im trying to say forthwith to a bunch of people. this is the first and boy it got results

we were talking about french toast crunch, which he had never had.

3/26 so far

I feel like she really had no idea what i was trying to say here >_> She has since changed the subject

awww geezzz

Jeremiah and I wrote a story tbh

Once upon a time
Provolone sat in a landfill, thinking she would forever be alone
She sat day after day, slowly being picked away, thinking there was no chance for her
But one day
a...thing...a creature...it came and swooped up provolone
The creature flew Provolone through the skies of Canada
The block of cheese had never experienced such freedom before
The wind blew through her creamy atoms
Slowly the ground became closer and closer in view for provolone
They were descending and she couldn't be more excited and sad for the end of this journey
For a new one was about to start

Provolone softly landed in the centre of a large, flowing field
Here, the creature nudged her and then flew off
May 23, 2016 1:56 PM

There she lay...in the centre of this large beautiful field...

Provolone felt the gentle breeze around her. The grass moved softly in the field, and all was calm
She closed her eyes to take in the relaxing surroundings, when all of a sudden, she heard vibrations in the ground


The sound got louder and deeper and closer, until the footsteps were right next to Provolone!

but who could it be!

Provolone opened her eyes to see a young woman with blonde hair standing above her

The girl stared at the cheese, smiled, and sang with delight - "Hey now, hey now. This is what cheese is made of!"
It was the one and only Lizzie McGuire

Oh SHIT that's a twist

IKR it just came to me
Not sure what she's doing in a Canadian field

Did she eat the cheese D:

I'm not sure! I only got that far in my head lol

Lizzie took Provolone with her
Dashing through the field and into the streets
She ran as fast as she could, dodging in an out of traffic, with only one goal in mind
Bring Provolone to her new home

Finaly Lizzie began to slow
Was it fatigue? Or...
Were they finally there
a door creaked open...provolone knew right away.
She was home.

They walked into the moderately decorated house, and Lizzie set Provolone down on the counter
She then headed to a staircase and called out to someone else

Suddenly, multiple footsteps were heard on the staircase
Provolone waited with anticipation to see who would arrive in the room

A blonde girl with a microphone was the first, followed by a set of twins, and then a trio of wizards
It was a Disney channel safehouse!

Provolone cried with glee!
This couldn't have been better!
But why would they choose her? A moldy brick of cheese...why was she so special


The set of twins came over, and began to remove the dirt and grime from Provolone's exterior
She heard them mumbling about some kind of "artisanal field cheese", but she was too much in a state of bliss to care.

She saw one twin grab a small knife

The knife drew closer to Provolone until it was softly resting against her side.
Softly and carefully, the twin removed her moldy bits

She enjoyed the feeling of her creamy self being sliced away into something more beautiful
Until finally, she was mold free. Provolone stood as a proud, clean block of specialty cheese.

"Perfect!" Lizzie exclaimed, marveling in the shiny exterior of Miss Provolone
She picked up her cell phone and dialed a number

"Hello?" a man's voice answered
"I think we found what you're looking for!" Lizzie said gleefully
"Oh?"

"I'm telling you now-- this block of cheese will be the next star of children's television!"
"Bring her out to Los Angeles, and we'll see about that." The man hung up.

"Alright guys!" Lizzie shouted. "We need to go to Hollywood right NOW"

Provolone flew the distance

All the way to the magical land of Holly wood, and here, in the land of fame excess...
Provolone was truly in a state of pure happiness
Quickly she was rushed into the production of her new TV show

"Proving Provolone"

Instantly, the show became a smash hit
Provolone was the biggest star of the Disney channel

Slowly, over time, Provolone found herself being groomed and the mold constantly being shaved off until she was a much thinner version of her former self.
She liked the new her, but at the same time...something just wasn't right.

Provolone sat in her refrigerator mansion one night, listening to songs on Cheesify
She reflected on the success of her TV show, and how grateful she was to have been plucked from that field in Canada
But she couldn't help but feel like she had lost a slice of herself

The next song to come on her playlist was "All About That Swiss"
The empowering words of Meghan Trainor turned on a lightbulb in Provolone's head

She thought about how Hollywood had influenced her physical appearance, and couldn't help but feel like she was impacting her young fans
(All About That Swiss, 'Bout That Swiss - No Cheddah!)

Provolone decided that it was time to take a stand

She looked high and low for options
She wanted to do this naturally, not through some crappy recheesination session like all of the other hollywood cheestars

Provolone decided to take a break from this hollywood life, to travel into the countryside and find a small farm where she could slowly build up her curdrage to make the cheese change


Until finally, she began to grow in mass. Using fresh milk and ingredients, she grew and grew until she was as good as new. A completely revelveetalized block of provolone cheese
And with her new look, she finally travelled back to hollywood...

Upon arrival back in Hollywood, Provolone's new look was met with a mix of shock, disgust, and praise
Her scrumptious figure was discussed by every entertainment website, tabloid, and fashion magazine
Overall, more people praised Provolone for her decision, and it propelled her into a new era of relevancy

She was offered multiple TV shows, including a soap opera called General Havarti
She became the face of Muensterline Cosmetics
And her life was Gouda

Provolone lived Lóng and she continued to always stay true to herself

She wanted to rise above all of those other cheeses, and really be the one true Gouda. The one that stood out from the rest. The Adele of the cheese world.
And this is what she succeeded in doing
From a landfill to stardom to true happiness.
Provolone had been through it all.

And to think, it all started from being tossed for being moldy in a random canadian college student's fridge.

Provolone. She was a great cheese, to me, your humble narrator, the best cheese. May we never forget the inspiration she brought upon us all, for she shaped our world and made us all feel grate. We must follow the immortal words of John Lennon and Let It Brie. For that is what Provolone would have wanted.
Do not be blue (cheese), for she will live on in our hearts.
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The End~

now that i have free time, i am looking forward to my career in improv comedy.

shit no editing

this is like a normal conversation for us