I just wanted to make a thread for things that are not necessarily game-related, but just fun spam for me to post to entertain myself. It will also most likely feature bizarre conversations I have with other contestants, or mildly interesting information about my life.

Being Jaison has prompted me to start a Samoa re-watch, since I haven't seen it since it aired, and I've been reading the Survivor Wiki biographies for some of the contestants. CBS was particularly corny in their write-ups for this season, and I'm seriously judging whomever edited the website biographies. These passages from the bios were particularly lolzy to me:


From Jaison's bio
"He dreams of waking up to the view a top Mount Everest and boasts that, for a million dollars, he would snowboard all the way down."

lol ok.


Mick'(aka "Hottest Survivor Ever" or "McDreamy" fo real, thanks for that Shambo)

"With all of the stress in his life, he candidly describes his perfect day being one where he is able to sleep in until 7:30 (or maybe 8:00) a.m."

Really, dude? SLEEPIN' IN 'TIL 7:30 AM! LIVIN' LARGE!

"He also admits that the quickest way to get him angry is to throw dirt clods at him."

How frequently is he in situations where this is actually a thing?!

"In addition to his desire to pay off student loans, he hopes to buy a vacuum cleaner with the winnings. Oddly enough, the wildest thing he would do to win would be to "give a homeless person a tongue bath" but he would never go as far as disabling someone … well at least not permanently.'

There are no words, CBS


Ben Browning's bio

"A bar manager, Ben is often seen with a girl on each arm and boldly claims he's never been rejected. 'I'm one of those people that just get lucky for some reason, if I want it, I do what I have to do to get it.'"

ULTIMATE FUCK BOI.


Monica's bio

"Confident that she can win the title of Sole Survivor, Monica plans to buy a designer purse as her first selfish purchase."

Million dollar purse.

Russell Swan's bio

"He is a dedicated father and a loving husband and describes a perfect day as spending time with his daughter and ending the day by "talking" privately with his wife."

I feel like this entire sentence really was not at all necessary.

"Always prepared to joke and laugh at himself, Russell is willing to go to drastic lengths for a million dollars in order to win including making a vow to cut off his dreadlocks if he wins the title of Sole Survivor."

No one cares this much about your dreads, Russ.

omg I wish CBS like lived up to those claims and on Day One had Russ cut his dreads and brought a homeless person for Mick to lick.

Here's my question, since it'll be bugging me this whole season with your signature: was Erik Cardona hot? Is he hot? He seems like pretty fuck boi but his drunk slurry voice during the Natalie speech gives me ASMR.

MICKER THE LICKER

Monica Culpepper @ 10/5/2016 15:47

Here's my question, since it'll be bugging me this whole season with your signature: was Erik Cardona hot? Is he hot? He seems like pretty fuck boi but his drunk slurry voice during the Natalie speech gives me ASMR.

I'm not really feelin' him, tbqh. Give me some time, I might change my mind. Actually, ask me after a bottle of wine or a couple tequila shots.

Kelly Sharbaugh's bio

"Among her multiple tattoos are the words 'cuidado' (Spanish for 'careful') on her forearm and 'trouble' on her left foot."

I hate this.


Jon Fincher's bio

"John has traveled extensively in South America, Europe, South Africa, and Canada, and he plans to use his experience of dealing with people from diverse backgrounds to his best advantage."

TRAVELED EXTENSIVELY IN CANADA. I AM SO IMPRESSED, JON.

Oh wait, I have to confess.......... I found John Fincher very very very very very hot during that season.

Get it Jaison

Monica Culpepper @ 10/5/2016 15:58

Oh wait, I have to confess.......... I found John Fincher very very very very very hot during that season.

He might be the hottest?! Although he looks really similar to some douche who was the Bachelor or something once.


Mick, Jaison, and John maybe be some of the hottest contestants of all time?!

Really hard to gauge whether things with JP are going well or not. His screen name says he loves sausages, so I sent him a picture of the gourmet, free-range British sausages I bought at Borough Market yesterday, but I have yet to receive a response.


He probably thinks I just sent him a photo of fossilized poop, tbh.

erik cardona is WAY hotter than john fincher what is wrong with the two of you?!

As I'm currently working on my Round 1 confessional, I thought I'd link you all to the two vines I've been watching nonstop all day today (if you like rap paired with animals, this is right up your alley):

https://vine.co/v/MrJLrp7Iguw

https://vine.co/v/MjZ1XnOYdmi

I saw these mildly interesting varieties of porridge in the porridge aisle at Tesco today.

I thought that big black sausage was Jaison's package