I am frustrated, and Devin is an idiot. That's all there is to it right now. I don't understand his reasoning for things.

Me and Merron had been talking about how Devin winning HoH would be the best case scenario, but it's not because he's talking about backdooring my closest ally. He wants to put Alex and Drew on the block to flush the power out, and then he said he'd put Merron up and hope that I'd see voting to evict Merron as the best route. No Devin. At this rate you're sending a pair into the final 5 with immunity. Let's say it's me/Devin/alex/Metta/Drew. Alex and Metta have immunity. Let's say Devin wins HoH he has to nominate me and Drew. Let's say Drew wins the veto, what does that mean for me? I'm auto evicted because I don't have a fucking leg to stand on. I've told Devin that, and I've told him if I end up auto evicted that he won't get my vote unless he does a damn good job at convincing me otherwise if he's even in the f2.

Devin why the fuck are you being so stupid? You're pulling a Howie and a Fessy. You're being a dumbass right now. He said he wouldn't put me on the block, and he's relying on my vote to make sure a pair stays. I've expressed my fear to him. I've told him over and over how I don't want a pair to have immunity in the f5. Dude listen to me! You're acting like a fucking moron right now. I don't understand why he would even risk a pair having immunity at f5. It would be karma if he went home from an auto-evict.

Ugh he's a fool, and I don't know what else to do.

Definitely shouldn't have said those things. Sorry Devin I apologize.

Nothing ever seems to go right. I was so happy when Devin won HoH because I thought he’d see the benefits of ending the pairs, but I was wrong. My closest ally is on the block and is most likely going to be evicted. We had this huge plan thinking Devin winning would be the best case scenario, yet he had his own plans. The veto comp didn’t go our way either. Devin won, and he didn’t use the veto. Of course I don’t blame him, but he’s pretty much just sealed Merron’s fate.

I’ve been trying to talk to Drew, but he’s set on evicting Merron. I don’t understand why. Why not end the pairs and guarantee yourself f5? I think he has the power - I’m almost certain of it. I think he’s going to use it next round and evict the pair so he’s safe and definitely in the f4. It makes sense, and it’s the smartest move for him I guess. I don’t know. I’ve thrown so much at him. I’ve tried and tried and tried.

Metta will most likely evict Merron since him and Alex are partners. Chicken George says he has to think about it. Even in the event of a tie, Merron is gone. Devin is doing their dirty work for them.

I’m frustrated. Ever since the Rachelle eviction I’ve been fighting this uphill battle, and the one person who doesn’t see me as disposable is leaving. I’ve promised Merron that I’m coming after these fools with vengeance. Fighting is hard, and it’s tiring. I have to win as much as I can from here on out.

I need the next HoH/Veto
I need the f5 HoH/Veto
I’d prefer to have the f4 veto, but HoH would work too.

I am going to go through so much of the board looking for things. I’m going to practice puzzles. I’m going to make sure I’m ready for whatever is thrown my way. I’m going to study. I’m going to do whatever I can do. Right now I have to take Chicken George as far as I can, and that wasn’t my initial plan.

I have to play smart and not make personal decisions like I really want to.

Maybe soon something will finally go my way.