When I won Big Brother 12, Julie, I didn't have to do much in the early going. I had my Brigade, Brendan and Rachel were the worst, and we were picking off the really shitty players in the house. I'm having to work a little bit harder here on Sausage Island, but I feel like we've now moved on past the initial stage of the game and we'll be seeing stronger strategic players step forward in the coming days.



Tonights challenge is live and we've been told to update our bootlists. Most of us have been speculating that we'll be doing a tribe swap or another Sausage Links round... maybe both!!! J'tia approached me earlier today to peg down my thoughts about upcoming situations. She told me she was very interested in voting off Abi if we had to do a TC this round and overall she reiterated that she trusts Jonathan, Eddie, and Charlie. If it's a Sausage Links round I think I wouldn't mind falling to the bottom again if it allows the current "power players" on my tribe to feel more comfortable.... as long as one of Abi, Peter, etc. were down there with me.

Remember when I thought everything was going to go smoothly in the first confessional of this round...



Tonight has been an absolute disaster. As predicted, we had a sausage link round. In our first challenge, we had to play the chopping game. This was actually the challenge that I had predicted, and I did pretty well. It got down to myself, Charlie, Dan, Eddie, and Jonathan. I didn't feel comfortable upsetting Charlie or Jonathan too much, so I told Eddie I was going for him and that I was comfortable with him knocking me out of the challenge. Once Abi and Peter were eliminated from the competition, I felt secure that I would be a part of the chain. Like winning HOH, winning the comp prolly isn't a great idea... I figured I could have Dan do the work for me!

Now, things didn't work out how we expect, but even if I had not thrown the challenge I woulda made relatively the same decision that Dan did. We just were not prepared for this twist.

I went from being happily pleased about an Abi/Peter/Debbie bottom 3 to being horrified at my new tribe of 6. Not because I don't love them, they're all awesome. That, however, is the problem.... we get along TOO well.



I am aware of the Jonathan/Eddie/J'tia/Charlie alliance. If you remember Eddie told me back in round 2 or so. For the longest time I was comfortable with that because I knew I"d be safe on my tribe and being kinda middle of the road would be a good thing. My floating, however, Julie, has bit me in the ass. I'm now in the minority on this awesome tribe!

Poor Dan. I think he's in trouble and we won the first part of tonight's events. The dude has literally done nothing wrong, but I think it's him or me. Hopefully my social connections have been stronger up to this point.

I took a very big risk tonight, but I think it was necessary. Jonathan had been talking for quite a long time with me tonight.

Jonathan Libby: (11:32:03 PM) true i don't even know what would happen if we went back to TC
Hayden Moss: (11:33:49 PM) Well i was certainly hoping to be part of a 3, but i also know everyone's had a lot of time to build relationships
Jonathan Libby: (11:34:00 PM) a three would be really beneficial
Hayden Moss: (11:34:01 PM) so i'm just gonna remain as positive as possible in the meantime
Hayden Moss: (11:35:38 PM) yeah i mean in a group of five it's the way to go
Jonathan Libby: (11:35:48 PM) yep i totally agree


Jonathan Libby: (11:48:06 PM) i mean, in an ideal world, the 5 of us would go all the way because I really like this group.
Jonathan Libby: (11:48:53 PM) but i mean, who knows what might happen. i'm always a fan of a small, tight group that can feel things out come merge
Hayden Moss: (11:48:54 PM) well, yeah, and if you don't feel comfortable crossing that bridge till we have to i understand... i just know we all lost a lot of our sense of security tonight
Jonathan Libby: (11:50:01 PM) are you suggesting we work together, my friend?
Hayden Moss: (11:50:50 PM) yeah, and I don't want to say it to be malicious to any other the others who i love
Hayden Moss: (11:51:13 PM) but i'd be willing to be on a team with ya for sure, i've thought that since round 2


onathan Libby: (11:52:48 PM) i'm totally down
Hayden Moss: (11:56:09 PM) Can I tell you something, then?
Jonathan Libby: (11:56:16 PM) yeah for sure
Hayden Moss: (11:56:30 PM) And I'm gonna trust ya cuz I know Dan isn't out the door yet and you could totally tattle on me, haha
Hayden Moss: (11:56:42 PM) But, I was a little shocked that you did kinda wanna talk about working with me
Jonathan Libby: (11:56:56 PM) why's that?
Hayden Moss: (11:57:02 PM) Cuz I did kinda hear a couple rounds ago about a 4 person alliance that was between you and charlie and jtia and eddie
Hayden Moss: (11:57:22 PM) and that, specifically, myself and Dan were to hang around to be the 5 and 6
Jonathan Libby: (11:57:53 PM) ah, who told you that?
Hayden Moss: (11:58:11 PM) Which, I did hear from Eddie. He and I have had a good relationship, but when he told me he said not to worry, that I'd be fine
Hayden Moss: (11:58:21 PM) and i think he said the same to Dan
Hayden Moss: (11:58:38 PM) obviously none of us suspected this, and honestly I've never been freaked out or felt like I was on the outside
Hayden Moss: (11:59:07 PM) And I love Eddie and I really do continue to trust him... its just, ya know, I'm watching Dan go in this vote
Jonathan Libby: (11:59:27 PM) do you have any loyalties to Dan?
Hayden Moss: (11:59:29 PM) and I know I can't just sit around and hope he saves me, I can't restrict my relationships with you
Hayden Moss: (11:59:46 PM) Dan approached Eddie and I about an alliance round 1
Hayden Moss: (11:59:51 PM) so, yeah, he's been hangin around
Hayden Moss: (12:00:09 AM) but I wasn't gonna try to get Eddie to tie a vote and draw rocks or whatever
Hayden Moss: (12:00:40 AM) So if the tribe was gonna vote out Dan, I mean it's gonna suck whoever goes, so my plan's just been to kinda go with what you guys want and try to rebuild my game before we go to TC again
Jonathan Libby: (12:00:51 AM) well
Jonathan Libby: (12:01:46 AM) first of all, I won't tell Eddie that you told me. That'd be shitty of me.
Hayden Moss: (12:02:02 AM) i do appreciate that... like i said i know i'm still vulnerable
Jonathan Libby: (12:02:19 AM) but. the three of us could definitely work together.
Hayden Moss: (12:02:32 AM) meaning you eddie and I?
Jonathan Libby: (12:02:40 AM) yeah
Jonathan Libby: (12:02:41 AM) i mean
Jonathan Libby: (12:02:44 AM) eddie obviously trusts you
Jonathan Libby: (12:03:23 AM) he told me earlier today that he trusts me a lot, and he's been slipping your name into convos frequently so he's definitely trying to subtly save you.
Hayden Moss: (12:03:36 AM) yeah, and i hope its clear i'm not trying to burn him
Hayden Moss: (12:03:46 AM) i just wanted to express to you that i kinda knew what the situation was
Jonathan Libby: (12:03:52 AM) no i know you're not
Hayden Moss: (12:03:55 AM) and why i would be asking a lot for you to trust and work with me








Ok, so if you didn't read, Jonathan said he'd be interested in working with me past another vote. To show him trust, I took a risk and told him that Eddie spilled to me about their 4-person alliance. Jonathan said he wasn't going to tell anyone, and suggested a 3-way deal between he, I, and Eddie.

Oh gosh, hmmm, I dunno how to feel about that. I mean, I think it only hurts me if I'm suddenly next to go over Dan. Most likely, it'll change nothing and I'll still be at the bottom. However, there is that small chance that I put a dent in that 4-person alliance. I felt like that was a risk I needed to take tonight, not at the Final 5 when everyone knew I was desperate. If that actually worked, which I'm still skeptical of, hot damn I got lucky.

I took a second big risk this morning in a conversation that I had with J'tia. Initially this conversation was just about how Dan is going but how a few of us might have to say that we're voting for her to just keep peace around camp. No big deal there.

---

Side Note: J'tia had this paranoia that everyone was telling her what she wanted to hear but that we were blindsiding her because she maybe has the idol.



The idol wasn't on my mind whatsoever until you started babbling about it, J'tia. The more she wants to talk about not having the idol the more I feel like maybe she DID stumble upon it. I dunno, we really have been all over that map so I wouldn't be shocked if J'tia or anyone else found it.

---

Ok, that was a quick little aside, back to the action. Everything was pretty basic with my convo with J'tia until I offhandedly said that Dan was telling me about how I would be next to go if he left.

J'tia Mor: (1:09:42 PM) I just really don't know what gives him the inclination that we're together.
J'tia Mor: (1:04:08 PM) I'm just like where did he get that from?

This opened the door to me once again spilling Eddie's secret about the four person alliance on Dades. As with Jonathan, I specifically tried to avoid making it look like I was throwing Eddie under the bus, but instead used the information as a token of good will, a declaration of trust. In both Jonathan and J'tia's cases, they seemed relieved to not have to pretend like it wasn't a thing... and I learned more about exactly how the group came together:

J'tia Mor: (1:16:07 PM) When you get a player like Eddie, you kinda have to make him feel special.
J'tia Mor: (1:16:25 PM) Because if you don't, you'll get royally fucked.
J'tia Mor: (1:16:36 PM) IDK what it was to get me further in our tribe, connection wise. But I came online one day and this is legit, you have to believe me. I came online and I had a message from Jonathan.
J'tia Mor: (1:17:21 PM) Jonathan said to me that Eddie was suggesting an alliance of three.
J'tia Mor: (1:17:37 PM) Now, Jonathan was my first friend on the tribe.
J'tia Mor: (1:17:45 PM) So when I got this message from him
J'tia Mor: (1:18:10 PM) I decided that it was the best thing. I got to have Jonathan, someone I like, and Eddie, someone who I like and is connected.
J'tia Mor: (1:18:19 PM) Who knew that the commitment would also include Charlie.
J'tia Mor: (1:18:51 PM) Thats beyond me. But he was invited, along with you and Dan.
J'tia Mor: (1:18:59 PM) And that was our majority. Or at least I thought


So J'tia is telling me that she's close to Jonathan and Eddie, but she isn't quite as big of a fan of Charlie's, and that it's Eddie keeping Charlie in the alliance. Ok, cool. So I told J'tia that the next time our group has to vote that I'd be willing to vote for Charlie with her and Jonathan... also referring back and that I like Eddie too... but his relationship with Charlie seems threatening to the group, reflecting back J'tia's feelings.

Again, this could blow up in my face. I have NO IDEA what I'm going to tell Eddie, and this Hayden/Jonathan/J'tia voting block is FAR from a done deal. They could very easily just be placating me and be planning to send me home now or next. Regardless I think I've learned more about the dynamics of those four players, and I hope that I'm better off for it.

- Dan's prolly going home. He's a nice dude but he's just not worth saving.
- I spilled the beans about my knowledge of their 4-person alliance to Jonathan and J'tia seperately. I SEEMS like both convos went well and they both want to have 3-way alliances in the coming rounds.
- J'tia is resentful of Charlie's place in the alliance. J'tia may also have an idol, but it's hard to tell because she's crazy.


Time for some funnier posts in this confessional. How about a humorous observation:

It's fitting that in the "sausage link" it was five dudes in a row before a chick got linked to our sausage chain.

And the saga continues:




J'tia blew up my spot to Eddie before I could talk to him myself. Damn. ok. I can fix this. I immediately start by staying it was J'tia who came to ME about this, and that I only casually mentioned that I knew those 4 were a thing. Then, I fixated on how J'tia doesn't love Charlie.




I'll skip the next little bit, but eventually I did smooth things over with Eddie, I think. Who knows, he may hate me now and I might go next. Whatever, I needed to try to do this now and not wait.





It's funny... the outcome of this TC is already kinda decided. However, this round is still a mess.

Thought we were done? Nope..... nope.....





Ok so J'tia got home from work and Eddie and I wanted to both talk to her to let her know that we talked about her PM and hashed things out. What followed.... I still can't make sense of. She totally lost it.

J'tia started off by completely denying the PM. Then, she tried to reference a different PM. I finally nailed her down (giggity) on the PM and she was still deflecting. Then she got super defensive..... I wasn't even accusing her of any wrongdoing!!!!!


Hayden Moss: (6:46:10 PM) its fine, eddie and i worked it out
J'tia Mor: (6:46:15 PM) Eh
Hayden Moss: (6:46:16 PM) but i need to work things out with you now
Hayden Moss: (6:46:24 PM) because i feel like you think im mad
J'tia Mor: (6:46:31 PM) Oh
J'tia Mor: (6:46:32 PM) so you
Hayden Moss: (6:46:32 PM) and clearly we're not on the same page with communication yet
J'tia Mor: (6:46:39 PM) you're comparing notes with eddie
Hayden Moss: (6:47:04 PM) what?
Hayden Moss: (6:48:24 PM) ya there?
J'tia Mor: (6:50:17 PM) I am
Hayden Moss: (6:50:32 PM) what did you mean about comparing notes?
J'tia Mor: (6:50:45 PM) Oh nothing.
Hayden Moss: (6:51:01 PM) hmm, i'm not sure i buy that
Hayden Moss: (6:51:20 PM) i'm concerned you aren't digging me right now
J'tia Mor: (6:51:27 PM) I'm not digging either of you
Hayden Moss: (6:51:44 PM) why not?
Hayden Moss: (6:52:27 PM) i walked in to this thinking everything was gonna be ok
J'tia Mor: (6:54:41 PM) ITs whatever at this point
J'tia Mor: (6:54:43 PM) I voted Dan
Hayden Moss: (6:55:03 PM) I mean, that's what i'll do too but I wanna be ok with you
J'tia Mor: (6:56:05 PM) We're fine lol I just need to cool off
Hayden Moss: (6:57:02 PM) yeah, this just completely didn't go how i pictured it... i was going to originally call this a net positive cuz i thought it was getting us to kinda put everything all out there
Hayden Moss: (6:57:14 PM) and really build up that trust
Hayden Moss: (6:57:22 PM) but now i'm feeling a lil bummed out
J'tia Mor: (6:57:28 PM) Yeah well me too.
J'tia Mor: (6:57:47 PM) I can't stand this tribe right now. From you telling me what I didn't want to hear, to coming online and having my allies explain themselves.
J'tia Mor: (6:57:57 PM) There should never be a situation where I have to be given an explanation.
Hayden Moss: (6:59:46 PM) well, i mean that doesn't make me feel good, but at least its out there now





Honestly I think it'll all be ok. J'tia just needs some time to cool off. We honestly need some immunity on this tribe to let some of this anxiety pass.