I'm really sick of Sierra, Zamanda, Erik, etc. getting so lucky in this game. From the idol that Erik got placed in his lap to the swap after that which gave them a majority on both tribes to now this challenge where one of them is given the white potion and another one gets an orange, it's all just really annoying. We keep overcoming every single lucky break they get but eventually we're not going to be able to do much more. People can only have so much luck in these so when is theirs going to run out? Right now, Zamanda will be given the white potion so the goal is for Mike, Kamanda, Kim, Ronnie, Monica, Jeremiah and myself to spread our stuff all amongst ourselves in a certain way that guarantees only one of us (whoever Erik gives the blue poison to) will be vulnerable at tribal. Mike is getting Jerri and Heather on board as well so that this goes through. Ideally then only one of us (probably me because Erik is annoying) will be vulnerable and that person will be given Mike's idol. I don't trust Mike at all rn and I wouldn't be surprised if I'm not given the idol and I go this round. It would be awful gameplay to cut me loose so early but I don't know what to expect. I also know that if the plan backfires and anyone else comes to tribal vulnerable on our side besides me that that person will be given the idol instead of me. I'm very much in trouble and the fact that this challenge worked out so well for the other side just makes it ten times worse. Right now I just have to stick with the plan but if this backfires, I have a few tricks left up my sleeve that I can try.

I should take a post to be proud of myself for making the merge/jury in a 33 person cast when I was targeted at literally the first tribal council and have had the biggest target on my back all game. I personally think that's quite an accomplishment and as much as I'd rather not go out here and at least make it a little deeper before I inevitably get voted out, I'm proud of myself because this cast was HUGE. Another small personal accomplishment is I've talked to everyone who merged which isn't the same for most games as sad as that fact is. *pats self on back*

The positive stuff being over, I'll probably be going this round. I've tried to connect more with Sundra and even Erik just so I'm not their first target but I don't see anything I say being able to change their minds. Heather and Jerri are also people supposedly on my side but who want to take a shot at me because I'm too huge of a threat and I have too many numbers. And then of course we have Zamanda in charge of it all, driving everyone she can against me. I think that the person truly in control of that side (even Zamanda) is Sierra. And I think that despite being in the seeming minority that she has a lot of power and skill to be able to control this game even from the minority. She's even tried to create an alliance with me and the fact that it's making me not want to gun for her immediately should just go to show her ability. I'm sure she's talked to a lot of people about similar stuff and she is going to be a huge threat in this game. She is one of a small, select few who would have a shot at my jury vote at this point if I go out this round because she is a terrific player. I really hope she is at least being somewhat genuine with me because she's smarter than Yul and has to realize that me staying in this game shields what she is doing from everyone else. As long as people are looking at me as a target, she can keep doing what she's doing in the shadows. And if I'm not even gunning for her, it literally helps her to work with me or at least keep me in. So I'm hoping that this can actually pan out into something but we'll have to see. Right now, I'm just hoping until challenge results that the plan we set in place (read about it in depth in probably Ronnie's, Mike's, or Kamanda's confessional) works or at the very least that I am somehow safe. We shall see.

Lol. Jerri and Jeremiah lied. Don't see much of a reason since there wasn't much we could do but ok. All I can hope for is that they see me as really desperate and then Mike gives me the idol. But if he doesn't or if they don't vote for me, it's looking like game over. I would say that there are about four maybe five people with a legitimate shot at my jury vote. That could change depending on how people handle this, assuming I go. A lot banks on Mike rn.

A lot of people are being very dumb rn. They could be voting Ronnie and trying to draw an idol but I don't see them thinking like that. I'm a HUGE fucking meat shield for literally EVERYONE in this game. I'm a target before ANYONE. As soon as I go, Sierra, Zamanda, Jeremiah, Heather all get targets the size of Russia. Awful gameplay to take me out. But we'll see. I know Sierra is smart and maybe the other three are smarter than I'm giving them credit for. I just want the idol to know I'll be here afterwards. Luck may not be in our favor this time based on recent events but all it takes is a BB round with a legitimate (not luck based) challenge and this game gets flipped. Should be a fun 24 hours.

Everyone is trying to come up with ways to save the idol and help me make it through this round (vote Ronnie if they split between us, vote Monica if they split between us, convince the other side not to split between us and that we have two idols, etc.) but none of it will pan out. They will put 5 votes on me and then 4 on either Ronnie and Monica and that's too huge of a mystery to gamble by not idoling. Mike said he would give me the idol if I asked for it since we found it together and I plan to ask. The only way I'm making it through is if I idol. To take a chance and guess who is the other person getting votes just to try to save an idol is dumb. That person (whether it be Ronnie or Monica) will unfortunately go and it sucks but that's what happens when stupid powers and idols and swaps and white potions get placed in the lap of the minority. Luck sucks sometimes. My only hope rn is idoling and trying to do damage control next round. If I don't actually get the idol, so be it. I'm comfortable knowing that there's literally not another thing I could've done to prevent it and I also know I can't win even if I stay in so I'm content. Being first juror might actually be kinda cool. I hope I stay but if not nbd.

The other side is splitting 5-4 on me and Ronnie. Kamanda, Mike, and Kim have been trying to get Jeremiah to flip but he won't so they're voting Ronnie now to keep me safe and to avoid wasting an idol. If something crazy happens and I go, I know that I've done all I can. There's so little room to work with when the target on you back is as big as the one on mine is. It also doesn't help when you get fucked over by luck. I'm willing to stay on the sidelines for this vote and if that results in me going, I'm content. First juror could be pretty cool.

I'm pretty bored and there's little that can be done strategy-wise. So considering I'll be out very soon, rather than doing a cast assessment at merge like I normally would, I decided to rank everyone in terms of how they're playing. This shows where I stand with them/where I think their heads are at and also helps with organizing my thoughts for jury. If I somehow make it through like three rounds or so, I may do a more legit cast assessment (what I think of each person, where I stand with them, etc.) but for now this will be a general and less partial look at their gameplay.
















































































So there it is. As I said, I won't do an actual cast assessment with me involved but to give a rundown, Ronnie, Monica, and I are on the outs teamed up with Kim, Kamanda, and Mike who are playing both sides. Then you have Heather, Jeremiah, and Jerri who are playing both sides to a degree but seem too clearly with the other side and then Sierra and Zamanda in control of that other side with Erik and Sundra in their back pockets out in Lala Land. It's like a food chain right not and it'll be interesting to see how it plays out from my inevitable jury seat. If, by some miracle, I make it for another three rounds or so, I will do an actual cast assessment about how I feel about each person and where I see myself with them. I'd rather keep it as an impartial outsider view for now because I see myself going to jury soon. This round should be ok but the coming rounds will be fun. Still, one round at a time.

Ok so Shontayla was eliminated and we merge. Cool. All of the challenges in this series seem to be either luck based or based on social relationships so I knew what to expect. Sure enough, we get a challenge that is both. Now I know I have Kim, Mike, Ronnie, Monica, and Kmanda. Jeremiah, Heather, and Jerri are the wild cards. Jeremiah had flipped a few rounds back by allowing me to idol Yul out of the game and stuck with us as we voted Michelle. I feel most comfortable with him out of the wild cards and I think he trusts us for now. Then we have Heather who is close to Mike but who was also with Zmanda and Sierra. Still, she seemed closer to Mike and had voted out with him for Shontayla the round before with little issue so I felt somewhat confident. Jerri almost flipped the round before because Eric’s side is too big but luckily stayed loyal to Mike and Ronnie. I have little faith in her long term but I hope I can rely on her for now. So sure enough, regardless of anything else, we’re fucked because Sierra got the white potion so that was going to Zmanda.

We come up with a plan though. Kim, Kmanda, Heather and I will give our green potions to each person in the “minority” (Zmanda, Sierra, Erik, and Sundra) and we’ll give our reds to Kim, Kmanda, Ronnie, and myself (most likely to be targeted). Monica, Jeremiah, Ronnie, and Mike will give their blues to each person in the minority. Erik will most likely blue me. Jerri will give her orange to Zmanda and Zmanda will most likely give hers to me. Sierra will give her white to Zmanda. So now I’m vulnerable as are Sierra, Erik, and Sundra. I idol and we pick off one of them. We’re all still comfy in the majority. It was detrimental that Mike make sure Jerri and Heather are on board and Kmanda make sure Jeremiah is on board. We were led on, lied to, etc. until the results when we find out that all three turned and that Ronnie and I will both be going to tribal (along with Monica) unprotected.

So there we go. Worst case scenario. We kept thinking of possible scenarios, especially when they decided that they were going to split the vote. It all banked on Jeremiah flipping to make it 5-4-4 (against them) which Kmanda basically told me flat out was not going to happen. So now I had to idol. I had to make sure I would be safe and it sucked because Ronnie would go but I had little choice. People were spit balling ways that we could keep the idol and realized that if they (Kmanda, Kim, Mike) vote Ronnie, he goes instead of me and we can hold onto an idol. It was a sucky plan and it sucks that they had to go against Ronnie but it was best for the future.

Tribal results are revealed and sure enough Ronnie goes. But there’s a bit of good news, a silver lining if you will. Sundra didn’t vote….again….and hasn’t written a confessional recently……or in the last month….so she got removed for inactivity! It’s such a small victory but I’ll take it. One less number on their side which is pretty much all she was, a number, because she didn’t do much to actually play the game. Other than that small piece of good news, things weren’t looking good. They had me in a bad spot, they took out a friend, and if having such a huge majority wasn’t enough, they also had random.org as their fucking mascot. But something will change, something will cave, and I will take over this game.