Here goes...

- I'm finding myself really battling discouragement right now. I can't seem to catch a break in this game. I've done some self-evaluation a lot lately, and I really feel like the bulk of this bad luck is completely out of my control. The Outcasts tribe has turned out to be one of the most epically miserable assimilation of misfits I've ever seen. We've got psychos and socially awkward people and people who like to stir the pot and people who can't catch a break no matter how hard they try. Losing that challenge was about all it took to push my discouragement to unprecedented levels.

- Once again, I really enjoyed this challenge. I hate that the outcome was what it was, but I was really getting into the challenge during the 15-20 minutes I was working on it. It required a surprising amount of patience and technique, while demanding mostly someone who is organized and can keep up with what they have finished and what they still have left to do. I originally attacked the challenge that I would approach it with a steady attack every 7 seconds or something like that, but I quickly realized that wasn't realistic. I didn't do as well as I had hoped, but I ended up being right in the middle of the pack with the rest of the cast. That was definitely reassuring for me.

- My social game has taken a serious hit in recent days. I think that has as much to do with a very business holiday and weekend schedule, but I've struggled to find the time to chat with others here lately. I don't know what JR or Abi or Peter are thinking really, because I haven't spoken to any of them at all recently. I desperately need to make an effort to fix that, but I don't know when that will be. I need to right that ship before any twists or merges take place.

- That leads me to my next point: you have to think something is coming up soon. I feel like people are once again starting to settle in and be comfortable with where they are at, so I'm personally hoping the game gets a good shake up here soon. I feel like a Sausage Link is probably lingering right around the corner, but I may be wrong. I also can't help but wonder if the merge isn't getting ready to hit us soon. Maybe the combination of the two could happen and really throw this game into high gear. I'm craving some strategizing and manipulation in this game, though. Up to this point, it hasn't been anything like what I thought it would be like.

- I think I'm finally over Abi's shenanigans. Just like Nay's shit got old to me last round, Abi is really starting to work on my nerves, too. She is a good conversationalist and her personality and persona alone bring a lot of drama to the game that could be particularly useful once the merge hits. Unfortunately, I'm not sure we can continue to afford to watch her suck it up royally in challenges and drag her along just so she can create some friction with others later. If we don't take her out now, it won't take long after that for the others to finally get their revenge on her. She has more than her share of enemies so far.

- From a strategic standpoint, I'm seriously considering trying to manipulate my position from here on out and take advantage of the swing position I am in. I don't feel any particular connection to the majority of people in Sebou, and I obviously have no practical ties to Dades. And it would take a fool to feel like I owed anything to the outcast tribe. My only choice strategically is going to have to be to drive a wedge between allies down the road while simultaneously surrounding myself with people I like and feel like I can work well with. I wish I had an alliance right now that was controlling the majority and sitting pretty for the late stages of the game, but that just doesn't exist. I'm going to have to get crafty in the second half of the game.

That's all for now. I'm tired and ready to put this hellacious round behind me.


Betsy