1. Kelly Goldsmith
2. Kathy Vavrick-O'brien
3. Peih-Gee Law
4. Leann Slaby
5. Dave Ball
6. Dan Kay
7. Danni Boatwright
8. John Cody
9. Jamie Newton
10. Richard Hatch
11. Chet Welch
12. Dreamz Herd
13. Laura Alexander
14. Greg Buis
15. Yau Man Chan
16. Todd Herzog
17. Nick Stanbury
Post Edited by Ciera Eastin @ 20th Jan 2014 1:03 AM
This swap was a godsend apparently. Also, this might help reduce the threat on my shoulders, and I'm in a good standing on my tribe I think, SO! Silver lining people!
No video for today! I look and feel really bleh and every time I tried to record I sounded really bland and uninterested and I wouldn't want you guys to suffer through a long video of me talking in a boring monotone voice. Anyway, I wanted to give an update now that I've had a chance to reflect and process the many happenings of this round! As you all know, I was shaken, hurt, shocked, betrayed...pretty much everything last night. I was really surprised that I was ranked low, but now that I know the full story, it's so frightening that I was THAT close to being blindsided. One immunity loss and bam, donezers.
I don't know why it's always such a shock to me. I find myself in this exact predicament constantly. People tell me that I'm their close ally, but for whatever reason, they flip on me and I'm on the bottom without even realizing it. I keep thinking maybe this time it'll change, maybe this time luck will be on my side, but I have learned many things from this round. One of them being, I will not rely on luck. I've always been scared of making big moves. I don't want to hurt people, so I pray for a miracle that I won't have to and someone else will do it for me. But in the game of Survivor, I can't be afraid of that anymore. Everyone else is out to hurt me, no matter how much they guilt me into thinking otherwise. Sure, I could play an honest game and a loyal game and be everyone's friend and sit in the jury, but that won't win me this game. It's funny how things can change in an instant. Just a few days ago I was going off about how much I loved my tribe, and all of the faith I put into my alliance, and how I was so happy that for once I wasn't on the outs. And look at me now!
Last night, I felt that everyone in the entire world had betrayed me. I honestly, in my mind, couldn't trust a soul. Laura came to me and we talked about how we were both shocked that we were so low. I told her that if she picked me, I would be loyal to her, because at that point I was just desperate for a foothold in this game. I needed people who would be loyal to me, desperately, so I went to someone in a similar position as myself. I decided to pick Dave since, out of anyone who promised me they would be loyal to me, I found him to be the most genuine. After realizing Kelly had nothing to do with me being on the bottom, we quickly snagged her into our tribe so she wouldn't be in trouble elsewhere. When she asked me who she should pick, I suggested Nick, who I thought was a strong member of Saptano. I wanted someone who was in the top tier to be a first boot on the tribe, since NuSaptano is basically made up of a bunch of outsiders and rejects. We're like the breakfast club, pretty much.
When it came to the challenge, I knew I was not going to win. It was a pecking order challenge, and it became very clear to me that I was at the very bottom of that pecking order. I did my best to make sure that Dreamz, Richard and Danni would not have immunity, as at the time I assumed those were the ones who ranked me so low. However, I did not expect that of all people to turn on me, Kathy would be the first. Fucking Kathy! The loveable older mom who I correctly predicted to be the maternal figure of the tribe, a stone cold gamebot? According to Danni, she flipped on me long ago. That shocked me more than Danni's betrayal, I think. I honestly didn't think she had it in her, but I feel like that decision is going to end up screwing her and helping me out a ton.
Danni's reasons for flipping on me were basically all in her head. Apparently, I forced her to do the challenge when she asked me if she could sit out, and that I was only looking after Kelly's needs. I reflected on literally every conversation we had and NOWHERE did she ever state that she wanted to sit out. I wasn't even the one who suggested that Kelly sit out. I, at first, approached Dreamz to sit out, and he pointed out that Kelly had posted that she would sit out if nobody else wanted to so I used that as a basis. If Danni was so against playing in the challenge, she definitely could have approached me or at least explicitly stated that she did not want to play. It's absolutely ridiculous that she would flip on her alliance for something as miniscule. We both apologized to one another and everything would have been fine, but here I've heard both Leann and Yau tell me that she is STILL talking shit about how me and my mafia are coming after her. She's literally Sarge 2.0.
I can see a lot of high-listers being targeted at this stage. The misfit toys are aware, and they're out for blood, and that should be a terrifying thought to the populars. The person with the biggest target on her back now would have to be the loveable Peih-Gee, my supposed F2. If the people on my tribe would be willing to turn on me in a whim, there's no doubt in my mind that a great and aware player such as PG would do the same if she had to. And even if she was true to me, and really did want to go to the end with me, her popularity and experience would trump me in a heartbeat. Plans have changed concerning my strategy, and unfortunately, PG is no longer a valid ally for me. I like this group I have on NuSaptano a lot though. I have Kelly, the only one from my old tribe who's never lied to me. Dave, the guy who pledged his loyalty to me early on. Laura, who was on the outs of her tribe, and Greg, who wants nothing to do with Lugata. I think someone I'm in a better position now than I was before, but considering my awful self awareness, that probably means I'm going home tonight! I guess the only thing I can do right now is hope and pray that everything goes to plan and that Nick leaves.
I guess I should back up. Originally, Greg was supposed to be the vote, because we wanted to make a decision that everyone felt comfortable with and Laura was not really feeling the Nick vote, despite Dave and I realizing that Nick leaving would be the best option for our tribe. I approached Laura and was like, "Hey so, I know you think that Nick is willing to work with you, but I honestly think he's just using you for safety on the tribe." She didn't really believe me at first...until he approached her about voting out either me or Kelly. I know Gwad is being targeted everywhere else; that's sort of a given. But Kelly and I aren't really associated with everyone else on that tribe, so hopefully everyone realizes that getting rid of us does nothing but help the people they really want out. Anyway, seeing as how Laura told me about Nick wanting me out, I assume that means she's with us. The vote tonight should be unanimous, but I guess you never know! I'll be sure to post a live reaction of the TC results so that if I'm blindsided you all will get to see my many tears and make a GIF out of it. I don't think I'm missing anything, oops if I am, but I'm tired of writing so I'm going to end it here! Bye!
