The way it works is that at any point just once in the game you can activate it, and you'll be paired up with a player at random. Once you've used it that's it, you can't un-use it, so you sort of have to judge when the best time will be or if you even want to use it at all.

The advantage is you can discuss privately with somebody else, but the disadvantage is you share in their death, so it's got pros and cons.

No. It's in the game rules.

I've usually let it slide, but it causes some problems and skews the balance of the game a bit.

Bump! You can't keep quoting things directly, sorry. I'll have to issue a warning if it continues.