I feel so incredibly sad right now... Marisa was one of the people who I've really come to love and adore and feel close to out here... second to none honestly except for maybe Ken. Watching her go out like that felt so yucky, knowing that I could have saved her with my Hidden Immunity Idol... the truth is that I really did want to play it, but if I had, it would have only solidified my fate as one of the next two to go; Marisa and I, we both would have ended up heading to the jury house anyway. I think I might actually have a chance now, to make it deep, but of course anything could happen... ugh. I'm happy knowing that I stuck by Marisa until the very end, voting for Bill with her... that's more than anyone else can say. Still, I feel like a rotten person, knowing that I could have done more to help my friend. I just want to curl up into a ball and disappear right now...

I'm a little bit tipsy right now, so please excuse any potential sloppiness but... it's auction time! This is my absolute favorite event on Survivor... like ever, so naturally I am beyond excited! I'm gonna get myself some peanut butter and chocolate, a nice bubble bath and maybe even some cool prizes too! I mean, what's not to love? If I see Bill get a plate full of loquats, it'll be the icing on the delicious Moroccan cake that's sure to be up for bid!

Overall I think that the auction went well. I didn't get my bubble bath but I did get some peanut butter, some chocolate and some pizza so that was amazing! Bill bought the Immunity Necklace, which y'know, I actually don't think him getting it is as bad as I originally thought it might be. The truth is, I'm pretty sure Bill would be staying this round regardless, so it probably won't affect much; he would have been a nice decoy target though going into this Tribal Council.

Since Marisa left I've been trying really hard to branch out and build some solid trust with people. Betsy and I, we've bonded a lot over the past few days and while I know that she's a really smart player and very perceptive, I honestly do trust her. After hearing from Ken that she pretty much already suspected me of having Sebou 's Idol, I took it upon myself last night to just go ahead and confide that information in her directly. It was a big gamble, but hopefully it'll solidify trust between us and she'll want me around. My impression is that it went well.

I also kinda had to fess up about the Idol to Jonathan today too, which I hadn't really planned on doing, but he kind of put me on the spot. I just have to hope that he's not gonna screw me over. J'Tia has hinted to me that she assumes I have it as well so I'm not sure how long it'll be before it's public access information... still it beats the alternative, which would be lying about it and coming across as a real Slim Shady. I just have to cross my fingers and hope that I've put my faith in the right people.

As of right now, Ken and I are working on wedging ourselves in between two other pairs, those being Betsy and JR from the Rejects Tribe and Jonathan and J'Tia from Dadès . If all goes according to plan, then hopefully Charlie or Eddie will be the one sent packing, but in this game you can never really be sure. I'm absolutely scared to death right now.

Tonight is gonna be crazy. When you combine Yul's clue that he won at the auction with the clue that Ken found today, it's clear that the Idol is hidden somewhere on or near a rock on the eastern side of our encampment... translation being: pretty much Eddie or J'Tia has it for sure. Knowing that I'm getting at least some votes tonight, I pretty much have to bank on my own Idol if I'm playing smart. If Eddie doesn't play an Idol then he's going home as planned and we'll all know that J'Tia has the other Idol, otherwise it's gonna be a wild revote of an evening. It's crunch time mother truckers; time to get scrappy.

Looking more closely at the clue Ken found...



I think that J'Tia most likely has the new Idol. Move not towards the middle? Seek where the rocks tower? All of that has to be referring to the northeastern edge of camp, in the cove where the two big stones are stacked... AKA where J'Tia began her hunt... HMM. I'm like 95% sure.