and then every person who had a "nickname" form this list. lmfao like as if they were going to choose a quote from Jessica "Flicka" Smith. And then I went through the 2nd placers, then 3rd placers ... and boom Rudy.

Imagine my disappointment when the quote was not from legendary third placer Missy "Homie G" Payne.



Anyway.

Back to business:



"Is your decision already made, or is it up in the air? What factors are going into your decision?"

This decision is literally crazy and has been destiny since day one. I was checking through my past confessionals while doing the Rites of Passage. And came across one of my very first confessional posts:

Monica Culpepper @ 23/2/2015 0:30

Alright only two people have come to me -- one was Garret ... And the other was Austin. ... But, as always, I have to figure out what's best for Monica -- not Austin, not Garret -- but Monica.

Isn't it crazy that 42 days later: I have to figure out what's best for Monica -- not for Austin, not for Garrett ... but for Monica.


(does anyone know what she was reacting to in this? I'm so curious. I have completely forgotten)

So anyway cool edgic moments aside ... back to your question: Is my decision already made?

Truth be told .. it pretty much is.

Now that this is the final tribal council before ... uh the Final Tribal Council: might as well get everything out in the open.

Austin and I have had a final two since literally day one. It was casual at first, but then following that Kim vote, in which we realized that everyone else had already really started to play the game ... it intensified. We realized we had to really start playing the game, as well. Every boot and round since then we have both told literally each other everything.

Following the Katie vote, it became increasingly obvious that two very uncooperative sides were starting to form. And coincidentally, we appeared to naturally be on different sides. It was at this point that we (or mainly Austin) had the real novel idea to ... play both sides. It seemed kind of impossible at first, but worked out pretty perfectly.

We both had to pretend to be stupid or ignorant on a lot of votes or relationships. I think I had to pretend to be more ignorant than him. We also had to pretend to be more distant than we were. Even though we talked every single day and had a real friendship. It does not invalidate any of the friendships either of us made on our own (Yve, Sierra, Caryn, Sue, Erik, Rory, Stephen) because we did still very much act on our own individual motives. But we always had this pipe dream of us being the final 2.

So I feel very inclined to honor that dream of ours.

Because I feel like he would do the same.



And that feels real groovy.

Garrett!! I really got to enjoy talking to you, especially gaming with you these past few rounds. We would have been such a fun team if we paired up earlier in the game. Unfortunately you were very tight with other people. Which you underscored in the Rites of Passage send-offs. You are a very popular guy and a very fun dude and have not really betrayed anyone unlike me and Austin. So you seem like a tougher fight in the f2. On top of a day one promise.

BUT. I still want to hear your thoughts. Why should I bring you to the finals? Please be honest as possible and please post it in this TC and not AIM. Or conversely: Why should I not bring Austin? Whatever you want.

I know this will probably be my final words and I'm about to head to Ponderosa, but I just want to get it all out.. I came into this game knowing it would probably be my last ORG in forever, as my life is going to take turns from here on out. I am at this point in life where I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, whether it's the right thing to do or not, but I want to take some risks and try to fully embrace my life, so that's why I decided to go solo backpacking looking for my very own Great Perhaps. I want to look back when I am old and be happy and proud of the things I did in my life. I tried to take the same approach in this game; I didn't exactly know what I was doing most of the time, but I wanted to take risks and have no regrets of the game I played, so that I could look back when it was all over and say that I'm proud of myself.

Did I take those risks? Probably not, probably not as much as either of the two people who are sitting next to me right now. They truly have me flabbergasted. Flabbergasted that those two of all people had a Final Two deal from the get go. I came into this Final Three thinking I had it all figured out, I was gonna cruise to the finals with either of you, never would I have thought that you two had it all figured out already. I was totally unaware of most things that happened during the game and all I did was rely on other people. I relied on Sierra, I relied on Erik, I ultimately even relied on you & Austin. And where did it bring me? Nowhere. Never did I take things in my own hands, like Austin did, like you did.

Do I regret the game I played? No. Even though I didn't invest nearly as much time as y'all into this game, I can still look back at a truly amazing experience, having made some true friends I wouldn't have want to miss. If you would ask me if I deserved to make this Final Tribal Council, then it would probably be no. I can make my peace with a finale of you & Austin, but the question is ofcourse: can you make peace with a finale of you & Austin? Cause isn't the only reason you are sitting here right now, because of Austin? Hadn't it been for Austin, you would have probably been destroyed somewhere along with Sue, Caryn & Rory. And what can you put against that, what benefit did you have for Austin? Sure, you helped preventing your evil hags from targeting Austin, but you were always the minion to Austin.

Please ask yourself: what can truly set you apart from Austin? Sure there's the loyalty card for Austin, I & with me the entire jury would probably greatly admire you for honouring your final two deal. Loyalty however is not the key part of this game. Ask it to Colby, ask it to Woo, they both ended up shooting themselves in the foot at this very same moment. I will gladly jump in to be your Kassandra McQuillen, and even if you don't, I still want to thank you, Austin and the rest of the jury for this journey of a lifetime. If this game would be an equilavent to the life I have ahead of me I think I found my Great Perhaps, I can look back and see all the decisions I made and how they impacted my game and even though I wonder what it could have been (the perhaps) I ultimately don't truly care what it could have been like because I loved this perfectly imperfect game!

Peace out glamazons.

It's moments like these that I wish I had chosen a more giffable contestant to compete with y'all on that front but like....I can't find a single Austin Carty gif....lmao.

Anyways, the first thing I want to say is that everything Monica said is very much true. We are literally a Day 1 alliance. The first night of the game (Oscar night!), we made an alliance and that's helped carry both of us through this entire game. We've had our ups and downs at times, but at the end of the day I truly believe that what got both of us this far was our dependence on one another. In my mind, there honestly was never any other option than us getting to the Final Two together. It's not only a great story, but also something we talked about for so long that looked simply impossible. We had insurmountable odds to get to where we are, being on opposite sides and having conflicting interests

Now for the mushy part, which I already told Monica yesterday but I'm going to go again anyways. You kept me sane in this game, girl. You were the person I could vent my anger to, the person who I could ask for advice, the person who would always give me an honest answer. Without you in this game you know I would have gone insane. I loved so many moments of our game together, whether it was playing dumb with other people and loling about it to each other, learning that we were a perfect example of a Cancer/Libra friendship (like SPOT ON), or researching Serengeti history together. And more of course. Thanks for the memories girl <3

But that's all personal stuff. I think there's other reasons why you should take me to the finals over Garrett. His perspective shows a huge ignorance of our relationship this game which is understandable since up until this morning he didn't know we were aligned this closely. In no way were you my "minion" in this game. We both know that there we more than a few moments where we disagreed and had to just let the other person do what they wanted. And on top of that, there were plenty of times where information you gave me was just as helpful in helping save my ass. If I "saved you" from getting booted a la Rory/Caryn/Sue you did the same thing to help me avoid the Garrett/Sierra/Kelley/Erik thing that was going on if I had stuck with them. It was more mutually beneficial than he realizes.

On top of that, I think it's pretty clear that in the past few rounds I've pretty much pissed off like half of the jury. Sierra put in her vote "RIP Sierra's Jury Vote" which is a sign that my social game was not up to par. I think people think I'm fake or boring or cocky or all of the above at this point. Garrett, on the other hand has not really got any blood on his hands and has great relationships with most of the jury. Just look at his Rites of Passage, where he basically was like "Love you all <3 <3"". Plus, he has the "I survived being a target X amount of times" thing going for him, since he was targeted a bunch in this game and survived through it all. But what it really comes down to is that people like you and Garrett more than me. People don't seem to like me very much anymore lol.

Anways, I know that you have to do what's best for Monica. I'd love for our impossible dream to come true because we both know how insane and awesome that would be. And once again, congrats on winning that final immunity, that was crazy hard. Good luck with your decision!

Great points made by both of you. Love ya both. Hands down the best tribal of the season!

Garrett is right: Austin has had the more obvious game than I have had, so it makes sense to reward him as a gamer and see me as someone he 'dragged'. That makes sense because .... my whole game has only just been revealed in the past twelve hours lmfao.

On the other hand Austin is right too: It has been cooperative, the entire way. With us both making our own sacrifices and benefitting each other.

Also lmfao FUCK I completely forgot that Garrett was just almost as much as a target cockroach as Sue. That just speaks to Garrett's overall likability and survival nature. Austin has really only been a target once, maybe twice (hey Erik and Sierra :-* <3) while I have been a target like four times? And an unsuspecting strategic force. I have faith that I can prove I outwitted, outplayed, and, eventually, outlasted Austin. I feel like that is my final ~*~ challenge ~*~.

So with that being said, I'm going to fulfill the day one promise. See ya at the finals, Austin. Sorry, Garrett. <3. We would have been a hilarious, glam final two. Good luck with the Great Perhaps. Be happy knowing your final ORG (for the time being) was a really great showing :-).

I'm going go make the parchment now. During my lunch break. I can't wait for this game to be over so I no longer awkwardly am all up on a thing called "Sausage Island" among coworkers.

Just because the game is over doesn't mean you'll ever not be "all up" on Sausage Island. You never do leave...

Yes but I can be "all up" on Sausage Island in the privacy of my home, not making parchments during lunch breaks cuz the deadline is during work hours.

Not that I'm complaining, of course! I'll just never live down my coworker finding me doing one of our puzzles (I think the one that determined the final pre-merge tribes, it was of the logo), laughing at me asking what is up with that, and me screaming, "IT'S FOR MY MOM OK". She still sometimes references "puzzles for my mom" to this day.