Dying over this merge tribe name. It's literally the best thing ever. I've finally fulfilled my life-Lóng dream of naming a merge tribe, AND honoring my beloved Melinda. :D I hope she sees it and knows that it came from me. I MISS HER <3

Woo is pushing HARD to get Jaison out this round, to me at least. I think he blames me for getting Alina out last round. I really went into that round thinking it was the best thing for us, but by the end he had me doubting myself. Maybe having her as a shield would have been better after all? I'm not sure. But the ball was already rolling and it would have looked weird for me to stop it, I feel like. I didn't campaign super hard for Alina, I feel like I kind of nudged a little in a direction it was already going, then took a step back. I know Woo sees Jaison and Alina as being equal, like he had Alina and I have Jaison, but I honestly don't even see that as being true. I felt like Alina ran her mouth over and over and like really fucked with him emotionally. Which honestly like, made me feel protective of him on a personal level, because I fucking adore him and you don't get to mess with him and get away with it. :P It was kind of like watching Dana run back to Kat time and time again in Twisted; like what are you doing?? I don't understand the logic. Meanwhile Alina's sending pictures of her fucking boobs to Jaison what the fuck.

And I know Woo has it in his head that Jaison and Nick can't be trusted, but I don't understand why. I don't see where they've done anything to be considered untrustworthy. He thinks they've told Alina things, but they're things that Alina could have EASILY inferred herself, like assuming that they promised us they would vote with us if we voted out Melinda. Like why else would we have voted Melinda off? That's not exactly a crazy assumption for Alina to make, I don't think that necessarily means they ran their mouths to her. Or even if they did, I still really truly believe I'm Jaison's number one, or at least tied with Nick. It's frustrating that Woo won't calm down and trust me to handle it.

So yeah. I don't think Woo is going to openly push for Jaison to go, but I think he's going to grab the opportunity if it presents itself. I think he feels a little exposed after being in the middle of the Alina thing. So hopefully that will buy me a round or two to figure out what I want to do. Because Jaison IS a strong social player, and if he's managed to build this strong of a bond with me, has he done it with others? Idk. I'm not sure what the perception of him is, I guess I'll feel it out. I'm afraid of getting blindsided by Jaison, is he making me feel this safe because he's going to cut me later? I don't THINK so but like... that's a really shitty surprise that you never want to find out the hard way. :P

I felt like we came dangerously close to losing Nick last night, and it wasn't because of things Alina was saying, it was because he doesn't talk to people. It sucks because people interpret that as shadiness, but really Nick is actually very sweet, he just has a hard time with the social aspect. Woo was telling me last night that he wants to cut Nick with Jaison, because why would Nick ever trust him after the Melinda round, and my response was because Nick needs friends! If Woo's big argument for keeping Alina was that she had nobody else, take a look at Nick. He's also from Lóng and has nobody but me, Jaison, and Woo. We're going to be cutting someone who's loyal to us. Like we argue about this all the time, I just hope that if I end up losing this battle, Jaison and Nick see this after and know that I'm fighting as hard as I can for them. :/

So, as much effort as I've put into being social this whole game, I still ended up in the merge with several people I have zero relationship with. :P GO FIGURE. At least this time it's not my fault, but it's still frustrating. It's also kind of funny that two of them, Jenna and Rita, were two of my favorite people pre-tribes. Now I don't even know what to say to them. I don't know if it's me or them but I feel like I'm having a hard time getting anywhere with them. Same with Natalie. So I have to break down those walls because even if we're not going to vote together I don't want to be the target of any idols they may have because OF COURSE it's going to be two of those three that have them because it will just figure. At least Jaison is close with Nat and maybe Jenna? And I think Hunter is close Rita. So maybe those relationships will buy me a bit of time until I can get my foot in the door with each of them.

I feel like I write about my disagreements with Woo in here a lot lately so maybe I should balance that out, haha. Actually the fact that we can disagree is one of my favorite things about us. I feel completely and totally safe with him, like I can express opinions and not worry that he's going to turn on me and vote me out. I definitely did not enjoy fighting with him yesterday, but the fact that the two of us being on the same page was worth fighting for I think is hugely telling about the kind of relationship we have.

Here Gregg, this is for you:

About time you showed some skin ;) lol

Perv

Soooo Rita posted this in our merge tribe group chat and what the fuck?? It seems really shitty, I don't know why she would fucking say that



Also I GOT THIRD PLACE IN A CHALLENGE! I am the fucking WORST at challenges and I was just four minutes off the winner, this was practically a miracle :D

Both Hunter and Nick want Kenny out but neither of them know it lol

^By that I mean, both Hunter and Nick want Kenny out, but neither of them know the other does :P

Sooo it's starting to get messy, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WAIT TILL THREE HOURS BEFOREHAND TO START DISCUSSING TARGETS.

Sounds like Hunter/Rita/Nick are saying they talk to Kenny the least, and then Natalie is separately saying the same thing. Nat approached Woo about wanting to take out an Anaira and I think is pitching Kenny. Woo and I think are kindddd of neutral on it, except we'd prefer it be Rita instead of Kenny, so we're hoping to wait until those two groups meet up and Rita is officially involved, then alert the rest of Anaira and hopefully pin it on Rita. But Rita is at a friend's house watching the game so a lot of this is going to fall on me and this is really not my forte, lol. Soooo... wish me luck. :D

I've now been approached by Jaison, Nat, and Hunter about voting out an Anaira, with Jaison and Hunter specifically pitching Kenny. I don't know at what point to tell Anaira so that I don't look sketchy to them and our alliance of 5 (which includes Kenny), without immediately giving away that it was me that told to everyone else. Why is Woo always gone when this stuff is happening, lol. This is where it is beneficial to watch Survivor when you play ORGs-- I haven't seen these situations play out over and over again for other people to know how they normally go. Sigh.

I think it's going to be Kenny and I think Neal is pissed. He told me to give him 5 minutes 10 minutes ago. Liz is gone and I've been blowing her up trying to figure out what she wants me to do. Woo isn't here. I mean there's only so much I can do by myself. :/

Hunter, Rachel, Rita, Nick, Jaison, Jenna, and Natalie have all confirmed they are voting Kenny. Neal's having a meltdown, Liz is upset but not here, Woo is also not here, I don't even know what Jeremiah is thinking because he only answers me once every thirty minutes. Not sure what our options are really.

It's like thirty minutes before the vote, it's 7-6 as it stands, and Neal wants to try and flip the vote on Nick. I kind of feel like we need to just let go of Kenny at this point tbh. I'm terrified that someone will tell Neal they're going to flip but not actually do it, putting the six of us on the wrong side of a vote and the 7 of them can just pick us off from there, especially when there's no clear reasons to vote anyone out and people are looking for ANYTHING. This might fuck me over with Neal though idk. But tbh I'm a little disappointed he wasn't more appreciative of me coming to him with this vote because as far as I know, nobody else even told him about it. And I think I have solid allies in Woo, Hunter, Jaison and Liz that will protect me no matter what so that would deflect Neal anger I think? Fuck I don't know. Why am I always doing voting periods alone. :P

UGHHHHHHH if I somehow made it out of that vote without Neal hating me it'll be a miracle.