I feel so fucking stupid.... I should have played my idol on Lue. What's to stop Mookie/Rod from taking me out at 4 and taking Vytas to the end? I just realized how much blind faith I'm putting in them and how much the wool has really been pulled over my eyes. The only way I'm making it to the end of this game is by blindly trusting people... and it's the first time in this game I've been put in this position and it fucking SUCKS.
I think I just made my first mistake... if I had kept Lue, it would have ensured that Rodney/Mookie stayed with me until F3. Now, I'm having to rely on them. So fucking stupid, I wouldn't have made this mistake at the start of the game. But I'm wearing down and going a bit crazy and I'm getting emotional just due to the stress.
Sinking into the depths of despair and going insane.... I think Mookie/Rod played me. If they cut me at 4 for Vytas I'm going to be so fucking devastated.
But then again, I do have a 1/4 shot of winning that final immunity. I mean I could just be completely overthinking things...
If Monica wins immunity I have the feeling that I'm fucked and that Rod/Mookie aren't really with me and I am just OVER OVER OVER it. I am going INSANE.
um so a lot happened we basically told Vytas it was going to be him and now he's scrambling and saying I won't be able to beat Rodney and I just CANT
Crazy Bryce is coming back, he pops up in every game I've played and I've kept him under lock and key this entire time but he's bubbling to the surface and now I'm actually considering voting for Rodney because I think he can beat me.
UGH I JUST DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT. I'm such a wreck. I'm paranoid and on edge and so stressed out over a damn online game. Luckily I don't think it's me anymore... but I think I might actually be the swing vote??? If I get rid of Rod and then Monica next round then I'm guarenteed to win. If I get rid of Vytas and then Monica next round... I think I should have a shot against Rodney but I'm just terrified it's going to cost me the game.
Also, if Monica wins one more challenge then she wins the game. That's fucking disgusting to me. She hasn't been control at any point in this game, has had no idea whats been going on, and has been acting like a completely bitch ever since she returned. And she's going to win because she's good in challenges. That's just fucked up to me.
Do I vote out Rodney??? SOMEBODY HELP ME I CAN'T DO THIS GAME because crazy Bryce has officially taken over Brice.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Can I vote out Rodney? I feel like my answer at the start of the season would have been, "I'll do anything to win". If I vote Rodney my chances of winning SKYROCKET. Could I still maybe win if I don't vote him out? Yeah, but it would be tough.
I just don't know if emotionally I want to do that to another person. I know I would be DEVASTATED to have had Rodney/Mookie vote me out at 5. I was so worried that I would be the target this round and I was like, "Nah, Rod and Mookie wouldn't do that to me, even if they think I can beat them we had a pact". Like I'd be such a hypocrite to expect Rod/mookie to keep me even if I could beat them and then turn around and vote out Rod the minute I think he could beat me. I just don't know if I want to BE that kind of person. Would it be better to get second and see Rodney win then to completely backstab him and do that to someone who I genuinely like?
I really really really want to win but I also don't know if I want to be one of those people who will do ANYTHING to win. Like I still want to be able to feel good about myself
I have an hour to decide and I don't know what to do. Are Monica and Vytas even on for me to try to pull this off? Idk if I want to vote this off...
Like am I stupid for willingly doing something that negatively impacts my game just to help my friend? Rodney has been there for EVERYTHING for me. I just don't know if winning this game is worth hurting him like that. I know that if he blindsided me, (which I was afraid he was going to do before the immunity challenge), I would be devastated. So for me to turn right around and do that to him just makes me sick and I feel like would make me a bad person.
