Finally round five, yay!

So Vanessa is gone, which is annoying but deserved. Now that I know that she showed up and was just pissed about the pace of the game and lost motivation because she wouldn't be here for the end of it anyway, I really can't find any sympathy for her. She fucked over her tribe, that sucks. I'm pretty shocked Keisha has gone inactive, she was super into it before the swap, and she hasn't been on AIM in four days but is checking the board everyday. Maybe she got discouraged by the swap? I don't know. I hope she's okay.

As far as things on our tribe, Will should be leaving next time we lose. It was quickly decided between the girls that Jed would probably be the one to leave if we lost, because he was quieter and a little hard to talk to. But Will's story started getting a little fishy. He'd started out as our favorite guy, but then he tried selling super hard that he and Farris were at the bottom over on Indeprimo, which seemed weird considering his personality, but we were leaning towards believing him. Then Landon and I had a really open talk, where we discussed tribe dynamics, individual people, our ideas for later on in the game, all that. It was great, we totally clicked and we're working together even though we're on separate tribes, giving each other insight and details of what's going on. So during the conversation, I asked if Will was really at the bottom.

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10:58:10 AM Mary: was will really on the outside? 10:58:24 AM Landon: What? He said that? 10:58:35 AM Mary: um 10:58:44 AM Mary: maybe? 10:58:49 AM Landon: He practically decided the Pryce vote. 10:59:28 AM Landon: Actually it might have been Garris who decided that vote 10:59:30 AM Landon: Farris 10:59:47 AM Landon: Whateva. He wasn't on the outs though

And then we were fucking around, just bullshitting about non-game stuff, and in the middle of it he suddenly said:

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11:10:20 AM Landon: I'm kinda upset with Will thinking about it. Is he selling Jed and Farris out? 11:10:42 AM Mary: I don't think so, not to me at least 11:11:13 AM Mary: He hasn't talked much about either of them, other than to give me some suggestions on how to get Jed talking, because he was kind of quiet at first

And later:

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10:13:46 PM Mary: so if we lose 10:13:49 PM Mary: who would you want us to vote out? 10:13:51 PM Mary: :D 10:13:59 PM Landon: I would want you to get voted out 10:14:01 PM Landon: JK actually I like you 10:14:04 PM Landon: that was mean 10:14:17 PM Mary: psshhh i know you love me 10:14:19 PM Mary: i'm not skerred 10:14:19 PM Landon: I haven't met Ilana yet, I guess purely on a social basis I would chose her 10:14:37 PM Mary: what about for the guys? 10:15:08 PM Mary: because look, i obviously want to work with you, so i don't want to knock out one of your closest allies and make you hate me 10:14:57 PM Landon: lips are sealed? 10:15:14 PM Mary: yes, i swear to god i won't tell 10:15:22 PM Landon: Thank you, I really appreciate it 10:15:26 PM Landon: and likewise to you for the girls if we lose 10:15:49 PM Landon: But in all honesty, I really don't mind who from the guys leave. 10:15:59 PM Landon: Farris still talks to me, I wouldn't mind if you keep him around 10:16:15 PM Landon: We weren't that unified. We were kind of a cluster 10:16:39 PM Mary: how do you feel about will? 10:17:27 PM Landon: He's aight, I liked him but like 10:18:52 PM Landon: If you say that he told you he was on the bottom, that's kinda scummy of him 10:24:23 PM Mary: that's sort of how i feel about will 10:24:44 PM Mary: like he's super nice and friendly, but i trust what you tell me, and he's working all of us really hard to get us to believe he was totally fucked with you guys 10:24:49 PM Mary: and i don't like that 10:25:06 PM Landon: He wasn't at all 10:25:15 PM Landon: I feel bad for Farris and Jed that he says that 10:25:33 PM Mary: i get the impression that he and farris are super tight? idk 10:26:40 PM Landon: I think they were on our old tribe, but I honestly can't say 10:26:53 PM Landon: I know that Farris and Will were the only ones who didn't vote out David 10:26:59 PM Landon: so they might've bonded from that 10:27:17 PM Landon: and maybe Will thought he was in a crummy spot for doing it, but really, he wasn't

While I'm sure that Landon is holding some stuff back, I don't think he's just dumping all information he knows, but I do think he's being truthful about this. So I filled Ilana and Hien in on what Landon had said, which kind of added support to their suspicion that there was something not quite right about Will's story. I'd been talking to Jed more and once you get him talking, he's really great. Our bond was cemented during the Scrabble challenge, but even before that, I was starting to not feel good about voting him out. So I wanted to change Ilana and Hien's mind about voting him, and see if I could push it towards Will for being kind of shady, but in a way that wouldn't make them feel threatened by my growing bonds with Landon and Jed. Luckily, my girls are super smart and logical and we are all very like-minded, and it wasn't difficult to get them on board. Which is why I love them. <3 We all have amazing amounts of trust in each other and can be totally open with whatever we're thinking. I really couldn't ask for better allies, I love those girls.

I've had this open like the entire day but I haven't gotten a chance to keep going, so I'll post what I have for now. :)

Wow, Hien. Way to potentially fucking blow the plans we carefully laid out tonight. We were supposed to be throwing the challenge so that we could save the girls on Indeprimo and go into the merge with the advantage. But apparently Hien can't bear to not be the best at something and she blew through the challenge and got a great time. Like what the fuck?? She couldn't have waited to find out Landon's time and then make sure she went over that? Or at least dragged it out? There was NO reason to do the challenge like ten minutes after it started. And she's all "Lol whoops" on AIM, like she doesn't even give a shit. I mean... did she do it on purpose?? I can't think of any other reason why she would practically go out of her way to do really well in it, and then act like it's no big deal when it's our futures at the merge that are on the line. I don't understand why she would do this.

Ilana is equally pissed. And a little snippet of the conversation between her and a very nonchalant Hien:

Ilana Paradiso: (9:41:52 PM) So Keisha will get voted out
Hien: (9:41:57 PM) Yeah assuming
Ilana Paradiso: (9:43:24 PM) Do you care? lmao
Hien: (9:43:29 PM) I mean
Hien: (9:43:32 PM) I wish she was around
Hien: (9:43:40 PM) So yes a little bit but I can't really do anything about it
Ilana Paradiso: (9:44:23 PM) Well
Ilana Paradiso: (9:44:32 PM) the other tribe will get Jed
Ilana Paradiso: (9:44:42 PM) then Beth or Rachel leave if they lose again
Hien: (9:45:01 PM) Unless we can do some persuading

And with me:

Mary [6:27:31 PM]: anything from landon?
Hien [6:29:09 PM]: No :-(
Hien [6:29:11 PM]: Waiting for him
Mary [6:30:00 PM]: i'm super nervous that he's done it already
Hien [6:30:04 PM]: LOL
Hien [6:30:05 PM]: I hope not
Mary [6:30:18 PM]: and last i heard, abram was at over an hour and getting nowhere
Mary [6:30:24 PM]: so it's likely that will is going to beat him
Hien [6:30:29 PM]: Like wth
Hien [6:30:31 PM]: It cannot be that hard
Hien [6:30:39 PM]: Am I just good at challenges
Mary [6:30:49 PM]: it's easy when you have that website
Hien [6:30:56 PM]: True
Mary [6:31:01 PM]: but it's not like everyone knows about that
Hien [6:31:08 PM]: But like that probably would've been the first thing I went to
Hien [6:31:10 PM]: No matter what
Mary [6:31:28 PM]: haha well it doesn't appear that anyone else has

And a bit later:

Hien [6:36:10 PM]: I'm pretty sure we won
Mary [6:36:22 PM]: well that's going to suck
Mary [6:36:32 PM]: and we are going to be in trouble at the merge
Mary [6:36:44 PM]: and we're going to lose one of rachel or beth after keisha goes
Hien [6:37:33 PM]: Unless they win
Mary [6:37:48 PM]: well yeah, but that was the point of them winning tonight
Hien [6:40:16 PM]: Sigh
Hien [6:40:25 PM]: I mean.. I guess that guarantees our safety
Mary [6:40:34 PM]: well yeah, for this round
Mary [6:40:37 PM]: but not at the merge
Hien [6:40:45 PM]: Yeah exactly
Hien [6:40:48 PM]: When is the merge do you think?
Hien [6:40:52 PM]: F12 or F10?
Mary [6:40:55 PM]: no idea

I am very, very frustrated.

Edited in the header graphic for the round :)

Lol way to make the challenge results come down to Hien vs. Landon and give me a heart attack. :-P

Hey Mary! You've done a great job with confessionals, but I just wanted to get in your head a little more!

1. How do you feel your relationship will be at the merge with each of the girls?
2. Who do you trust the most now? Still Hien and Ilana?
3. Which boys do you trust the most/least?

1. How do you feel your relationship will be at the merge with each of the girls?
It might be a little rough with Keisha, since she and I have never really clicked. I can't really get a read on Rachel anymore, we haven't talked much, so I'm a bit worried about that, too. I trust Ilana and Hien with my life, although Hien's been acting a little funny lately, but I think it's real life and not game-related. I love Beth too, but I think she's in a funny spot, and if anyone was up for flipping I think it'd be her. I don't know why, she just strikes me as not as "OMG GIRLS 4-EVA" and is more strategic than that. Which I like, because I hate playing along tribal lines just for the sake of it, because I think it's sheep-like if you don't figure out if it actually makes sense for you in the long run. That being said, I haven't figured out yet which path is best, but it could very well be the girls, we'll see.


2. Who do you trust the most now? Still Hien and Ilana?
Yes. Hien has been a little more distant lately, but like I said, I think it's real life stuff and not that she's going to turn on me. I think I would feel hurt on such a personal level if she did that, because it'd make me feel like the deeper connection that we have was all a lie and she was planning on fucking me over the whole time. I don't think that's the case, but I'd be devastated if it was.

Ilana is like, my ORG soulmate. We are always thinking the exact same thing, we have the same outlook on most things, and we can be completely and totally open with each other. It's weird how much we have in common, and how much we think alike.

3. Which boys do you trust the most/least?
Ugh. This is a thing for me right now. It was hands down Landon when we first swapped. I felt like we were super open with each other, we traded tribe secrets, we even brought him in on throwing the challenge to get rid of Will, because he said that Will has been playing us the whole time about being on the outs. So we figured Will was shady and needed to go before the merge, so we threw it to dump him, and also to make sure the girls had the majority at the merge. And thank god Keisha is back because her getting removed from the game would have fucked that up.

But now I'm kind of starting to maybe doubt Landon. He's been less talkative, more distant, and our conversations have been kind of stilted and short. Granted, there's not much to talk about right now, but it feels kind of weird now. It totally might be in my head though. I think a lot of things are going to come into light at the vote tonight.

I also feel a little worried about my connection with Jed. He's another one that I felt like I bonded with super well, but now I'm wondering if he requested to send himself to IE figuring that the other tribe would lose, so he could go back to them. It would kind of make sense for him, seeing as it'd be 3-3 over here, and they could have the majority if he went back to Indeprimo. We've talked a lot less since he went to IE, and it feels like there's not much to talk about. Again, it could be because the rounds are longish and it's easy to run out of game stuff to talk about, but we used to kind of bullshit around and talk about whatever, and now we don't.

But I'm trying not to let paranoia get to me. I am cautiously optimistic that Landon and Jed are serious about working with me, though I don't think I'm either one of their closest deals. Which is okay for now. The important part is having people on the other "side" that like me and will look out for me, knowing I will do the same for them.

I'm worried about Farris' reaction to this vote. I think he and Will are going to be completely blindsided, and I feel bad about that. I might be overconfident in thinking that and they could know that we're totally lying about voting Carmen. I mean, it doesn't really make sense for us to give up our majority and they have to know that somewhere deep down, but I think they might truly believe us on this one. Part of me hopes that Will has a feeling he's leaving, so that he can at least be mentally prepared for it. I feel bad about this vote, I really like Will, he's a lot of fun, but based on the information from Landon and a little from Elias, we thought he was shady and needed to go. But now I'm a little worried that that info is incorrect. I guess it's not the worst thing for him to leave anyway, because he's pretty sharp and Farris seems like more of a follower where Will is more of a leader, which could be dangerous at the merge.

I don't know, I don't know if any of these thoughts are right. :P I know I keep talking about it, but I feel like every passing day I realize more and both how much better IMing instead of PMing is, and also how much harder it makes things, since it feels so personal. I meant what I said when I answered the question in judgment-- there's not a name I could write down (except maybe Abram :P) that I wouldn't consider to be a friend and wouldn't be genuinely sad to see leave. Being over-emotional is often my downfall in games, so in this format I imagine it's going to tear me apart the further into the game we go, assuming I make it. There's people whose names I feel like I could never ever write down, namely Ilana, Hien and Beth, to the point that I would probably tank my game to protect them. I hope to never ever be in that position and that I can make each of them feel close enough to me where they would all pick me over the other two in a decision, but that's very idealistic and probably not possible.

I just want this vote to be over with.

UGGGHHHHH WTF
landon is a dick
I was seriously the biggest fucking underdog
all you women made a deal with the damn devil
o__O

<3

Sorry Will :( But even without Landon, it still would have been you. One of you guys had to go, and you seemed to be the stronger player over Farris. :(

I just love how you girls all thought our tribe was split to hell and still thought you needed to throw the challenge. Haha

The point was going in with the majority. Why not do every single thing you can to try and put yourself in a better position? If you guys truly were fractured, then great. Otherwise, we had the majority and it didn't matter anyway. We didn't half-ass it. :P