- Hi. I don't play often and I don't really understand how to write confessionals anymore. So I'm going to bullet point this one. Let's see how it works:

- I don't really like anyone on my tribe so far. I can't really hold good conversations. Maybe I'm too old? This game is already crushing my ego. Part of it may be that I am playing as a woman and judging by my daily encounters with my fiance, I have no idea how they work.

- My best option for the stats is to deliberately get a lower score. I likely won't have the time to do the longer challenges and I'm probably going to be horrible at the shorter ones. The lower score will make me less of a threat in the long run and cost me little, considering my effort in most challenges will be negligible. The added bonus here is that whoever takes a higher score will be a super-duper threat. And people don't like super-duper threats.

Good luck in the game, Vanessa! I remember worrying that I was "too old" given the age of my fellow cast mates in GVSE5. Embrace the maturity and use it to your advantage. It's always nice to watch players with a bit more "life experience"--take care, and I'll be watching!

Thanks! Yeah, I do feel like I'm sort of an old man. I'm trying not to give off too many "get off my lawn" vibes, but I'm not sure how well it is working.

This pretty much sums up my disconnect with the tribe now:

(9:11:20 PM) [sexy sexy novicosta bitchez]: (adorabethkingsley) https://31.media.tumblr.com/4312ecaf0150ec925402ddc7412a55de/tumblr_n39o0bbMeR1rpkouzo1_500.png
(9:11:35 PM) [sexy sexy novicosta bitchez]: (kieramos87@yahoo.com) LOL
(9:11:35 PM) [sexy sexy novicosta bitchez]: (carmenescarra) Oooooooo
(9:14:44 PM) GVSEVanessa: who are those people
(9:14:51 PM) [sexy sexy novicosta bitchez]: (kieramos87@yahoo.com) OMG
(9:15:01 PM) [sexy sexy novicosta bitchez]: (kieramos87@yahoo.com) Drag QUEENS okEEEEE
(9:15:04 PM) GVSEVanessa: o
(9:15:18 PM) [sexy sexy novicosta bitchez]: (oohitsryann) God I LOVEEEEE Bianca Del Rio!

Additionally, the amount of sexual stuff they post/say is actually pretty overwhelming and I consider myself fairly used to it. But it's pretty awful right now and very difficult to handle. I know, I need to be open-minded, not play the victim, etc. Just frustrating.

We won!

I haven't really talked to anyone about strategy. I don't necessarily feel comfortable with breaching the subject at this point. There is not one person who stands out to me as someone I can particularly trust. Of course, I imagine there is at least some strategy going on, as many of these gals unabashedly admitted they were overplayers. All that matters to me right now is that I think both Rachel and Sophia are below me on the totem poll. That's a position I'm okay with. Hopefully once we go to Tribal Council I'll be able to solidify things some more.

An added note: I've made significant progress with Mary. I'm fairly certain we are implicitly aligned, although no formal alliance has been established. She's really easy to talk to and we've been able to somewhat break our aliases to get to know one another. In a shocking revelation, she is actually older than me! I'm definitely playing up the maturity thing and we've both expressed some dissatisfaction over the meme-oriented, hyper-sexualized subculture of our tribe. Seriously, it's like every person here has discovered the internet for the first time.

Quote

(11:05:32 PM) Ilana Paradiso: How's the basketball team doing that you're rooting for? (11:05:43 PM) Ilana Paradiso: I forget which team you said (11:07:07 PM) GVSEVanessa: lol (11:07:11 PM) GVSEVanessa: well im not rooting for anyone atm (11:07:13 PM) GVSEVanessa: but i watch it (11:07:23 PM) GVSEVanessa: its almost over =( sad (11:08:12 PM) Ilana Paradiso: I know I heard it's the Final Four! (11:08:24 PM) Ilana Paradiso: Meaning four teams left I'm guessing lmao

Well, at least she's trying.

Haha I just saw this. It's funny considering I work in basketball!