I'll do this lolz.

Neal, oh how I love you so. The way you way your ice cream pants all the time, the way you told Michele she was not a badass bitch. The way you made your name in survivor history. Your story is tragic, but your ice cream legacy is fabulous. I truly wish you would name a flavor after me. Preferably one that is as yummy as you are. I feel like together we could make the flavor of love. I will take care of you for the rest of your life. If you ever get another staff infection in your knee, I promise I will be right there next to you, holding a bucket of ice cream, ready to feed you all of your favorite flavors.
I will climb every mountain with you in support of LGBT rights. I’ll even jump off the mountains if you ask me to. I’ll even jump off the mountains while eating ice cream at the same time. I will even write stupid love letters for you that literally make no sense just so that I can kick your ass in a challenge. I hope you lose so badly, but I hope you love me afterwards. I wish I were your dragon and your one and only dragon, but unfortunately that ho Rita is preventing me from being that. I’m going to keep writing about how much I love you so that I meet the 500 word minimum. Maybe I’ll even post some Fetty Wap lyrics about what a Trap Queen I think you are?

I'm like, "Hey, what's up? Hello."
Seen your pretty ass soon as you came in the door
I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll
Married to the money, introduced her to my stove
Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low
She my trap queen, let her hit the bando
We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go
We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos
Got 50, 60 grand, prob' a hundred grams though
Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole
Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go
Everybody hating, we just call them fans though
In love with the money, I ain't ever letting go

And I get high with my baby
I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah
And I can ride with my baby
I be in the kitchen cooking pies with my baby, yeah
And I can ride with my baby
I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah
And I can ride with my baby
I be in the kitchen cooking pies with my baby


Sums up how I feel pretty perfectly about the first time I saw you at check-ins, Neal. <3

You’re like a trap queen, except for instead of having the best drugs in the hood you have the best ice cream, and that is SO, SO much better. You know why? Because you and ice cream are my anti-drug. You and ice cream keep me moving through this game. You are my flavor of love.