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I watch Westerns 2024; I watch Westerns in 2024
 
MrsAliceKramden
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Post #16: 22nd Apr 2024 6:09 AM 
Hell or High Water

Absolute modern day gem, I loved this. These 2 white Texas bros rob banks, only they do it all smart like. They only hit crappy "Texas Midlands" branches first thing in the morning and they only take the cash from the tills (UNTRACEABLE). They are only making out with a few thousand dollars per robbery but they have no shame in hitting multiple banks in a single day. One brother, from that awful Dont Worry Darling movie is all sad and brooding but the OTHER bro is a fucken loose cannon ginger and rocks his clit. I guess he was military and jailed and all that

They launder the cash through an Indian Casino, which is a pretty good idea for all future bank robbers out there. Loose Cannon ginger man becomes more and more unhinged and is a bloodthirsty gun nut. At the big final bank robbery he shoots 2 or 3 people bc Texas be shootin at him

Eventually it's shown we're ROBBIN BANKS, specifically Texas Midlands Banks, bc "Mom" died and the bank (also Texas Midlands) is going to seize Mom's property bc of her reverse mortgage and back taxes. OH and there is oil on the property that was recently found, so the land is now worth a jillion dollars but the brothers are broke as asf and always have been, hence robbing the banks

Also Chris Pine has an exhausted ex wife and some kids. That's the whole thing,,,,,he robs the banks to keep the family land which is now actually worth something so his kids will actually grow up rich.....it's supposed to be Hawthornian I think

Ginger bro also does these wild ass Grand Theft Auto moves and kills a bunch of cops that chase them after the last robbery. He holes up with a rifle on top of a mountain and Brings The Pain. But then THE DUDE shoots him in the fucken head. THE DUDE is a Texas Ranger who has been chasing the bros the whole time btw. At the end THE DUDE talks to Chris Pine and is like I know you did this and got away with it I just want to know how (he was CLEAN and LE had a long suspect list of known felons who might have done the robbin with ginger bro). Oh also THE DUDE is "2 weeks from retirement" and ginger bro shot his partner through the brain in the sniper shootout

This is my worst review but 4real check this one out, hidden gem. Not a 5 star movie but 4STURE memorable and one of my faves

4/5 cactus
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Post #17: 22nd Apr 2024 6:32 AM 
Tombstone

Was Wyatt Earp really like that? Why was the beginning and very end of this movie so *fruity*? I always thought of the Earps and Doc Holliday as stereotypical tobacco spittin wild ass cowboys, but they were...so...clean in this movie. It seemed like they smelled really good and were well manicured

Wyatt Earp is just trying to go into business for himself bc he's tired of all the c*wboy shit and his wife is addicted to opium so he moves to Tombstone (1993) with that man who narrates for THE DUDE and has a moostache. By *coincidence* this is where old friend Doc Holliday is living now, with his wife & tuberculosis

Eventually the trio gets roped into being the new lawmen bc they are the toughest sons of bitches around, turns out this movie was a slightly fictionalized but mostly accurate retelling of "The O.K Corral Shootout", I didn't really know that was coming. I didn't really know anything about this going in, it's a pretty good and accurate movie about Wyatt Earp. I just dont understand why he was so *fruity* at times

Sex and the City Aidan was in this for awhile, Wyatt Earp shoots him though. lots of other famous hoes in this too

Wyatt Earp's bros get killed by guys with red sashes (lol) and then Wyatt Earp, who is a US Marshal at this point, leads a Vendetta Charge and murders all the red sashes. I always thought Wyatt Earp was ACAB, I guess you really never stop learning heh

Standout performance is 100p "Doc Holliday" though. There is no way he was eccentric like that but it was a really fun portrayal. Reminded me a lot Handsome Blonde Boy from 3:10 to Yuma (2007). He actually is the one to kill the final boss red sash, he does a lot of killing and funny gun tricks. But then he does in fact DIE, from the toughest gunfight of all, the dreaded tuberculosis

But before that he tells Wyatt to pursue/marry this theater braud??? And it gets really *fruity* and sappy again at the end? It started and ended weird but this was really good and I enjoyed it,,,,,I just,,,,,,was Wyatt Earp REALLY like that?

4/5 cactus John Locke from Lost was in this for awhile I LIKED it
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Post #18: 22nd Apr 2024 6:49 AM 
MrsAliceKramden @ 22/4/2024 7:09
Hell or High Water

Absolute modern day gem, I loved this. These 2 white Texas bros rob banks, only they do it all smart like. They only hit crappy "Texas Midlands" branches first thing in the morning and they only take the cash from the tills (UNTRACEABLE). They are only making out with a few thousand dollars per robbery but they have no shame in hitting multiple banks in a single day. One brother, from that awful Dont Worry Darling movie is all sad and brooding but the OTHER bro is a fucken loose cannon ginger and rocks his clit. I guess he was military and jailed and all that

They launder the cash through an Indian Casino, which is a pretty good idea for all future bank robbers out there. Loose Cannon ginger man becomes more and more unhinged and is a bloodthirsty gun nut. At the big final bank robbery he shoots 2 or 3 people bc Texas be shootin at him

Eventually it's shown we're ROBBIN BANKS, specifically Texas Midlands Banks, bc "Mom" died and the bank (also Texas Midlands) is going to seize Mom's property bc of her reverse mortgage and back taxes. OH and there is oil on the property that was recently found, so the land is now worth a jillion dollars but the brothers are broke as asf and always have been, hence robbing the banks

Also Chris Pine has an exhausted ex wife and some kids. That's the whole thing,,,,,he robs the banks to keep the family land which is now actually worth something so his kids will actually grow up rich.....it's supposed to be Hawthornian I think

Ginger bro also does these wild ass Grand Theft Auto moves and kills a bunch of cops that chase them after the last robbery. He holes up with a rifle on top of a mountain and Brings The Pain. But then THE DUDE shoots him in the fucken head. THE DUDE is a Texas Ranger who has been chasing the bros the whole time btw. At the end THE DUDE talks to Chris Pine and is like I know you did this and got away with it I just want to know how (he was CLEAN and LE had a long suspect list of known felons who might have done the robbin with ginger bro). Oh also THE DUDE is "2 weeks from retirement" and ginger bro shot his partner through the brain in the sniper shootout

This is my worst review but 4real check this one out, hidden gem. Not a 5 star movie but 4STURE memorable and one of my faves

4/5 cactus

whoever wrote me calling me a d*mbfuck for calling a Best Picture Nominee a "hidden gem" is an unlovable dork. I wasn't allowed to watch good movies in 2016/17 so this one slipped off my radar. Cry about it
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Post #19: 22nd Apr 2024 11:08 PM 
Herm @ 20/4/2024 21:31
Please watch Brokeback Mountain for me.

I' m only reviewing Westerens I haven't already seen :eyeroll emoji:

Last note on Hell or High Water, soundtrack by Nick Cave hell yea
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Post #20: 24th Apr 2024 8:42 AM 
I like how your review of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is just a review of yourself and your ex.

I haven't seen it, but I know it's a movie I'm supposed to watch.

If I like the Fistful of Dollars films, I'm sure I'm gonna like this.
 
   
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Post #21: 24th Apr 2024 9:29 AM 
MrsAliceKramden @ 19/4/2024 21:58
guy who keeps PMing me NEXT WESTERN PLS,,,,,,,,,,, Can. honestly get fuck*d I have a backlog of westerns I'm dumping on ur asses this weekend


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